cold as ice by sin of existence
by mellow.fellow
Summary: Harry is not the boy who lived. His brother, Henry Potter is. Yep, he's a stuck up git. Enjoy the bashing of him, James and Lily. LOL is nigh. It will also be a SuperHarry? story. The pairings will be HarryXLuna and OCXFleur. NOTE this is not my story its one I saved. I'm rating it M for swearing and violence...this series is one of my favorites, I hope you enjoy it as much as I.


Voldemort had attacked swiftly, acting when his parents had been away, entering easily with the help of Peter Pettigrew, their parent's once friend. He came upon them in the cradle. He marked them, casting the Killing Curse down upon them with practiced ease. No one knew who had been marked first, only that James and Lily had returned to wailing babies, broken wards and bloody foreheads. Harry's scar had been lightning shaped, while Henry's had been a large S, in a circular rune. Dumbledore had arrived in seconds, having set the wards to notify him immediately if broken.

He had seen their scars, and knowing the prophecy, he deemed Henry to be the child of the prophecy, since the S would be more Voldemort's style, as he considered himself the Heir of Slytherin.

Things immediately went downhill. At least for Harry.

Henry got every ounce of his parents attention. He got the presents, the special advance training from Dumbledore, Remus, Sirius, though it was not much, considering his young age. Harry sneered in his bed. Henry, Henry HENRY!

They barely noticed him at all. It was like he was a annoying ghost, one they could not be rid of, and could only tolerate. Lily tried, of course, maternal instinct and all, but more often than not when she tried to talk to him, she really thought she was talking to Henry, and she got halfway through before Harry could not bear it anymore and quietly informed her of her mistake. There would be an awkward silence, then she would get a embarrassed look and walk out.

Harry grew cold. Cold and distant. He spent many hours locked in their family library, one quite large due to the importance and fame of their family. He grew imagination. He grew intelligent. He grew strong.

Since he did not have a wand, His father and mother being the only ones who did, he often filched them, staying up late while they slept, practicing basic spells and charms. His aptitude grew.

He got up, dressing methodically in clothes that had once been Henry's, him having outgrown them for a while. He picked up his wand from the side table, also once Henry's. He had refused it, after not being able to perform a charm for one too many times, not recognizing that it was his fault for not adding the extra flick, or not wanting to.

The many presents, attention and over lavishing made Henry quite the spoilt child. He got what he wanted, usually no matter what it was.

Harry pulled on the last leg of his jeans, and opened the drawer for his socks.

A large black snake immediately shot out, it's fangs searching for Harry's neck. He watched impassionately as it stopped a inch away. It remained there for a moment, before slowly retracting and coming to rest back in the sock drawer.

"Damn, no reaction again? You are impossssible to ssscare!" Ico settled back, his mouth closing, his head shaking agitatedly as it did a snake's resemblance of a pout. Harry grinned wryly.

"Really, Ico, the sock drawer? You have lost your spark." Harry smiled at the annoyed snake.

Ico was Harry's one true friend. Harry and their family had been going to a Muggle zoo, and Harry had been staring at the exhibit of the Black Tiger Snake, the eighth deadliest snake in the Muggle world. Suddenly, the snake was talking to him. Harry had discovered his ability to speak to snakes. No one else had found out, yet. Harry had felt bad for the snake, wishing it could see the forests where it's kin were born, and suddenly, the glass was gone. This was Harry's first bout of accidental magic, two years before Henry would perform his first bout of magic, making his birthday cake explode. Harry was five at the time. The snake slithered away, and the Muggle authorities were unable to catch him.

Harry felt happy for his friend, but wished he could have stayed longer.

A week later, Ico showed up in Harry's room. His parents did not know, of course. Harry had been feeding Ico and keeping him, stealing meat from the kitchen and such. Ico quickly learned how to navigate the plumbing without getting caught. Ico and Harry had been joined at the proverbial hip ever since.

Harry named him Ico from the Latin word, to wound, which had pleased the snake. Ico alos meant to strike a bargain, which Ico also enjoyed, since it accentuated the cunningness of snakes.

Ico had been up to this charade of hiding and jumping out at him for about half a year, right after Harry bet him he could not scare him. Harry hadn't lost yet. Not even when Ico hid in the toilet. It frustrated the snake to no end he was unable to get a twitch out of him no matter how hard he tried.

"Well, I had to think of sssomething. Thissss place only hasss ssso many placess to hide. I cannot wait until we arrive at your wizarding school. Think of theirr sssuprise when you already know hhalf the firsst term curriculum." Ico slithered up his arm and coiled around Harry's neck, his favorite position. Harry knew for a fact the snake could bite him faster than a heartbeat, and he would begin foaming at the mouth in less than thirty seconds. Or Ico could simply snap his neck with his large muscles.

With a sigh, Harry lifted the snake off, placing him right on Harry's opened suitcase. Ico coiled up, trying to be as small as possible.

"I left a few chunks of meat in a baggie in the corner. They'll be good for a couple of meals. Are you sure that you don't want me to pack more?" Ico shook his head, his beady black eyes staring straight at Harry's green. "I can't let you out until we've boarded the train. It will be at the very least six hours."

A shudder ran down Ico's spine, the snake equivalent of a shrug. "I'll be fiine. Ssstop worrying. You sssound like your mother before that pathetic excussse for a meal you call your brother's birthday. I'll jussst sleep half the way." Harry nodded and closed the suitcase, leaving a part at the end a good bit ajar, so oxygen and a little light could get in.

Harry took the suitcase, be careful not to jostle it too much, and headed downstairs.

Lily Potter was serving breakfast, cooing over Henry as she gave him a large helping of eggs and bacon. Henry Potter was much like Harry, black hair unruly, green eyes. The only difference was his scar and the fact he was a bit chubbier than Harry. And the permanent snotty expression on his face.

It was today they were going to Hogwarts, so Harry was not surprised to see a large present sitting beside Henry, still unopened. From the rounded cylindrical shape, Harry would guess it was a owl. Harry snorted. The git probably hadn't even realized it, from the way he was shaking it enthusiastically and how his mother was wincing.

He finally tore off the wrapping, revealing a snowy white owl in all it's beauty. It hooted indignantly at Henry, who's face fell at the sight of it. Harry rolled his eyes in anticipation of another mini tantrum.

"But mum" He whined, "I asked for a phoenix, just like Professor Dumbledore!" Harry nearly laughed at his stupidity. A phoenix? Who was the idiot trying to kid? They didn't sell phoenixes in stores. They didn't sell them anywhere. They only traveled with people by choice. Dumbledore had had to earn Fawkes's trust and respect before the gold and red creature allowed Dumbledore to stay in it's presence.

Though, by the look on his mother's face, she looked as though she HAD gone looking for phoenix.

"Sorry honey. But I simply couldn't find one anywhere." She looked anxious to cool him down. "But that owl is one of a kind! It is magical, and trained to sense auras, and-" Henry shook his head and turned the other way. He set the cage down rather roughly, earning another indignant hoot from the white bird.

"I don't want it. I want a phoenix." Harry discreetly moved to the side and picked up the cage, before bringing it to the couch and whispering softly to it. The bird calmed down, evidentially sensing no ill will from him, and allowed him to feed it bits of bacon through the bars. This was how it always went. They wouldn't miss the bird. It dropped off their radar the moment Henry stopped wanting it.

"How's Hedwig sound?" I asked it. She hooted softly, and Harry took it as a yes. She looked very intelligent. And aura reading birds were extremely expensive, too bad Henry couldn't see it's value. He continued feeding it any himself while his mother tried to soothe Henry.

There was a thump as the door swang in, admitting his father, James Potter. He tugged off his mittens, rubbing his ears and stomping his feet to remove the snow.

"The taxi's here. We'd best not be late." Harry finished up and wordlessly slunk past his father, carrying his bag and Hedwig. He barely acknowledged him with a glance.

The ride to London from their manor was long. Henry whined constantly. Harry simply sat next to the window, stroking Hedwig through the cage and re-reading his copy of Intermediate Spells, Grade 2.

When they finally arrived at the station, Harry spared himself the sight of his mother sobbing all over Henry, telling him just what a big boy he'd become, and his father clapping him on the back by rushing straight through the barrier.

The great crimson train was a impressive sight, he had to admit, but the blatant favoritist attitude towards Griffindor colors was a bit annoying. Harry had already decided to go to either Slytherin or Ravenclaw, as they sounded the most promising houses for learning.

Harry brought his suitcase onboard. He quickly learned that to find a cabin all to himself would be absolutely impossible. He finally decided on a cabin mostly vacant, save for a single boy in a grey hoodie asleep against a window. Harry supposed that it would be alright to let Ico out.

Ico immediately slithered out. The black snake twisted himself languidly around one of the poles, which was their way of stretching. Ico stopped squeezing, and rejoined Harry around his neck.

"Ssso...This is the famousss Hogwarts Expresssss?" Ico gazed about lazily. "Not very impresssssive."

"Wait until it starts to move. The view is quite breathtaking, I've heard." Ico uncoiled himself and slithered around one of the bars near the window, apparently waiting.

The door to the cabin opened, admitting a short, blond girl.

"Hello. Do you mind if I sit here?" She asked in a dreamy sort of tone. She gestured to the seat next to the sleeping boy.

"You'd have to ask him." Harry responded neutrally.

The boy, previously thought sleeping, spoke up.

"Certainly." He answered, his voice sounding rather deep for his age. The girl beamed.

"Great." She answered cheerily. "I'm Luna Lovegood." She held out her hand.

The boy merely stared at it. "Matthias Cooke." He answered. He turned back to the window. Luna seemed to take it without amiss, simply putting up her things and taking out a book to read. For some reason, to read upside-down.

"I guess it's my turn." Harry mused aloud. "I'm Harry Potter."

Unlike most times, there was not much of a reaction. Luna merely peered over her pamphlet and nodded morosely, before returning to it. The boy turned slightly, his eyes flickering the Harry's scar for the briefest of moments, before turning back to the window.

The train huffed, groaned, and slowly began to move. Ico gave a hiss of excitement. Matthias's eyes immediately whirled to him, and the boy's body tensed. Harry sighed.

"Ico, you're making our companions nervous." Harry admonished in Parceltongue. The boy's eyes turned to him.

"You're a Parcelmouth?" He asked. Harry turned to him.

"Yes. Do you believe it's a sign of dark wizards, like everyone else?" There was a hint of threat in Harry's voice. Matthias shook his head.

"No. That would make me something of a hypocrite. I'm a Aerimouth." Harry was intrigued. A person who could talk to birds.

"I see." Harry simply said. "But Aerimouths are held in much higher regards here. Dumbledore is a Aerimouth. Parcelmouths, however..." Harry left it unsaid. The point was apparent. Matthias shrugged.

"I don't believe in biased treatment." He said flatly. Harry cocked his head.

"Many others have said the same. Tell me, you don't come from England, do you? Your accent sounds foreign; Are you...Norwegian?" The boy chuckled slightly.

"Close. I do have Norwegian heritage. I'm American. A exchange student to be precise." He removed his hood. His hair was light brown, in a shaggy mane that reached the nape of his neck. His bangs covered his forehead, but his brown eyes peered out from under them.

"Really? Why? I've heard there are plenty of good schools in the US." Harry asked. Matthias shrugged.

"My dad's idea. Said I should experience some culture. Plus, most schools in the US school you for service in the government. There aren't a lot of career choices." Harry nodded. It made sense. Europe was the leading magical epicenter right now. The other countries were working naturally to try to keep up or bring themselves up to speed.

"So, If I'm not mistaken, that's a Black Tiger snake, right?" Harry nodded. "They're not native to England. Where did you get him?"

"Zoo incident." Matthias laughed. He reached up and pulled a cage down.

"Same." He removed the cloth. There was a peregrine falcon, preening itself carefully. "He's Onis."

Harry nodded appreciatively. "Nice. Hurricane." Harry pointed to his snake. "Ico." Matthias grinned.

"I get it. Wound. Bargain. Nice one." He leaned back. "So how's life as the brother of Henry Potter?" Harry nearly glared.

"Don't hold him in such regard. He's a spoiled little git." To his surprise, Matthias nodded.

"Figured as much. Was never much for titles, anyway." The boy had NO idea how many brownie points he had just won in Harry's book. Harry smiled.

"Well, Matthias-"

"Matt."

"Matt, what do you think we'll be seeing at Hogwarts?" Matt's eyes sort of lit up. He started talking about all the things he thought he'd learn at Hogwarts.

Harry talked back. This was the beginning of a good friendship.  
>The both stepped off the train, with Luna trailing behind, still immersed in her pamphlet. Harry had tooken a glance at the title. The Quibbler, by Xenophillius Lovegood. He supposed that was why she read it, but why upside-down?<p>

"Firs' Years! Firs' Years over here!" Harry turned to see a man bigger than any he had ever seen before. Must have some giant blood he thought.

Matt seemed equally calm. Maybe he had seen someone such before. Luna barely noticed.

Henry was among them, already surrounded by a gaggle of admirers and followers. He sniggered and pointed at the half-giant, no doubt making fun of him. Harry sent him a look of deepest loathing, one that would have DONE Snape proud. Matt noticed.

"Damn, that much?" He whispered. Harry merely nodded. "Looks like his mother still dresses him in the morning." Harry could not hold in a snort. He nodded inarticulately. Matt's eyes widened. "Seriously? Damn, what's the bastard gonna do if his shoe gets untied?" Harry chuckled.

"Probably order one of his servants over there to do it up for him." And the sad part was that they would.

"All righ', all'er you lot follow me. Mah name is Hagrid, and I'm the games keeper here at Hogwarts." The man strode off into the woods, and the first years were hard pressed to follow.

They were lead to a lake, a vast lake, where many rowboats were piled up on shore. Hagrid divided them up, three per boat. Harry, Matt and Luna were assigned to the same one. They watched the light of the torch of Hagrid, and finally rounded the bend.

Hogwarts from the night was a breathtaking sight.(damn I'm a poet and didn't know it.). The thousands of lights from the castle illuminated the surface of the lake. Even Harry was a bit shocked.

"Now that's a sight." Matt remarked. "Damn." Harry simply nodded. Suddenly something jerked the boat and a loud curse filled the air, and Harry turned around.

There was a huge tentacle wrapped around Matt's waist. He was beating it wildly. One hand was reaching back for something.

"Mother(censored)! Get the (bleep!) offa me, you stupid (bleep!)-ing huge ass tentacle!" Harry was surprised Matt had such a hidden vocabulary. He memorized a few word for later use.

Matt took out a penknife, when Hagrid called out hastily.

"No no no NO! Don't do that! That's ther giant squid! She's jus' bein' friendly, that's all!" Matt glared at him. But he took the knife and scraped it delicately on the skin before letting the tentacle go. It slipped back into the depths.

Harry raised a eyebrow at Matt as he produced a baggie for the thin skin layer. He shrugged.

"Who knows? Maybe it's worth something." That was logical.

They reached the foot of the castle, and walked up a large staircase many flights. Many students were panting as they reached the great hall doors.

There was a rather severe looking old woman in green robes standing in front of the doorway. As they approached, she spoke.

"I am Minerva McGonnagel?. I am teh Deputy Headmistress, and Head of the Griffindor House. Incidentally, I am also the Transfiguration proffessor. You will see a lot of me in your education. Please listen to these few rules before we start..."

Harry zoned out as she explained how to act as they stepped in. He turned to Matt.

"What house would you prefer?" Harry asked. Matt shrugged.

"Anything's good, I guess, as long as house placement doesn't affect career options." Harry nodded.

"I'd prefer Slytherin or Ravenclaw, personally. Ravenclaw because the people are dedicated, and Slytherin because the same reason, and it would piss off my parents." Matt fixed him with a stare.

"You really don't like them, huh?" Harry was about to answer, when McGonnagel? finished.

"..Now follow me. You will be sorted shortly." She flung open the doors, and the first years followed her in.

The Great Hall was very wide, and vast, the ceiling holding numerous enchantments to make it seem like the true night sky. There were four very long tables, each for a house. At the end, the teacher's table sat.

A lone stool sat in front of the teachers. On top of it was a ratty old wizard hat.

Harry watched dispassionately as the students whispered as pointed at him and Henry, trying to distinguish which one was the actual Boy-Who-Lived?. He ignored them.

The first years made a mass in front of the line. McGonnagel? started calling out names, in alphabetical order.

"Blaise, Zabini."

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat screamed. Harry was a bit surprised. He knew that it sorted, but it talked as well? He missed a few names in his musing.

"Cooke, Matthew!" Matt walked calmly up to the stool, and planted the hat firmly on his head.

Matt was shocked as he heard the hat's voice in his head.

"Well, well, aren't we the secretive one?" It whispered. Matt's eyes widened. He tried blocking out his memories, somehow, anyhow. It was no good. The hat sifted through them like a fishwife at a market. He gritted his teeth. Those were PRIVATE!

Harry watched in confusion as Matt's face twisted into...anger? It was a pretty scary look on him. He looked like a hawk.

"You don't like me looking at your memories? All right. I've seen what I needed from there." Matt calmed a bit. "Let us see...you're remarkably intelligent...excellent for Ravenclaw...but you have quite the ambition right there. Slytherin could steer you right." Matt kept his expression neutral. "No preference either way? Very well...in that case..."

"RAVENCLAW!" The Sorting Hat screamed. The Ravenclaw table cheered and Matt walked over to them, hands in his pockets. Harry looked over. Ravenclaw it was then. Harry was not going to lose the first friend he had made. A few names passed, until his name was called.

"Potter, Harry." Murmurs spread throughout the hall.

Harry walked up to the hat and placed it on his head.

The voice in his head was expected. "Well, well, the brother of the Boy. Or perhaps, a little closer to the Boy than you might think. My, you have such resentment bottled in you. Such coldness. Slytherin would be perfect for one such as you..." Harry firmly shook his head. "Oh? No? Ah, your friend I see. Well, you possess a brilliant mind, so I see no problem with it. One warning, though, Harry Potter. Do not let your hate destroy you, for it will destroy those around you as well."

"RAVENCLAW!" It screamed. The Ravenclaws cheered even louder. They had the brother of the Boy-Who-Lived?. Not as good as Henry, but still. Harry knew that was what they were thinking, but ignored it. He sat down next to Matt.

"Potter, Henry." Harry did not even turn around. He turned to Matt.

"Griffindor. Henry would never go against family tradition. Not against daddy dearest." Matt looked a bit bemused, but nodded. The hat screamed affirmative, and Henry walked over to join the whooping Griffindoors.

The rest of the sorting was boring. Luna joined the Ravenclaw table as well, taking a seat beside Harry and Matt.

Dumbledore gave his speech, warning them to stay away from the third corridor and such and telling them the Forbidden Forest, is well, forbidden. Then he said some final, random words and bid them to eat.

Matt looked in surprise at the food that had suddenly presented itself before him.

"Damn, when they go out, they really go all out, don't they?" He asked, to no one in particular. Harry nudged him.

"Try the mashed potatoes. They're delicious." He needed no further prompting.

Shortly after, the prefects led them to their dormitories, where they then slept. It was the beginning of the first year of Hogwarts. 

Harry woke up gradually, rubbing his eyes blearily, not truly wanting to. The sunlight from one of the dormitory windows shoen in, illuminating a figure in their light.

"Hey, lard ass, wake up." It was Matt. He gave Harry a saucy grin as he opened the curtains of his four poster bed a bit more. Harry groaned, and got up.

They both ate a quick breakfast in the Great Hall, while comparing each other's schedules.

It seemed that they were sharing the same Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration classes. The other ones were scheduled different or otherwise. Well, half the schedule was good, Harry supposed.

They quickly headed to the first class, which was with Snape. Harry long knew of Snape's dislike of Potters in general, from stories he heard his father telling Henry, although why James thought telling his son about how he bullied a nerdy kid and tormented him for his good grades throughout the school year was a good father son experience. He snorted drawing a particularly loathing glare from Snape.

Suddenly, his brother bustled in, alongside a red-haired boy, both obviously out of breath. Snape turned to them, a look of near relish on his face. Harry enjoyed it greatly as Snape dressed them down.

"Mr. Potter**, our newest celebrity. **I can assure you right now, ridiculous cuts on our faces do NOT except us from attending our classes on time, as you and your friend seem to believe. Twenty points from Griffindor, and you will serve a detention with me, at lunch. Take your seat." Harry took perverse pleasure in the fact that the exchange had the attention of the entire class. Henry grew red, but took his seat, mumbling under his breath about greasy nosed gits. Snape turned to address the class.

"You are going to spending the rest of your days in here at some point, like it or not. You will be learning the intricate workings of Potions, learn to appreciate the sizzle of a softly simmering cauldron. I will teach you how to cure illnesses, remove ailments, alter forms, strengthen bodies, brew glory, bottle fame. I can even teach you to put a stopper on death. Unfortunately, most of you will flunk out, but there may be some among you able to withhold my teachings." The stare he gave them all was quite intimidating, to most. Matt looked bored. Harry was unimpressed.

Snape, suddenly realizing he was neglecting to pester the other Potter, turned, and addressed Harry.

"Mr. Potter, where would I find a bezoar, and what are it's uses?" He snapped. Harry lazily looked upwards.

"In the stomach of a goat. You can use it to cure most poisons." Snape acquiesced that grudgingly, with a slight nod of the head.

"For what would I use the powdered root of asphodel?" Harry didn't break the gaze, refusing to let this man cow him.

"For the Draught of the Living Dead." Snape raised a eyebrow. This Potter was much more knowledgeable.

"And what does the Draught do?" He questioned.

"It puts a person in a trance so deep it stops the heart in its chest, leaving the drinker in a coma like state, until the potion wears off, which is proportional to the amount and quality of potion drunken." Snape nodded. He would let up, for now. If there was nothing else, he could always appreciate good knowledge of potions. The Draught of the Living Dead was not until the very end of the book assigned by the school, so very obviously this Potter had done the reading. He walked back to the front of the class.

"Can anyone tell me what I would use the skin of a boomslang for?" Snape highly doubted anyone would, since the Polyjuice Potion was restricted fourth year NEWT level curriculum, but he was suprised again when the boy sitting next to the smart Potter raised his hand. He called on him.

"The Polyjuice Potion, sir." Snape eyed him briefly. If his memory served, he was the transfer from America. It was quite surprising this boy would have knowledge of such advanced material when America was one of the countries in last place, magically. Then he abruptly recalled his last name, and mentally hit himself for asking the question in the first place. If the Matt boy was a Cooke, then it was not entirely surprising he knew such things, coming from a family such as his. Snape's black eyes locked with Matt's brown, noth refusing to look away, before the Potions master returned to teaching the entire class how to brew a basic cold curing potion. His attention was drawn back when the boy addressed him.

"Uh, Professor Snape?"

"Yes, Mr. Cooke?" The boy reached into his bag, and pulled out a small baggie. It had a yellowish film in it. "What exactly is that?" Snape asked, his curiosity overwhelming his disdain for a moment. He knew most ingredients on sight, and he did not recognize this.

"It's skin from the giant squid." Snape's eyes widened marginally. Murmurs spread through the classroom. How the hell had the boy acquired that? The squid's skin was as tough as dragon hide! "I was wondering if it had any magical properties?"

Snape slowly shook his head. "Seeing as you are the first to ever acquire such skin, Mister Cooke, I have utterly no idea. I could perform a diagnostic, if you wished." The boy nodded, and gave it to him. Snape quickly pocketed it, vowing to perform the diagnostic potion later. This could be interesting.

The lesson went perfectly well. Snape seemed to tolerate Harry when it seemed he would neither be intimidated nor lazy in class. His potion was nearly perfect, only not perfect due to Snape's expert eyes knowing the shade of purple to be a bit off, likely due to some minor error involving the ingredient portions or temperature of boiling. He gave him a E, since his policy prevented him from awarding O's to anything other than utterly impeccable potions, or Slytherins. Matt's potion was immaculate, gaining a instant O from the grudging professor, the only one in class, other than a few diligent Slytherins.

As they left the class, Matt addressed Harry.

"Hey, he really seemed to hate you. Your bro, too. Any reason why?" Harry shrugged.

"My dad bullied him a lot in school. I guess this is his way of payback. At least he's mostly fair. Henry got a T." Matt blinked.

"What's a T stand for?" He asked. Harry grinned.

"Troll." Harry replied, and Matt laughed uproariously.

They both quickly headed to their next class, Care of Magical Creatures. They found Hagrid teaching, to their surprise. Also, it seemed Luna was in this class. Why Harry chose to notice this, he could not really be sure himself.

They found Hagrid to be a all around likeable person, although a bit too trusting of animals that were quite a bit dangerous for a normal person. They agreed to meet him for tea on a few occasions, and Harry had to suppress a snort as Matt suggested the tea NOT not be held within the Forbidden Forest. Even more funny was the fact that Hagrid looked a bit disappointed. Luna agreed to join them, having listened in on the conversation.

Hagrid finished up his lesson on fire scorpions, of which he mysteriously managed to acquire cases of. Harry made sure not to pet them or sing to them softly, despite Hagrid's urgings that they became quite amiable when done. Matt seemed utterly unafraid, though. Harry watched him discreetly kill a couple and pocket them, for some reason. Matt, when asked, simply shrugged and said he was curious. Harry wondered briefly if he was going to become a Potions freak, like Snape.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was taught by Quirrell, a odd man that Harry did not quite like, for some reason. He wore a odd turban, and spoke in nearly incomprehensible stutters. He seemed chronically afraid of everything, as well. Harry was suspicious of him the whole class. There was just something about him that threw Harry off.

When they reached Transfiguration, the only people present were the students and a large tabby cat on the desk. It was watching them intently. Much too intently to be a cat.

"McGonnagel. She's a Animagus. She's the cat." Harry whispered. Matt didn't look suprised. Neither did Harry, even as the cat morphed into the hawk eyed visage of McGonnagel, startling quite a few of the students. McGonnagel didn't overlook their lack of surprise.

"Judging by your lack of screaming and jumping around-" McGonnagel informed them tartly. "-You must have seen a Animagus before." Both boys nodded. Matt raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Cooke?"

"How do you become a Animagus?" He asked, keeping his eyes locked with hers. She gave him a hawk eyed glance, before turning and pacing to face the board.

"I do not teach that until seventh year, as it is a very dangerous and life threatening procedure. All I will tell you is that it involves a potion, and several rituals, and _do not try it under any circumstances unsupervised!" _She finished, glaring at both boys steelily. They both stared at her nonchalantly. Harry caught the glance that Matt gave him though. It practically screamed, 'WE ARE TRYING IT ANYWAY!'.

And Harry agreed. Seventh year? No way was he waiting that long. Being a Animagus sounded useful. Harry agreed silently to talk after class.

Harry also secretly admitted the danger drew him. It sounded fun. After all, if you never wager a Sickle, you'll never gain a Knut, right? Matt seemed to share the same thoughts. He agreed to try to wheedle the pass to the restricted section out of one of the teachers. Harry would try as well. Both had advantages, since Harry was likely to be overlooked, and Matt was likely to be doted on due to his status as a transfer student.

The rest of the day passed uninteresting. Flitwick, their House Head, was a generally enjoyable teacher, he taught well, awarded well, and was a overall bright person to be around. Charms was a joke with him around, and everyone laughed. Harry already knew most of the charms he taught, so he could ignore most of what their teacher was saying and concentrate on more important things. Namely, getting that pass.

McGonnagel was most certainly a no-go. She would immediately know exactly what they were going after even if they made up a plausible excuse. She would demand to come with them, and the cover would be blown.

Snape was improbable as well. He would likely wish to come with them too, simply because he would not trust Harry.

The rest of the day passed by quickly. History of Magic was easily the most boring subject he had ever encountered, so he grabbed a quill and charmed it to write on it's own before quickly falling asleep. Professor Binns didn't even notice. So Harry woke up at the end of the period with a hour of sleep under his belt, and a full days notes. Joy.

Arithmacy was all right. Professor Vector was a good teacher, and not bad to look at. He had concentrated mostly on learning spells at home, so he actually enjoyed a bit of a challenge in this class.

Herbology was...interesting, to say the least. Professor Sprout was cheery no matter what shit she was pulling out of the ground, be it a flower or a plant that would spit pus all over you before laughing and jumping straight back down into the ground. The latter of which was far more common. As long as you listened to instructions and were quick on your feet, you would do fine.

Most days passed so which. Snape seemed to grow greater tolerance towards Harry, when it became apparent he was like neither of his parents. Matt continued to get impeccable marks in Potions. When Harry asked, he said

"Runs in the family, I suppose." Matt shrugged.

Harry accepted that. He would like to meet his family. When Harry looked up the Cooke name, it showed that they ran a large, potion distributing company, named Cooke It Up, (Harry had quite the laugh about this, until Matt punched him in the gut), and were accredited to have a long line of famous alchemists and craftsmen.

Another strange thing was that Matt continued to stockpile any ingredients mildly magical he could find. It wasn't until three days later that Snape mentioned in class that most Potions masters began stockpiling a secret supply at a young age, that Harry got it. Matt already knew this rule, and was building his supply. He also blatantly refused when Harry asked to see how much ingredients he had acquired yet. He was always quite secretive.

Then, the broom flying day arrived.

"What you are going to learn here today is the basics of flying on a broom. This will be strictly a lecture, and a demonstration. You WILL NOT be flying around under any circumstances. None of you will be playing Quiddich, either, not until second year at the very least." Many students groaned at this. "No complaining! Flying is dangerous! You need at least a year of training. And if just one of you complains that you've already flown at home, I swear to God..." A few students shut the mouths they had been opening to say just that. Henry included. Harry took a perverse pleasure in said fact.

"Now, you will position your good hand directly above your broom, and in a forceful voice, command it to come, UP! There will be NO mounting and flying of the brooms, do you hear me?" A chorus of mumbled yeses reached her ears, and she nodded. "Very well. Split up! One to a broom." The students did.

Harry took a place directly next to Henry, upsetting most of his overzealous followers. Harry watched amused as he failed again and again. He decided the opportunity was just too good to pass up.

"What's wrong Henry, realizing that a real broom is quite unlike the toy you play with at home?" He commented snidely. Henry glared at him.

"Yeah, let's see you do it, huh?" Harry just looked at him at placed his hand over his broom.

"Up." Harry didn't even shout. The broom leapt to his hand, quivering in his grasp, begging to be flown. Henry just glared some more. Harry chuckled lightly. Henry stomped off.

Near the end of the lesson, Henry finally managed to get it, although it flew up and whanged him in the eye, something that had Harry on the turf, laughing his guts out. Matt got it too, although he actually had to shout. Now, both boys were leaning back lazily on the quivering broom, Harry having shown him how to get it not to move. Luna got it too, surprisingly, and was sitting cross-legged on top on the broom, reading her pamphlet, a feat of balance neither boy was dumb enough to try to duplicate. A few other kids got it as well.

Then, Neville Longbottom accidentally hovered off and fell, breaking his wrist. He had to be taken to the Infirmary by Madam Hooch, with dire warnings to whoever dared to try flying whilst she was gone.

Then, it all went to hell.

Henry, fed up with people surpassing him, walked over and snatched the Quibbler out of Luna's hands. He held it up.

"What's this? The _Quibbler? _Who reads this trash?" He held it up, flipping through some of the pages. Luna fixed him with a glare that would have made McGonnagel jealous.

"Give. It. Back. _Now!"_ Even Harry was a bit intimidated. Luna looked like she was going to incinerate Henry on the spot. He noticed this too, and backed up. Who knew she was hiding this under all that dreamy?

"O-oh Yeah?" He stuttered, blustering. He hopped on his broom, and hovered shakily ten feet away. Some of the students gasped. Harry was unimpressed. He had done better before, at night on their father's broom. "C-come and g-get it!" Henry wobbled on his broom.

Harry made a dramatic sigh, hopping onto his broom, standing and hovering smoothly to Henry's level, not losing his balance once. Unbeknownst to all, except perhaps Luna and Matt, he had applied a sticking charm to his shoes. Matt followed his lead, but he was crouching. Henry looked poleaxed. He obviously hadn't expected anyone to _actually _come and get it.

"Give us the pamphlet, brother mine, before I'm forced to knock you straight out of the sky." Harry droned boredly. He held out a hand. Henry was sweating, and his thought could be read clear as day.

If he gave them the pamphlet, there was less chance of him getting hurt, or getting caught on a broom. But he would lose face if he was cowed by his non Boy-Who-Lived brother, making him lose a bit of reputation, something quite dear to him. Harry could already see the gears working in his head, and saw the outcome he was coming to. Harry sighed and mounted his broom properly as Henry reached the conclusion.

"As if!" And Henry sped off, wobbling the entire way. Harry groaned and gave pursuit, closely mirrored by Matt.

As they flew higher and higher, Henry abruptly stopped, and realized the shit he had gotten into. He was a hundred feet up, on a broom he barely knew how to fly, with two people who could actually fly on his tail, both suitably pissed.

"T-take the d-damn thing!" He yelled, and threw the pamphlet at them. Unfortunately, the throw unbalanced him, and with a scream, he began plummeting to earth. Both boys looked at each other, before sharing a sigh.

"I'll save the retard." Matt said dejectedly, before swooping downwards after him. Harry sped right after the pamphlet.

Harry watched it spiral downwards, watching the pattern, before abruptly speeding up and plucking it out of the air, right before it fell into a rather large puddle. He turned to see how his friend and brother were doing.

Matt was swooping downwards, easily passing Henry in his fall, before reaching out and grabbing his robes. The broom buckled, and dipped dangerously, but Matt managed to get another, firmer handful before descending and dropping Henry, roughly five feet. Henry let out a yell as he hit the ground with a thump. Matt descended, and hopped off the broom.

"MR POTTER! MR COOKE!" Harry winced and was treated to the sight of Madam Hooch, red facedly, striding up to them both. Harry discreetly tossed the Quibbler over to Luna, before turning to face her.

"Both of you. Follow me." She turned and marched off, Harry and Matt in close behind her.

They followed her through the hallways, winding staircases, before abruptly arriving at a place that was most certainly not the Headmaster's office. Rather, it was the Charms classroom.

"Wait here." And both boys did so, in a rather meek manner. Madam Hooch entered the classroom. They both waited for their judgment.

"Just in case she splatters us all over the Hogwarts walls, I just want to let you know...I love ya, man." Harry said, with a utterly straight face. Then, they both fell over laughing, abruptly defusing the tension. They rolled on the floors, sidesplit in laughter.

"Whoo, oh man, that was good." Matt said shakily, wiping a tear from his eye. Harry nodded, unable to speak due to the fact when he tried, giggles came out.

Madam Hooch came out, followed by Professor Flitwick. He eyed both of them. Then he gave a bright smile.

"Well, I'm not going to expel you, contrary to your belief." The boys looked incredulously at each other. Then back at him.

"Seriously?" They asked. He nodded.

"Seriously. What I am going to do..." The boys both waited with baited breath.

"I made you a Seeker and Keeper."

"..."

"Indeed. It is quite a honor. The two first in many years, I believe."

"..."

"Speechless? Boys? Well, I daresay!"

"...Seriously?" They both chorused. Flitiwick sighed, and rubbed his temple.

"Yes. Seriously. No joke. Without a doubt." He watched, a bit bemused, as the boys turned to each other with absolutely calm faces.

"...dude?"

"Yes?"

"I believe you know what this calls for?"

"Indeed I do. Up high."

"Down low."

Their hands met in the middle, with a nearly thunderous clap, and a yell, of "YES!" Flitwick chortled heartily. They were so enthusiastic. Much like him in his youth. They eventually calmed down. To a degree.

"We're gonna need brooms! And gear! And..." Matt trailed off, listing the many things that he knew they would need. Harry nodded.

"Definitely. I don't want some crappy school broom." He said, ignoring Flitwick's indignant protests. " Maybe my parents will lend me some money finally, when they learn I'm the youngest Seeker in one hundred years." Flitwick raised his bushy eyebrow. A knowledgeable child. "It's still probably unlikely, though."

Matt waved him off. "Don't worry about brooms. My Dad's going to have a cow when he learns about this. He'll buy the brooms." Harry nodded.

"The school will provide the rest of the equipment. Do not worry about it." Flitwick said merrily. They cheered again, then rushed off to their next class. Flitwick watched fondly. To be young.  
>Neither of them were able to sit still the next day. Matt had sent his falcon off as soon as lunch had come, arguing that his was faster and only it knew where his father lived.<p>

So he and Harry were eating breakfast in the hall. Today's serving was French toast with eggs and sausages on the side. Harry took a large sopping bite of French toast, smothered in butter and syrup. He had to admit, the house elves really knew how to cook it.

Suddenly, Luna sat down beside them. Matt eyed her curiously, before returning to devouring what seemed to be his second helping of sausages. Harry normally would been all over that, but the fact that Matt's father was buying the brooms held the spew of homosexual Humor back. That, and Matt packed a good punch.

Luna seemed totally in the world, very unlike her. Even more oddly, she was looking down shyly. Was that pink on her cheeks? She finally looked up, and addressed him.

"Thank you for getting this back..." she held up the edition of the Quibbler that Harry had previously saved. "It's...very important to me. It's a memento of my mother." Harry raised a eyebrow, and reappraised the small pamphlet. It was very creased, obviously worn quite a bit. "My mother and father always dreamed of writing the Quibbler. They dreamed together in Hogwarts. They were overjoyed when they first published the first edition. My mother was pregnant with me, at the time." Harry's eyes widened. The paper was in very good condition to be eleven years old. Luna must have taken care of it sacrilegiously. "The very day after the first copy went out in stores, my mum went into labor. She died in childbirth. This-" She waved the paper."-was the first copy they ever wrote. The only one they ever wrote together. The first one printed, too. It's very important to me. Thank you."

Harry smiled gently. "Luna, you're our friend. Of course we'd get it for you. Even if it was just a piece of dog shit you hadn't quite finished studying, we'd still go through those lengths to get it for you. That's what friends do, right?" Luna looked poleaxed.

"I'm...your friend?" She asked hesitantly. Harry grinned sheepishly, a very uncommon occurrence.

"Well, yeah, I mean I consider you to be. Matt does too, right?" He looked over at Matt. His face was still stuffed full of sausage. Harry squeezed down a almost painful urge to leap on the gay joke opportunity. Matt nodded emphatically and made gagging noises Harry assumed were agreement. Luna let out a giggle at his face.

"...Thank you." It sounded very heartfelt. Harry waved her off.

"Don't mention it. Just don't put up that half asleep mask you like to wear around us. It's kind of annoying." Luna smiled and nodded. She didn't seem suprised that he had seen through her facade. She settled down and piled her plate up.

About fifteen minutes later, a sharp whistle and the sound of flapping filled the hall. The three looked up, to see the owl post arriving.

Five owls branched off from the flock, carrying large sticklike packages. Harry could hardly believe his eyes. That soon?

Two owls were carrying each broom, and Matt's falcon was leading them. The packages were gently floated down, and the bulky Eagle owls carrying them immediately flapped off. The falcon stayed. It had a letter attached to it's foot. It hopped over to Matt.

Matt unattached the letter, ignoring the looks they were receiving from the other people at the table, and the whispers. And the pointing. The falcon let out a harsh cry, before stealing some of Matt's sausages and flying off. Matt opened the letter and read it aloud.

"It's from my dad." Harry nodded. The package in front of him was practically begging to be torn open, but Harry restrained himself. "Dear Matt, congratulations...yadda yadda yadda, so proud of you blah blah blah..." His eyes widened, and he looked at Harry. "He's going to be coming to some of my games." Harry nodded.

"I'd love to meet him." Matt shrugged and continued reading.

"Right...mhmmmmm Hogwarts sounds like a wonderful place, how's the weather, aaaand...?!" Matt got this shocked look on his face, then a huge grin. He whooped and hopped out of his seat.

"Yes! My dad is the GREATEST!" He pumped his fists up in the air. Harry raised a eyebrow.

"What?" Matt grinned at him.

"You 'What?' me now, but just open the damn package." Harry nodded and proceeded to tear the paper from it's contents. His eyes widened.

"Damn..." Harry breathed. His composure was leading in the table, as the kids near him were gasping. This was going to spread REALLY fast.

The broom was long and sleek, the handle being pitch black. It was long and streamlined. Harry could obviously see it was built for speed. At the end, the spines of the twigs were vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows, combed to perfecting, cut in perfect wavelength to make it look like the end of the broom was on fire. Along the handle of the broom, emblazoned in bold red letters, it read,

"WINGS OF LOKI"

Harry could only assume it was referring to the Nordic god of fire and mischief, Loki. It sounded a apt name. He heard a whoop from Matt and looked over.

Matt had unwrapped his broom. It was a bit different.

The handle was bone white, tapering down to the end, before billowing out in a wide, golden pattern of jagged twigs and spines from a steel grey iron plating. As he read the name, he assumed it was designed to look like a thunderstorm. The handle read the name in large golden bold letters.

"THOR'S WRATH"

The designers must have had good taste, Harry had to admit. The Nordic god of storms of battle. Very apt.

"Unbelievable! Un-freaking believable! My dad bought Valhalla brooms!" Seeing Harry's look of confusion, he elaborated.

"They're the company that hand makes the brooms for the Norwegian team! These cost a fortune, even mass produced!" Matt looked like he was jumping up and down in glee. In fact, he was. "He really outdid himself now! These are the brands the International Seeker and Keeper of Norway use! Holy SHIT! I have to try this sucker out!" Harry resolved to the same.

Unfortunately, all things must come to a end.

"Hey, you know first years can't have brooms in Hogwarts." Harry suppressed a groan as he turned, finding his brother and his gawking red-head friend. Along with a small cohort of admirers. "Hand them over." Henry, as expected, had not bothered to hide the greedy look on his face when he said this. He obviously wanted them for himself. Harry donned a sadistic smirk. This was going to be epic.

"You mean normal first years, Henry." Harry drawled. He leaned boredly on the broom. "We're not exactly normal." He smirked. Henry looked a little confused. Then angry.

"Oh yea-" Harry cut him off.

"Yes, oh yeah. We got accepted on the Ravenclaw Quiddich team." There were numerous sharp breaths and gasps. "Yep. First in a hundred years. We have special permission. So-" Harry smirked at the rapidly reddening Henry. "-you can take your demand and you can shove it!" Harry ended this with a very skilled use of the middle digit.

It was the greatest bird flipped ever. It was like a rocket. Harry's finger suddenly swelled, and rocketed up into the air. By now, this exchange had the attention of the entire hall. There was even fire trailing after it. Suddenly, as it reached it's zenith, it exploded, and thousands of tiny little fingers rained down around Henry.

Harry was shocked. He looked around. Matt shrugged at him. He didn't do it. Then he glanced at Luna. She was wearing a small smile, and had her wand out. Harry felt quite amazed. This was a very complex illusion.

Henry, meanwhile, was rapidly turning a shade of puce that would make Vernon Dursley cry in in envy.

"MUM AND DAD'LL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" He yelled, before exiting the hall in a rage. Harry's chuckles only seemed to enrage him further.

Harry followed suit shortly, grabbing the broom and his bag, before turning and leaving, closely mirrored by Matt, who was laughing his guts out, and Luna, who was still wearing that small angelic smile. As soon as they were a good distance away, Harry confronted her.

"That was really advanced illusion, Luna. Where'd you learn to do that?" She smiled.

"Well, it's always been a hobby of mine. I like to go unnoticed, and knowing how to make a distraction or disillusionment charm comes in handy a lot." Matt suddenly smirked. She looked at him.

"What?" He turned to her.

"How good are your disillusionment charms exactly?"  
>"This was a pretty good idea, Matt." Harry winced. Did Luna have to talk so loud?<p>

"Shh!"

"Sorry."

All three of them were currently rifling through the books in the restricted section. Matt's idea had been ingenious. Harry mentally hit himself for not thinking of this before. Hogwart's Restricted Section had a vast selection of magicks others considered unsavory. Harry snorted at their stupidity and bias. Light spells? Dark magic? There was no such thing!

Admittedly, a Cruciatious Curse was a terrible thing used incorrectly. But someone could kill a person with Windgardium Leviosa just as easily, by levitating the person far enough up then dropping them. How was that any different from a Avada Kedavra? In fact, in was probably a bit worse, as they had to watch themselves going up. Harry could not for the life of himself see why such prejudiced views had been kept and upheld. Certainly, these things had a great potential to be misused, but hiding them away was a even greater crime. There was no greater crime than destroying knowledge.

Harry had already found a number of immensely useful books, such as a book full of Parcelmouth magic and spells. Matt had found a book, 'Most Potente Potions', and was currently leafing through it. Luna was reading a book on some of the scariest sounding illusions Harry had ever heard of. Some of them made him shiver. She was still smiling peacefully, something that creeped him out even more.

When Luna had heard of their efforts to become Animagus, she had agreed that it sounded dangerous, but inherently useful. Harry's father had DONE it in his second year, and Harry refused to be one-upped by a man he so despised. She agreed to help them look.

Harry packed the book away in his bag, already searching for another. His eyes fell on a title. It read:

Animagi: Unleashing Your Inner Beast

Harry grinned and pulled it out. He tossed it to Matt, who jerked as the book fell on top of the page he was reading. He looked about to complain, then viewed the title. He grinned at Harry.

"You found it. Awesome." Matt made special efforts to keep his voice low. Harry nodded. Matt quickly packed it away. Luna looked disappointed. She packed her illusion book away with a sigh. Suddenly her eyes brightened. She reached for one last book.

It looked nondescript. She opened it. She cocked her head quizzically.

"Hey, it's blank."

Suddenly, a demonic face leapt out of the page at her, and she shrieked. The book let out a howl, sure to rattle the doors of the castle. Harry cursed. A light went on in Mrs. Pince's office.

"Shit! Luna, make us invisible! Now!" She nodded shakily and cast the charm. Matt grabbed his bag and Harry's, and they bolted out of the library.  
>Harry nervously watched the hourglass on Snape's desk. The sand was slowly trickling away. There was just about three...two...one!<p>

The bell rang, and the students filed out quietly. Harry grabbed his bag and books. Matt was doing the same, when Snape called him.

"Mr. Cooke, please stay for a moment." He looked at Harry. Harry shrugged. Harry left.

Matt approached the desk. Snape was simply sitting there, stirring a potion on the desk with one hand. The potion was emitting wispy smoke.

"Yes, sir?" Snape eyed him for a moment, before reaching into one of his cabinets. He pulled out the skin that Matt had given him previously. Matt stood straighter.

"I have analyzed the skin you retrieved from the giant squid. As you may know, the squid is very nearly the last of the Kraken. The others have all gone to hide on the floor of the ocean. I have no idea why one chooses to reside in the lake." Matt nodded. Snape picked up the skin.

"This skin is very tough. It is as tough as dragon hide, and will likely be tough if you cure and dry it. I would like to know the circumstances under which you recovered this." Matt nodded obediently.

"Well, we were on our way to the castle in the boats the first years all use, when the squid grabbed me around the waist." Snape nodded.

"A bit uncommon, but it happens. Go on."

"I was quite shocked, as you would imagine. I took out my penknife, and was about to stab it-" Snape raised a eyebrow. "Yes, it would not have been smart, but I was quite frightened. Hagrid stopped me." Snape motioned with his hand, a gesture to go on. "Anyway, I didn't stab it, but then it...spoke to me. In my mind." Snape leaned forward.

"Telepathically?" Matt nodded.

"Yeah. It...told me I would need the skin. It told me it had foreseen it. Then it let me go." Snape was confused, to say the least. Kraken had the ability to telepath? Perhaps through touch. But to see the future? Such a ability was only heard of in sphinxes and phoenixes, and they spoke in riddles and song. Snape doubted the boy was lying. His reputation prevented it.

"Well, that is quite the story, Mr. Cooke. The skin also has a magical core, as you'll be pleased to know. You know what that means, of course." The boy would. His grandfather would have taught him, no doubt.

"It can be used as a wand core."

"Correct." Snape handed it to the boy. "Now, I have no idea what you will do with that, nor do I particularly care. If you're going to sell it, I wouldn't mind buying it. For 100 Galleons?" The boy shook his head. Snape shrugged apathetically. "As you wish. As I said, it is yours to do with as you wish. Now off with you. My class is arriving." The boy nodded and left.  
>"Now, you may all have a go at Transfiguring your needles into matchsticks." McGonnagel? waved her hand dismissively at the class, and they set about it.<p>

Matt flicked his wand at the needle. It quivered, then turned a little red. He flicked again. It got a little more squarish. Matt sighed in exasperation.

"Harry, how'd you do it?" Matt stared enviously at the perfect matchstick sitting in front of his friend. One flick. That's all it took for Harry. And he wasn't even listening! He kept his head down most of the time in class! How the hell was he so f-ing good?

"Try being a little more fluid." He advised. Matt squared his jaw, and flicked his wand, taking a little longer to be fluid.

There was somewhat more success. The needle elongated into a long, metal rectangular strip. Still metal. Matt sighed.

"You gave it a upwards twist on the end of the flick. Try keeping it level." Matt concentrated, and drew his wand through the air in a horizontal, fluid flick. The long strip took greater form, and took the form of a matchstick. Matt made a pleased noise, and inspected it. It was still a little cold and stiff, but it was most certainly a matchstick.

"Pretty good, but you won't be lighting any fires with that thing." Matt shrugged. It was good enough. Transfiguration wasn't his strong point anyway.

McGonnagel? came over and inspected their matchsticks.

"Good form, General shape well, a bit stiff still. I'd say it was a E." Matt nodded and accepted it. He wasn't expecting much anyway. Her eyebrows raised as she inspected Harry's.

"Well, well, Mr. Potter. I haven't had anyone get this on the first try in I don't know how long. Even your father took two tries. Perfect matchstick. O." Harry smirked. It was a small victory, but a victory still. Take that, James Potter!

McGonnagel? turned to the rest of the class, and addressed them.

"As for all of you who did NOT get O's, you may write me a three inch essay on the correct way to Transfigure a needle into a matchstick." There were groans around the class. Lots of them. It seemed only Harry and Hermione Granger had been able to do so correctly, and only Harry on his first try. Matt seemed glum. Harry leaned over.

"I'll help you on this, if you help me on the Potions essay." Matt's face brightened, and he grinned.

"Deal."

They filed out of the class. As the two boys moved to leave, and older voice addressed them.

"Oi! Potter and Cooke, right?" They both turned, to see an upperclassman moving towards them. Harry mentally groused for a name to the face, and eventually dredged it up.

"Roger Davies?" He grinned and nodded.

"I'm the Ravenclaw Quiddich Captain. You're the two first years who got on, right?" They nodded. "Good. It's time for a practice."

"We have Potions." Matt reminded him. Davies just smirked, and waved a paper in front of their eyes.

"Special Permission from Flitwick. You get to skip it and History of Magic." They grinned. Scratch their two most hated classes. Bonus! "Right, grab your brooms, and head out to meet me on the field in fifteen minutes." They nodded, and rushed off.

Fifteen minutes later, they were both jogging onto the turf, panting a bit. They'd had to run quite a bit, since the Ravenclaw dormitory was on the other side of the school from the Transfiguring classroom. Roger was waiting.

He looked about to have a spaz attack at the sight of their brooms. He gestured shakily to them.

"C-can I see those?" Both boys shrugged and handed him the brooms. He whistled appreciatively and ran fingers down the hafts, inspecting them.

"Bloody hell...I thought they were kidding. Your dad really does well by you, don't he, Cooke?" Matt just smirked. "Ah, the Loki...I read about this baby in Quiddich Weekly. Damn near fastest broom out there. Faster than the Firebolt, but there are a few flaws. It can't do too well on turns at high speeds. Be careful with that, Potter." He handed the broom back to Potter. He inspected the remaining broom. "Now this is a marvel of craftsmanship...See these wide spines at the end? They're barely regulation, skirting the edge of too wide. Excellent for batting away Quaffles. It's damn near like a eel in the air with maneuverability, but the speed leaves something to be desired. Good thing you won't need it much for Keeper. Good brooms." He handed the Thor's Wrath back to Matt.

He seemed to think for a moment. "Wait...Cooke...isn't your family the one that owns Cooke Family Wands?" Matt shook his head.

"No, that was my grandfather. He's dead." Roger winced. "Have you heard of Cooke It Up?"

"Yeah...yeah, aren't they the ones that supply half the potions for St. Mungo's?" Matt nodded. "Damn good, too. I once shattered my leg, falling off my broom. Hurt something awful. Went to St Mungos. I remember seeing your logo on a LOT of products." Roger clapped his hands together.

"Well, back to the matter at hand. You both know how to play, right? The rules and positions and balls and such?" Harry and Matt nodded. "Good, that saves me a lot of time. Get up there in the air, and have a go on your new brooms. I'll work with Cooke, Potter, you let the Snitch out a bit and play a little cat and mouse with it."

They nodded and took to the air.  
>An hour later, they were both sore, but extremely satisfied as they listened to Davies lavishing praise on them.<p>

"Damn it all, Cooke. Screw the broom YOU'RE the eel in air. How the hell did you manage to block that last one? I could have sworn bending that way was impossible. Potter, the longest time you took was what, three minutes to catch the Snitch? We're going to murder Griffindor on Thursday! Go get some rest. Damn, wait until I tell the rest of the team about this. Bloody hell..." Roger walked off the pitch, still alternating between cursing and thanking God.

Harry grinned at Matt. He grinned back. Thursday was going to be fun.  
>Thursday arrived pretty quickly, between the two of them helping each other with Transfiguration and Potions.<p>

"Alright, team. Listen up. This is the first game of the year, and everyone is expecting us to get our arses kicked so the Griffindors can get on with their rivalry with Slytherin. That is NOT going to happen. You know what's going to happen?" There was silence. All eyes were on Davies. "We are going to shove our brooms so far up their arses that they'll choke on them!" The team cheered. Harry turned to Matt. He was already ready. Hell, they were both practically shaking.

"Ready?" Matt asked. Harry roared with the rest of the team.

"READY TO KICK ARSE!" They all jogged onto the pitch, amidst the wild cheers of both sides.

Harry looked around in wonder. The place was lit up with both colors, Griffindor's red and gold and Ravenclaw's blue and bronze. Streamers were flying everywhere. Both sides were going wild. The fanatical cheers nearly deafened him, but he still enjoyed it. He and Matt followed the team to midfield, where Davies and Wood, the Griffindor captain were shaking hands. Madam Hooch was there as well.

"Alright, I want a good, clean game. No tugging on brooms, no grabbing other players, no unsportsmanlike conduct whatsoever. Do I make myself clear?" Both captains nodded emphatically. "Right, now shake hands..."

Harry. meanwhile, was not paying much attention to them. They were doing something he'd get to see over and over and over again. He looked at the Griffindor team.

There were the Weasley brothers, good Beaters, the both of them. There were the three female Chasers, Angelina Johnson, Olivia Bell, and Katie Bell. Wood was the Keeper.

Harry quickly went back and recounted. Where was their Seeker? The Griffindor side suddenly redoubled their cheers, and Harry got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He look towards the Griffindor side, and sighed.

"Bugger." No one could hear him among the cheers. They didn't need to.

There was Henry, smiling and waving, jogging out with a Firebolt in his hand.

Henry grinned smugly at him as he took his place among the Griffindor Team. Harry sighed exasperatedly.

"Henry, what are you doing?" He just kept grinning.

"Dad had Dumbledore write up a pass so I can play too. I am the Boy-Who-Lived?, after all." Harry kneaded his temples furiously. Harry could not possibly understand how a dumb luck shot that killed a Dark Lord when you were too young to remember suddenly made you good at everything you did. How stupid could you be?

"Henry, unless that scar of yours has extra padding somewhere in it, you're going to kill yourself out here. You're shit hopeless on a broom." He glared angrily, which Harry utterly ignored.

"I am not! Dad's been giving me lessons! And with this broom-" Henry held up the Firebolt. "-There's no way we can lose." Harry snorted.

"Unlikely. The only way you'd be able to catch the snitch is if they installed arms on it." Henry looked about to retort, but Madam Hooch blew her whistle.

"Mount brooms! Take your positions!" Henry mounted the expensive broom, flying, if not gracefully, at least steadily up into the air. Harry supposed he must have gotten some lessons. Harry mounted his broom, and zoomed quickly to the position right in front of the Keeper, being Matt. Matt was muttering angrily.

"Stupid ass. Can't get on the team proper, so he goes and buys a world class broom and pulls in some influence. Bastard." He looked at Harry, and smirked. "Harry, you better beat him so bad his own mother won't be able to recognize him. Then maybe some air will be let into that big dark space where most people put their brains."

"Gladly." Henry would never know what hit him.

"Ready?" There were nods from the Griffindors. "Ready?" Nods from Ravenclaws. "QUIDDICH!"

The game started with aplomb. As soon as the Quaffle went up, Cho Chang immediately plucked it out of the air tossed it back to Davies, who took off. Lee Jordan was commenting.

"And off it goes, with Cho Chang in the lead, wonder if she's still sore about losing her position to a first year-"

"Jordan!" McGonnagel? admonished him strictly.

"Sorry Professor. Anyway, Davies is off, off to Chang, off to Davies, they're making it look bloody easy!"

Harry, meanwhile, as hunting frantically for the snitch, the tiny flash of gold that would herald his victory. He took a position greatly above.

"Wood blacks the Quaffle, brilliant save, I'd say. And off it goes to Angelina! To Katie! To Olivia!"

Harry took a moment to watch the three Griffindor Chasers zoom towards his friend. They were quite skilled, nimbly avoiding the attempts to knock them off their brooms by the two Ravenclaw Beaters. Matt was tensed on his broom, ready to rocket in any direction of the three hoops he was protecting.

Angelina neared the top left pole, her arm cocking back with the Quaffle. Matt leapt into action, his Thor leaping to the hoop. As soon as he was midway, she suddenly twisted and passed to Katie Bell, who had taken perfect position in front of the ring he had previously been protecting. Matt saw. Katie threw.

Matt threw his weight backwards, letting his thighs go limp. Harry's breath caught. He was going to fall off his broom! Matt reached out, and plucked the Quaffle out of the air.

Suddenly, his legs locked up, as he caught himself on the broom, holding on with only his knees. The Ravenclaw side exploded into cheers. Even the mildly biased Jordan seemed impressed.

"Bloody hell! Cooke catches the Quaffle! Bloody amazing save! Bloody fu-"

"JORDAN!" The boy winced.

"Sorry Professor. Cooke saves the goal in a bout of athleticism I've not seen since Angelina caught Wood peeking in the women's shower room! What a chase that was..."

"Jordan!"

"Sorry, running off topic!"

His apology did no good, and most of the students were laughing good naturedly at the Griffindor Keeper, who seemed quite red-faced.

Harry concentrated back on the matter at hand. He tried to remember the tips Davies had given him. Watch out for bludgers, got that, as he preformed a barrel roll to avoid a bludger 'accidentally' aimed at him by the Weasley twins. Stay calm, and watch for signs of gold. And three, if you don't see it, check if the other Seeker does. Harry snorted. Fat lot of good that was, since there was no way...Harry looked at Henry.

To his immense amazement, Henry did indeed seem to be chasing a small golden blur! He cursed his foolishness and arrogance, and sped right down after him. Jordan noticed this.

"It's the Snitch! The Golden Snitch had been sighted!" All eyes were immediately drawn to the exchange between the two brothers.

Harry caught up easily to Henry, who seemed to be having a great deal of difficulty chasing the Snitch and staying on his broom. When he noticed Harry hot on his heels, he jumped the Firebolt faster.

"Not a chance, Harry! It's mine!" He yelled. Harry sighed midair, and twisted and accelerated, bringing him right up next to Henry. Henry panicked, and swerved his broom at Harry's. Harry cursed and decelerated, and Henry swung wide into the open space he had previously occupied. Harry immediately gunned his Loki, bringing him in the lead for the Snitch.

"You're not beating me! I'm the Boy-Who-Lived!" He screamed. Harry rolled his eyes and concentrated on the swinging, winged little ball in front of him that would spell his victory. Henry was working his broom furiously, but to no avail. The Loki was faster.

Harry reached out his arm. His sapphire sleeves were whipping wildly in the air, obscuring the Snitch somewhat from view. He growled and shook his arm, brushing them out of the way.

He reached out to grasp it, and the tips of his fingers brushed it's cold golden casing-

Before his broom was violently jerked back. He looked back.

Henry had a hand on the tail of his broom, and was using it to pull his Firebolt closer. He looked frantic. Harry growled, and swatted at Henry's hand.

"Henry, let go of my broom!" Henry gripped tighter. Harry yelled angrily at his sibling. "LET GO OF MY FUCKING BROOM!"

"NO!" He screamed. Harry looked in front of his own broom. His emerald eyes widened. He swatted at Henry's hand more. It was no good.

"HENRY!" He yelled. Henry was reaching out, now nearly neck and neck for the Snitch. His fingers were grasping anxiously. Harry swallowed anxiously. They were coming up on one of the walls. They were nearly ground level, and Harry's feet were nearly skimming the ground.

Harry, with a roar, knocked Henry loose, and jumped off of his broom, at the Snitch.

Henry, passing by and still looking back, only managed to let out one wail of disappointment before his Firebolt smashed against the Ravenclaw spectator wall, sending him jerking forward off of his broom to be spattered against the Ravenclaw banner. A loud thudding and crunching sound accompanied this, before gravity pulled his body down, along with the banner, covering his body with the blue and bronze. Gasps spread through the stadium

Harry hit the ground roughly, his body skidding and flipping through the rough gravel, before passing onto the turf, where Harry proceeded to rip up a few chunks of soil and asphalt as he skidded to a halt, spread-eagled on the green turf. He groaned piteously. His body screamed with pain all over.

He glanced to the wall. The Loki had decelerated quickly without it's rider, and was now patiently hovering near the wall, completely unharmed. Unlike Henry's Firebolt, which seemed to be snapped in two, and stuck in the wall quite firmly. He let out a forced chuckle.

He heard the whoosh of brooms, and suddenly his vision was filled with anxious faces. He recognized Cho's, Davies's, Matt's and the rest of the teams. They were, for the most part, asking about how he was feeling. He let out a snort, sending shocked looks across most of the faces of his teammates, before starting to giggle weakly. This was too rich.

Another whoosh sounded, and Madam Hooch's face crowded his vision. He could hear her voice faintly.

"Mr. Potter? Mr. Potter! Are you all right?" He let out another giggle, and opened his mouth.

Lodged in-between his front teeth, struggling weakly, was the Golden Snitch. His lips quirked upward, and he let out another weak chuckle. Then everything went dark.  
>Harry eventually woke up, in a very gradual manner. His vision eventually grew lighter, and colors started returning to his spectrum of vision<p>

He eventually was able to recognize that he was in the Hospital Wing. He blinked rapidly, tears growing in his eyes as they adjusted to the light. He glanced around, taking in his surroundings.

Matt and Luna were sitting at his bedside, obviously waiting for him. Matt had hit arms tucked leisurely behind his head, and Luna was sitting with her chin in her hands, her long silvery blond hair halling around her face. She had very big eyes, he suddenly realized. They were very shiny, too. Why hadn't he noticed that?

She suddenly perked up, noticing his newfound conscious state. Then promptly proceeded to endanger said state, by throwing her arms around him, and squeezing with all the strength in her arms, said strength being a surprising amount. He coughed slightly, and she quickly released him, blushing slightly. She smelled faintly of lavender, he thought.

"You're awake! I'm so glad!" Luna nearly squealed. She looked about to jump him again, and he held his arms out warningly, and she backed away, blushing abashedly. Matt grinned and clapped him on the arm.

"You, my Snitch eating friend, have just gained a lot of respect in Ravenclaw. In the whole school, as a matter of fact. Except Griffindor, of course." Harry was truly suprised.

"Really? I thought my maiming of that turd I call brother would have everyone out for my blood." Matt grimaced.

"That retard? He's over there." Matt jerked a thumb behind him. Harry strained over to look.

Henry, or what Harry assumed was Henry, was at the moment nothing more than a cast covered lump. The only things visible were his eyes, and part of his skin that allowed a IV drip through. He looked like a cartoon character.

Matt chuckled. "You really did a number on him. He won't be getting up any time soon. Just about every bone in his body was shattered. Of course, you don't look too pretty either. No broken bones, but you were banged up pretty bad. Luckily, you'll be up for the Halloween feast, so she says." Matt donned a sadistic grin. "Henry won't, though." Harry laughed along with him.

"Good."

Their laughing drew the attention of Madam Pomfrey, who strode over to check on them.

"Ah, awake now, are we, Mr. Potter? Feeling better?" Harry nodded.

"Still a bit stiff." The elderly Medi-Witch? nodded.

"As expected. I'm suprised you're doing as well as you are. You heal remarkably fast, for someone who took a fall like that." She made shooing motions towards his two friends. "Come on now, out. Potter needs to take his nutrient supplement and his skin restorative potions, and then a sleeping draught. Out!" As expected, they protested.

"Oh come on..."

"Madam Pomfrey, he just woke up..." She briskly shook her head, now pushing them quite insistently out.

"No buts! Out! No more visitors, either!" They sighed and left. She turned to him.

"Well Mr. Potter, that was quite a stupid stunt you pulled on the pitch yesterday. Jumping off a speeding broom after the Snitch, them catching it in your teeth? Honestly..." As she turned to leave, she stopped, before turning to regard him with a tiny smirk.

"Though I cannot deny you have style." And then she left, to prepare the draughts.  
>Harry healed even faster than Madam Pomfrey had anticipated, rejoining the classes and school life a few days before the feast. He was able to catch up somewhat on the material he had missed.<p>

Right now, he was reading one of the books he had pilfered from the Restricted Section, which detailed the most rare and dangerous serpents around, extinct or otherwise. He honestly had no idea why it had been placed there, until he found the name Tom Marvalo Riddle on a old checkout list. He had nearly lost it right on the spot. Banning a book because Voldemort had simply taken it out once? Preposterous!

...Of the Runespoor, of the Vorpala, and of the Basilisk, but there were none greater than the Wyrms of old, the ancient serpents of times immemorial. The precious few, who's existence shaped our world. The Earth Wyrms, the seven who shaped our lands, carving our seven continents from the great continent of prehistoric times. The thirteen, the mighty Fire Wyrms who to this day move beneath our crust, who's very passing brings forth spews of magma and molten rock in gouts that rend the skies with ash and fire. And the Ice Wyrms, who's very presence brings forth the winters chill in a icy grasp that surpasses the grasp of Death himself...

"Harry?"

Harry looked up, finding Luna there waiting. He closed his book with a snap, setting it off to the side. He addressed her.

"Yes?" She looked worried.

"You're going to miss the feast." Mentally, he hit himself. Of course! He must have been quite caught up in his reading. He did have a tendency to forget the world around himself when reading." It's starting soon."

"Thanks Luna." He packed up his books and headed to the feast.

The Great Hall was decked out in full Halloween colors of green and orange, with turkeys, caramel corns and every other possible thing you might was for Halloween. Hell, just about anything you might imagine was there!

Matt, as usual, was stuffing his face to bursting. He seemed to be paying special attention to the caramel corns. Said corns being quite diminished. Harry looked at him bemusedly as he stuffed another handful in his mouth.

"You're going to get sick that way." Harry voiced, watching with a little disgust as Matt swallowed the huge load of caramel corns before stuffing another mouth full in. He shook his head.

"Nowpe. Cawamewl cowns awe thhpe bewst." Harry shook his head, and sighed. There would be no getting through to him.

Suddenly, lightning crackled in a jagged spider web above their heads, which zigzagged crazily, drawing every eye, until it imploded, right in front of Dumbledore. He put away his wand, and stood up. Harry noticed, with a bit of confusion, that the Defense teacher was missing. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, and the noise died down. He put his hands down.

"Now, we have gathered here tonight to celebrate-" He got no further.

The Great Hall doors burst open with a crash, to reveal a very disheveled Quirrell. He looked like he was about to piss himself. He rushed forward, shouting all the while.

"TROLL! Troll in the dungeon! Save yourself!" And with that, he fainted, letting out a small 'oh!'. Harry was rightly skeptical. It seemed rather dramatic., and it WAS Halloween. He turned to look at the professors. They were either obscenely good actors, or were truly suprised.

The moment of silence in wake of Quirrell's words abruptly ended. There was chaos. Screams filled the air, and Harry could nearly smell the panic. Dumbledore created the lightning web again, and the noise died down.

"SILENCE! Now, prefects, please escort all students to their dormitories, while the teachers and I deal with this threat." The prefects immediately did that, calling out houses to lead so they could head to the dormitories. Harry was about to turn, when Matt grabbed his shoulder.

"No. We're going with the Hufflepuffs." He looked deadly serious.

"What? Are you crazy? Their dormitory is the closest to the troll!" Matt nodded.

"Exactly. We need to kill it." Harry could have hit him. Was he insane?

"Us? Why?" Matt reached back, and pulled out Animagi:Unleashing Your Inner Beast. He waved in front of Harry's face.

"The transformation requires us to drink a very complex potion with very rare ingredients. Now, I've managed to acquire most of them, but I still need a Moonshade plant, from the Forbidden Forest, a boomslang skin, and a Troll heart. The first two are relatively easy, I already know where the are, but this chance for a Troll heart will not come along again. We have to go after it." Harry sighed. It seemed there would be no way around this.

"Fine. Let's join the line." Harry and Matt joined the line, shortly followed by Luna.

They were led through the winding corridors. No one seemed to notice they weren't Hufflepuffs, as they were all just concerned about getting to safety. The three drifted to the back of the line, before breaking off, as they heard a loud inhuman yell. They nodded to each other, and ran towards the source.

"It's coming from the girl's lavatory." Luna whispered. They nodded and drew their wands. They rushed in.

The troll was huge. Steel grey skin, nearly twenty feet of pure muscle. It was carrying a large hunk of wood, apparently it's club. It had already destroyed the majority of the girl's bathroom.

What they were not expecting to find, however, was one Hermione Granger right under one of the sinks, cowering and sobbing. A quick look found her wand to be some ten feet away. Harry gaped for a moment. This was going to make this difficult. The troll roared, and smashed another sink.

That club was getting troublesome. Harry pointed his wand, and spun it in a half circle, before jabbing it.

"Fractus!" he yelled. A purple hex sped out of Harry's wand, neatly snapping the club in two in a shower of splinters. Matt was already casting his own curse. Matt let lose his spell.

"Combusto!" The red scorching hex sped forward and impacted against the skin with a bang, blackening the skin. The troll roared and turned to face them. It pounded it's fist against the ground, jarring both boys off of their feet. Hermione let out a rather loud sob, before a large rock that the troll dislodged struck her in the head, promptly knocking her out. Matt cursed.

"Fuck...troll skin is extremely spell resistant. We'll need something with a lot of oomph to punch through it." Harry was already thinking.

"Or just bypass it altogether..." Harry muttered. Matt turned to him.

"What?" Harry shook his head, then pointed at the troll with one hand.

"Distract him. I have a plan." Matt nodded, and let off a few Stunners at the troll, which only seemed to aggravate it. Luna followed suit, with a few blasting hexes.

Harry grabbed the edge of one of the remaining standing stalls, and hoisted himself up. The troll was now stumbling around, having fell victim to one of Luna's Blinding Hexes. It was howling a clawing at it's eyes, stumbling around unseeingly. It crashed into a stall right in front of the one Harry was currently balancing on. Quite precariously, he might add. Harry wobbled, windmilling his arms.

Finally, the chance arose. The troll turned around, baring it's back to Harry, and he jumped, leaping onto the troll's back, grabbing the troll by it's wide collarbones, and climbing up as best he could. The rough skin of the troll made a surprisingly good traction with his sneakers.

The troll abruptly realized someone was climbing onto it's back, and started swatting at Harry. As one mammoth paw nearly dislodged him, he shouted, "Luna! I need a distraction, ASAP!" She nodded. She turned to Matt.

"What do trolls eat?" She asked him frantically. Matt, who was still shielding himself from falling debris, gave her a look like she was insane.

"What? Why?" He asked stupidly. Luna growled and hit him upside the head.

"JUST TELL ME!" He 'eeped' and backed up, stuttering.

"U-um, they e-eat most k-kinds of m-meat, m-mainly mutton, and bee-" Luna stopped him , and nodded, before waving her wand in a intricate weave.

Moments later, a sheep suddenly appeared in midair under the troll's nose. It stopped clawing at Harry, and sniffed. Luna altered the weaving a moment, and suddenly the sheep began roasting over a fire. The troll started drooling.

Harry had his chance. He jammed his wand up the troll's nose, and shouted.

"Reducto!"

The troll's head exploded in a shower of gore and brains, covering the three with the blue-purple blood of the troll. It toppled down, face first, and Harry hopped off as it's body thudded and hit the floor. Harry ignored it. They had come here for a reason.

"Matt, the heart!" Matt shook himself out of his stupor, and ran hurriedly over to the troll's corpse. He point his wand at the troll's chest.

"Extraho extraxi extractum heart!" The wand glowed, and a light built in the troll's chest. Suddenly, a large, purple heart floated through the troll's chest, leaving the skin completely undamaged as it passed through. Matt quickly grabbed and stuffed it into his robes, just as the professors crowded into the room.

"What is going on he- oh my Lord!" McGonnagel? gasped as she viewed the students covered in blood. "What in Merlin's name happened here?!" Harry cocked a eyebrow at her.

"We killed the troll." He informed her tartly. She sent him a glare that should have roasted him on the spot. Harry merely relaxed on his back heel, coolly watching as she attempted to eviscerate him with her gaze. She eventually gave up on that.

"Would you mind telling me exactly why you were here and not in your dormitory?" Harry tried not to show he was floundering. Luckily, Luna stepped up.

"We knew that Hermione wasn't at the feast. These two offered to help me as I warned her." Harry could have kissed her. She was pulling off her dreamy look magnificently, even covered in blood. "Hermione got hit with a rock during the fight. She's over there." Luna gestured cheerily to the unconscious girl. "Don't worry, she's just unconscious." McGonnagel? moved quickly to assist the fallen girl.

Snape sneered.

"That is the biggest load of bullshit I've heard in a long time. Fifty points from Ravenclaw for-"

"For what, exactly?" Flitwick peered at the Potions Master from over his short spectacles. "Killing a full grown mountain troll? First years? I should think they deserve something else, if for nothing other than their powerful luck. Twenty points to Ravenclaw. Each." Snape looked murderous.

"Surely you can't be serious! You're rewarding them? For disobedience and recklessness?" Flitwick shook his head.

"No, Severus. I am rewarding them for bravery and dedication to their friends." Snape simply snarled and limped off, a fact that was not missed by Harry. He watched the red stain on the Potion Master's robe as he left the scene carefully, glimpsing the bite marks for a brief moment.

Flitwick turned to them.

"Well, if you're all alright, then I believe you should head back to the Ravenclaw dormitory and clean up, hmm?" Harry nodded, as did Matt and Luna. They quickly and silently left the bathroom.

On the way back, Harry addressed Matt.

"How's the heart?" Matt grinned and produced it from beneath his robes. It was a bit wet, and purple blood was oozing off of it. Matt quickly concealed it beneath his robes again. It was as big as Harry's head. Harry nodded. "So what next?"

Matt cocked his head in thought. "Well, the Moonshade plat will be easy. A couple of disillusionment charms, a late night, and we'll have it no problem. We'll likely have to steal the boomslang skin, though."

"From who?"

"Snape." Harry smirked.

"Excellent."

They were well on their way to becoming Animagi.

The weeks after the troll incident were hectic, to say the least. Somehow, word had gotten out that the brother of the BWL, a transfer student and a social outcast had somehow managed to save a student and decapitate a troll.

Needless to say, they had garnered a good deal of attention.

"I swear to God, if one more person asks what the troll looked like, I'm going to show them what he looked like as a corpse. Through first hand experience." Harry growled out, shooting a glare at a few classmates who were attempted to sneak up on him and jump him for a autograph. They scattered.

Matt sighed next to him. "I know what you mean. Yesterday, one of them asked for a autograph in troll blood. How the HELL am I supposed to give them a autograph in troll blood? Do they think I saved some or something?" He snorted in disgust.

"Well, this kind of thing is very rare at Hogwarts. You have to expect them to be exited." Luna seemed to shine in the attention. Just the other day, she had been nearly mobbed by boys who wanted a date with her. Honestly, a date? Did they think blowing off a troll's head was hot? This had bothered Harry greatly, though he wasn't able to explain why.

This was most certainly NOT what Harry had wanted. It had supposed to be simple. Get in, kill the troll, get the heart, and get to the dormitory, no questions asked. Now, they were under the eye of practically every eye in Hogwarts. He did not want this.

To top it off, Harry had gotten a Howler from his parents. It had not been pretty. They practically cussed him out in front of the whole Ravenclaw Quiddich Team. Harry was blessedly grateful that Hedwig had been delayed in getting it to him, since Harry had been in the Library at breakfast. He was also extremely lucky that the team had quarantined any rumors or mentions of it getting out.

It was completely unfair. Harry would have reckoned they wouldn't have sent a Howler if it was Henry who killed the troll.

Speaking of large fat dumb creatures, Henry had been released from the Hospital Wing. Needless to say, he had been a very unhappy little camper when he heard what had occurred. His version was basically this.

1) Harry knocked him into the wall at the Quiddich Stadium in front of everyone because he was about to catch the Snitch.

2) Harry then proceeded to discredit him in front of all of Hogwarts

3) Harry had broken his Firebolt, never mind that it was utterly impossible to do on purpose.

4) Harry had killed the troll as a way of trying to get attention

All of which were sent to dear old mum and dad at home, which resulted in Harry receiving a second Howler, one which Harry barely managed to rush to a bathroom and smother, using a toilet and several silencing charms he most certainly shouldn't know in first year. Basically, they were furious, and they were going to punish him when he got home.

Harry almost snorted at that. Punish him? With what? Take away his allowance? What allowance? Were they going to ground him? Another useless punishment. He never went anywhere anyway. Also, all he did was read in his room, go down to eat, go to the loo, and sleep. All of which were things they could not restrict.

So Harry was basically off the hook.

Matt had locked up the troll heart, right in the place he normally did so. Even Harry didn't know where the hell it was, that meaned. He had looked as giddy as a kindergartener in a candy shop. He hadn't stopped giggling for a week.

The boomslang skin had been relatively easy to steal. One dungbomb plopped under Henry's desk, a disillusionment charm, and a few added ingredients to a potion that was supposed to be a boil curing created a situation that spelled absolute chaos. Matt had slipped in and out of the office so fast that he might have caught a smattering of the flying now boil creating potion if he were not so quick.

As a added bonus, Snape had blamed Henry for the whole thing, augmented by the fact that the dungbomb had come from under his desk and the ingredients had been taken from his supply. Griffindor had lost a good chunk of points, and Snape was none the wiser about his missing skin. Or at least, he had no way to connect it to them.

So now, tonight was a full moon, and they were heading into the Forbidden Forest to collect the Moonshade plant.  
>"Ouch! Damn tree root..."<p>

"Shut up, Matt. Or do you want someone to hear us?"

"Who's going to hear us out here? It IS the Forbidden Forest. No one would be dumb enough to come out here alone."

"Except us."

"Yep, Except u-hey, waitaminute-!"

"Shut up!"

Harry stepped over another large, knotted tree root, and sighed at his choice of partner. He knew that he would need Matt to successfully identify and extract the plant, but Merlin, he was so loud sometimes!

Matt, meanwhile, was acting even worse then when got the Troll heart. He had brought along a huge potato sack, and was stopping every ten seconds to pluck a plant, root or God knows what off of the floor of the Forest. It was very tedious. He had this look on his face, this rapturous look that Harry normally associated with someone getting their brains snogged out. He saw it on most girls who stumbled out of broom closets in Hogwarts, followed shortly by their grinning boyfriends. It was thoroughly creepy on Matt's face.

Harry sighed and stopped again, and Matt stopped to pluck a small assortment of monkshood, before a he heard a very chilling sound. It sounded like chilling laughter mixed with a obscene slurping sound that curdled Harry's blood. Matt heard it too. They both looked at each other, before quickly drawing their wands. They crept over to where they heard the sound, and were greeted by a sight of horror.

A black cloaked figure was hunched over a fallen unicorn, obviously eating it, or from the sounds of it, drinking it. Harry's blood turned to ice, and he quickly pointed his wand at the figure.

"Reducto!" Harry bellowed, quickly followed by a Stunner by Matt. The figure turned around, hissing.

The two spells bowled into it, knocking it back a good ten feet. To both the boy's amazement, it simply picked itself up like it was nothing, before quickly loping off into the woods, hissing and spitting. Harry kept his wand trained on the direction it disappeared to a good ten seconds before he hurried over to help the unicorn, like Matt had done.

"Shit...it's losing a lot of blood. Harry!" Matt snapped his gaze to him. The unicorn whinnied pitifully. Harry quickly went to attention. "Apply pressure on this wound!" Harry nodded, and took his place pushing the wound on the unicorn's stomach. Matt moved over, and suddenly did the strangest thing.

He cupped up some of the blood falling from the wound, and brought it to the unicorn's lips. The beast stopped whinnying and began drinking. It disgusted Harry somewhat, until a abnormality with the wound he was pressing took his attention. He looked, and to his shock, found the wound already half-closed, and still closing rapidly, a small line of silver glow closing it up like a zipper.

Three seconds later, the wound was utterly gone, the only evidence being the caked silver blood on their hands and on the unicorn's stomach. The unicorn struggled and got to it's feet. It nuzzled both of them affectionately. Matt seemed utterly unfazed.

"Right, would you mind showing us where we could find some Moonshade plant?" The unicorn snorted, and trotted, swinging it's head back at them. "Follow you? You got it." Harry shrugged, and followed Matt's lead.

About fifteen minutes later, the unicorn stopped.

Harry looked around. They were in a tiny copse, where the moon was able to shine through the dense foliage. The beam of moonlight hit a spot directly under a large tree. In the secluded beam there was a small growth of silvery leafed plants. Matt hurried forward and began plucking them.

Matt stood up, and nodded to the unicorn. "Thank you."

Instead of answering, the unicorn clopped up to Matt, before quickly swinging in a half circle, swishing it's tail very high while doing so. It completed the spin, and settled to rest.

Three hairs were floating down where it had whipped it's tail. The unicorn reared on it's hind legs and gave a final whinny, before galloping off into the forest's darkness. Matt quickly grasped the hairs out of the air, then stood holding them as if they were his first child. Harry stared at him.

"What?" He asked inquisitively. Matt turned to look at him, his eyes wide.

"Harry...these are unicorn hairs, freely given! Do you know what that means?" Seeing Harry's blank look, he continued. "They have magical cores! They are extremely powerful! Most people seldom get one per unicorn, and that's per lifetime! Three hairs, that's unheard of!" He turned his head back to look at the hairs. Matt's hands were actually trembling. "Jesus..."

Harry nodded impatiently. "Yes, yes, that's all well and good, but you can drool over them later. I'd rather not have to test how far disillusionment charms will protect us in this forest." Matt snapped out his stupor, and nodded. He quickly joined Harry, as they trudged carefully out of the forest.  
>Matt was positively giddy the next morning.<p>

He had leapt out of bed, in a manner that had Harry almost sure he would be shouting 'It's Christmas!' like phrases to the whole castle. Instead, he got a scary grin on his face, and sped off, without even stopping to acknowledge Harry.

Neither Harry nor Luna saw eye or ear of him until around Lunch. They had needed to vouch for him in most of the classes, citing reasons such as he was feeling a little under the weather. It had been very unnerving.

Finally, Matt showed up at lunch, grinning like a loon. Harry practically pulled him over by the front of his robes.

"Where have you been?!" Harry hissed. Matt's face didn't even flicker.

"Making the potion. It'll be ready by midnight. We just need to chug it down, have a watcher, and say the incantations, then POOF! Animagi." Harry sat back, mollified, for the most part. Then he heard a certain part again.

"Wait, watchers?" Matt nodded.

"Yeah, that means we'll have to do it one at a time."

"Why?" Matt sighed.

"Look, okay...The Animagi potion is a very tricky piece of work. It basically shoves open the door to your inner beast, unlocks it, so to say. When it happens, you get one glimpse, just one mind you, and then it's up to you to force the change again, because then the door swings shut. The thing is, if you don't have a watcher, you have no idea what you are, and the Animagi potion is a one time thing. And if you have no idea what you are, then you have no idea what mood will force the change, or what kind of creature to envision when you want to transform. People who don't have watchers can sometimes go their whole lives with out ever finding out what their form is. So that's what I mean when watchers are essential." Harry nodded.

"So, tonight?" Matt grinned wolfishly.

"Tonight."  
>Harry sat back on his heels, stumped. So this was where Matt was hiding all of his crap!<p>

The girl's bathroom! Who would have thunk it?

The bathroom was utterly uninhabited, considering all the toilets were clogged. Of course, there was the matter of the ghost dwelling in the place, one Moaning Myrtle, who spent most of her time lamenting her existence and crying. It turned out that the place was very useful for hiding things, considering that no one ever came here, and Matt had used a chisel, some illusionment and blasting charms to hollow out a large niche in the wall and conceal it. Harry's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw the amount of odd ingredients Matt had stockpiled. How the hell had he managed to get the troll's skin, as well? It had been lying there, too, looking like long strips of worn leather. Matt had not answered and simply smiled silently at Harry and Luna.

Harry shivered slightly. Matt was the king of creepy smiles.

Sitting in the middle of the bathroom was a large cauldron, bubbling and smoking mysteriously. It was filled with black, murky liquid, that looked as thick as molasses. Luna had nearly vomited when she volunteered to take a sniff of it. Needless to say, Harry was not looking forward to drinking it.

Matt had already divvied it up into three large goblets. He was sitting there with the most shiteating grin on his face. Harry almost felt like joining him. Luna looked to be shivering with anticipation.

"Right...how should we do this?" Matt voiced aloud. Luna raised a hand.

"We should take turns. One person takes the potion, then the other two watch." Harry nodded. Luna raised her goblet meekly. "I'll go first?" She did not look happy. She brought her goblet to her lips, when Harry hastily held up a hand. Luna stopped.

"Wait. We should go outside. We have no idea what our forms'll be, or how big they'll be. There's no telling what could happen if we try to do it inside this crowded bathroom." Matt and Luna nodded in agreement, before Myrtle happened to interrupt.

"Ooooh, I see how it is. You just want to keep it a secret from me? From sneaking, fibbing Myrtle?" Harry sighed and kneaded his temples as Myrtle went off into another sobbing fit, before disappearing through the U-Bend?. Harry tried to ignore it.

"Let's just go..."  
>Fifteen minutes and seven flights of stairs later, they were outside on the grass, giddy with anticipation. Luna stepped forward, her wand out.<p>

Luna downed the goblet. From the grimacing and gagging noises she was making, Harry and Matt would not enjoy the drink. She dropped the goblet with a cough, gasping and gagging. She finally raised her wand, and pointed it at her heart.

"Promptus mei veritus formliei!" She managed to get out. She started glowing. Then, she raised her wand to her temple, and completed the ritual.

"Animatiate!"

Luna suddenly hunched over, gritting her teeth. Pure light streamed from every pore in her body. Her mouth opened in a 'O' shape, light streaming out of there as well.

Harry and Matt kept their eyes trained on her the entire time, wearing the goggles they had procured at Harry's suggestion. They fought not to blink, their eyes watering.

Suddenly, she flashed, and a form was visible for a brief second before she slumped to the ground, exhausted. She turned to the boys, who were taking their goggles off.

"Well?" She asked hoarsely.

"I saw a tail, and some stripes. Definitely quadropedal. Feline, if I'm not mistaken." Harry said. Matt grinned.

"I got it. Snow leopard. I saw one at a zoo once." Luna nodded. She shut her eyes briefly, scrunching her face up in concentration.

Suddenly, she morphed, her arms and legs growing silvery fur, before a fully grown snow leopard stood before them, tail swishing. Some features carried over, like Luna's inquisitive silver blue eyes. She morphed back, grinning.

"It's easier than it sounds." She admitted. "Does feel a tad odd, though." She got up, and sat over by by the boys. Matt practically leaped forward, wand in hand.

"Me next!" Matt almost yelled. Harry shrugged and sat back. The longer he could put off that potion, the better.

Matt downed the potion in nearly a single gulp, for a wonder, barely grimacing at all. He was quite out of breath at the end, however.

"Promptus mei formliei veritus!" Matt moved his wand quickly, as bits of light began to show. "Animatiate!"

Matt's transformation was much more profound. He dropped to his knees, letting out a hoarse yell, before grabbing his head in his hands, before the light overtook his figure. A large dark form replaced him for a moment, before he was left on the ground, panting.

"Holy shit!" He gasped out. "Luna, how did you deal with that?" Luna cocked her head.

"Deal with what?"

"That pain! Jesus!" Luna frowned.

"Pain, I didn't feel anything like that. I felt really uncomfortable, like I was being stretched a lot, but otherwise, nothing." Matt glared at her.

"Lucky. I felt like I was having my intestines removed with aneedle nose plyers!" He sat back, his panting mostly subsiding. "So what was I?"

Harry was the first to answer. "I know it was avian, but it was pretty damn huge."

"Can you be more specific? There's plenty big birds around." Harry shook his head.

"No, I mean huge. Like Hagrid's hut huge." Matt grinned.

"Magical, then. Anything else?"

Luna piped in. "You had black feathers. A hooked beak, too. Oh, and the scariest eyes I've ever seen. I can't even remember the color, I was so scared. I nearly wet myself." All of this said with a utterly calm voice.

Matt nodded. "Good, that'll narrow it down a good bit. Black feathers, fear inducing eyes, big as a house. I already picked up a few books on magical birds, since I figured I would be one. Your turn, Harry."

Harry nodded, and stepped up. He brought his goblet to his lips and drank.

With the first drop on his tongue, he could understand why Luna had gagged. Here's an idea of the taste. Add spoiled milk, troll bogies, goblin shit, and 1000 dead rotting corpses. Then add Hagrid's jock strap. That's what it tasted like.

Wiping his lips, and trying not to taste the bile rising in his throat, he pointed his wand at his heart, and clearly intoned,

"Promptus mei formliei veritus."

Harry's wand slowly trailed up to his temple as several thoughts trailed through his head. Some of them being, will this hurt, what would his form be, and will the Chudley Cannons ever win a game?

His wand reached his temple.

"Animatiate!"

And then Harry knew pain.

Harry was in a world of pain. No, scratch that. A world of pain was in Harry, had been destroyed by a miniature Armageddon, then had had a big painful Big Bang, and been created again. Inside Harry. Harry screamed, his eyes clawing at his face.

Suddenly, his veins turned to ice, and he felt as though he sat at the bottom of the Arctic in the heart of winter. Harry's body did not shiver. It was frozen solid.

Suddenly, the sensations collapsed like backdrops around him. Stars danced through his vision, and he could feel hands shaking him.

"What...was I?" He mumbled out. Harry's vision cleared, revealing his two friends. They looked quite worried.

Matt looked at Luna, before answering.

"Merlin...I don't know Harry, but it was fucking BIG! I mean, like Hungarian Horntail on hind legs. Jesus Fucking H Christ! I wish I could have got a better look at it, but..." Harry raised a eyebrow.

"How could you not get a look at it?" Now it was Matt's turn to raise a eyebrow. He raised his arm.

The entire sleeve was frozen stiff. There were actually a few icicles hanging off of it. Harry gaped openly. Luna tried to explain.

"Harry, when you transformed...you kind of exploded. Not like heat explosion, but like, you blew this huge wall of just...bloody cold wind. Look around you."

Harry looked.

All around him was ice. It looked like there had been a cryogenic explosion. There was ice on the grass, ice covering some of the far trees. Hell, he could see his breath a little!

"Merlin...I did this?" Harry breathed, a wispy vapor escaping his lips. Luna nodded. Harry got up, brushing ice crystals off of his robe. He looked around a little more.

He was also standing in a knee deep depression. It was a very strange mark, a sort of circular spiral. To top it off, the depression was pure ice. The three carefully picked their way out of the hole, slipping a little on the ice.

"Well," Matt piped up. "-Look on the bright side. At least there can't be many things that hug-Jesus! Harry!" Harry turned around, alarmed.

"What? What!?"

"Your hair!" Harry felt his hair. It felt a little stiff on top, but otherwise fine. "Look, use the ice!" Harry picked his way over to a stray icy slab, and kneeled down.

His hair had been dyed blue, icy blue, the entire top of his head, extending in the back a bit, with divided spikes. Also, several horizontal spikes went around and tucked behind his ears.

In addition, Harry raised a hesitant finger to his eyes. They were no longer green, now being a deep, icy blue.

"Damn...did it say anything about this in the book?" Harry turned around to face Matt, and faced another shock. "Matt...your eyes are yellow." Matt started back, raising a hand to his eyes. His amber eyes glowed eerily in the dark night.

"Really?" Matt took a seat next to Harry. He inspected his new visage. "Huh...cool. Nope, nothing in the book about this. Maybe it's because we were magical creatures, or because we did it so young. Who knows?" Matt shrugged.

Harry was still staring at his new look. "It matters. How'r we going to explain this to the professors? Glamours won't work. I can pass off my hair as a fashion statement, but people don't just flip eye colors." Matt patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. I've got a answer. Sunglasses." Harry looked at him askance.

"And you think the professors aren't going to find us wearing sunglasses to every class a tad out of place?" Harry asked tartly. Matt smiled, and shook his head.

"No, but I do know they can't do a thing about it. There's no dress code at Hogwarts other than 'wear robes'. It'll be fine." Harry was doubtful, but decided to pursue it another day.

Back by the depression, Luna was pouting.

"Why can't I have any pretty eye colors like you two?" Matt grinned at her.

"I guess we're just cooler than you." Matt said snarkily. Luna suddenly got a scary look in her eye. Harry sighed.

"You might want to run." Matt turned to him, confused.

"Really? Why?" Harry gestured at Luna.

"Because while we may have...'pretty eye colors', she...-"

"-Is the only one able to change." Luna finished cooly, before morphing into her snow leopard form. Matt gulped. Harry smirked.

"Run, rabbit."

And Matt ran. To his credit, he got about ten feet before Luna got him. Matt squirmed around, trying to get the 280 pounds of pure feline power off of him. Then, he went utterly still as Luna put one clawed paw next to his neck.

"Hey L-luna..." Matt chuckled weakly. "Y-you know I-I was j-just k-k-kidding about that 'we're cooler than you' thing, right?" The claw didn't move. "Luna?" Harry just laughed.

The week after the transformation had been very stressful, to say the least.

The teachers had immediately went up in arms about the sunglasses and new looks. It had taken Matt with a Hogwarts A History open to the rules in nearly every class to get the glasses to fly. Flitwick had let them go with it, being delighted to indulge 'Young, hip attitude' as he put it. He even tried sunglasses for himself.

Of course, he stopped after the time he accidentally charmed Draco Malfoy into growing a third eye. He, of course, was very apologetic afterwards.

Harry's hair had attracted a great deal of attention, as well. He had sweated a great deal when people started asking what kind of dye he used to get such a pure color. Luna had saved him.

"Well, this is a magical school! What other dye would he use than MAGICAL dye, huh?" She stared at the crowd of people who now felt very stupid.

They had stopped asking after that.

Of course, this had not stopped other problems. As soon as Henry had gotten wind of Harry's new style, he had dyed his own hair, determined not to be shown up. He had given himself a sort of red gold mane down the center of his head. This, of course, had immediately been a instant hit.

Harry had only sighed and ignored it. If his brother wanted more attention, let him have it. Harry would be perfectly happy not being in the spotlight.  
>The Quiddich matches had been going just about the same since the first. Ravenclaw was shoe in to win the Cup.<p>

Harry was quickly changing out of his sapphire robes, after crushing Gryffindor once again. Henry's broom had started bucking halfway through the match, and Dumbledore had called it, and rescheduled another, even though Harry had had the Snitch in hand when he did so. Most of the Ravenclaws were furious, of course, and most of the school had not taken the call very well.

On the bright side, Snape's robes had somehow caught fire, leaving Harry in a slight cheer.

So Harry was about to leave the locker-room, when a large man entered. He was wearing a large black greatcoat, fur lined, along with long dark pants and boots. His hair was cut short, and was turning somewhat silver on each side. He pulled off his leather gloves, and offered his hand to Harry.

"You're Harry, right? I'm David Cooke, Matt's dad." Harry relaxed, and shook the man's hand. He gave a kind smile. "Matt's waiting outside. Let's go join him."

Matt was loitering outside the lockeroom, absentmindedly toying with his wand. He seemed to looking for a way to curse one of the passing Gryffindors, from the way his wand was sizzling black sparks, and the dark looks he was shooting them. He quickly pocketed it when his father came into view. David caught it anyway.

The man sighed. "I'm just as annoyed about the match as you, Mattie-Moe?, but that's no reason to start spelling the innocents. It was Dumbledore who made the call." Harry made a Herculean effort to contain his laughter at the nickname. Matt just shrugged.

"Whatever. I'm glad you made it to the match, though." David smiled paternally, before putting his arm around Matt's shoulder.

"Of course. Now, how'd you like those brooms I sent you?" Matt's face immediately brightened, and he began listing all the pro's of the Thor his father sent him. Harry just walked along silently beside them, content to watch them. Internally, he was watching with the smallest bit of envy.

Would it have been possible to be like that his father? Granted, he wanted nothing to do with the man now, having seen his true nature, but if he was more like Matt's father? Wistfully, he glanced at the pair beside him. It would have been...nice , he supposed, to have that as he grew up. Someone to send him gifts, to hold him up.

Brusquely, he shook off the remorse that had gripped his throat. He did not need them. Not now.

David turned to Harry, his face one of animate interest.

"And how about the Loki?" He questioned amiably. Harry donned a polite smile.

"It is fabulous, better than anything the school could ever provide. Thank you." He was suprised when David clapped him lightly on the shoulder, chuckling lightly.

"Don't be a stranger now. How do you feel about it?" Harry dropped the polite mask, and ventured forth hesitantly.

"When I'm on it, it feels like..like it's not even there. Like it's just me flying up there. It's a very free feeling." Matt's father let out a loud guffaw, and Harry stared at him in surprise.

"What?" David wiped a slight tear from the corner of his eye as he tried to stem his chuckling.

"The Norwegian Seeker, Isaac Wardenburg, uses the same model as you, as you well know. When they interviewed him after his first ride on the broom, well...Harry, you just mimicked what he said, right down to the expression on your face." The company president finally got a hold of himself, mastering his humor. He reached into his coat, and pulled out a small brown package, about the size of a large dictionary. He handed it to Matt, who looked perplexed. "This is actually another reason I came here."

"Dad left that in his inheritance to you." David explained. Matt's face took on a suprised look, and he tore the package open. Inside, was a small black lacquered box. Matt's hands fumbled on the unfamiliar clasp and pulled it open. Inside, lay a wand, on top of quite a few dusty looking journals. Matt looked poleaxed. and even David seemed taken aback. Matt's hand swiped the wand out of the box, and held it to light.

The wand was almost entirely black, the handle being wrapped in what Harry believed looked like dragon hide. The wand also incorporated a hand guard, made out of a strange white wood Harry had not seen before. In addition, the wand itself was made out a curling, smooth looking substance Harry could not help but recognize from somewhere. He frowned, trying to coax the information that was tickling the edge of his mind.

Meanwhile, the father and son were BUSY being amazed.

"Jesus..." Matt ran a hand through his brown hair. "It's grandpa's wand. I thought he was going to destroy this." David was similarly shocked. He began pawing through the journals in the box, opening them briefly before putting them down with a stunned look.

"And those, if I'm not mistaken, are his secret crafting techniques. I thought he would have a apprentice!" David seemed quite dumbstruck, before smiling and patting his son on the shoulder. "Well, if he left them to you, he obviously trusted you a great deal. Make sure you honor that." Matt swallowed and nodded.

David rolled up the sleeve of his coat to reveal a watch, before smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Damn, look at the time! Those interns filling in must be crying out for me." He smiled, before ruffling his son on the head fondly, something that elicited a grunt of annoyance from the boy. "It was nice meeting you, Harry. Nice seeing you too, son. Gotta go!"

David pulled out a very ornate golden pen, and clicked the top of it. Then he disappeared. Harry looked at the spot he had previously occupied with a visage of confusion. Matt noticed, and explained.

"Special goblin made portkey. Works for anywhere." Harry nodded. Goblin magic was still a jealously guarded secret among them. Matt was still looking at the wand in awe. "Damn...I can't believe this. Grandpa gave me his wand. Christ..."

"What's so special about his wand?" Harry asked. Matt looked at him like he was a idiot, before opting to explain.

"Grandpa was a wand-crafter, like you heard. His wands were positively legendry, for the fact that he somehow managed to create the most powerful wands in existence while simultaneously doing something that is considered to be by most wand crafters impossible. This wand-" Matt waved it at him."-has multiple cores."

Harry snorted. "I know practically nothing about wands, but even I know that can't be done. The cores would overload, and go out of control." Matt shook his head. He brought the wand and placed it on his palm, turning it slowly.

"Look. The core was a phoenix feather. These-" Matt pointed to the strings binding the dragon hide."-are dragon heartstrings, intertwined with unicorn hairs. Uh huh." He said, seeing Harry's shocked look. "they have magical cores, as you well know. This-" He pointed to the white wood of the handguard."-is elder wood. It's a very rare wood that only grows in the coldest of places. Also contains a magical core." He ran his hand along the shaft. "-And this is the biggest marvel. Black unicorn horn." Harry was perplexed.

"Black? Unicorn horns are white." Matt shook his head.

"That's only regular unicorns. The unicorns travel in packs, and whoever the pack leader is, turns completely black, right up to their horn. It's a sign of dominance. I'm not suprised you haven't heard, very few ever see a unicorn alpha, since they are the most secretive of the entire pack. Anyway, black unicorn horns are EXTREMELY rare. I've heard they go for several million galleons on the market, because they are nearly ten times as potent as regular unicorn horns, and three times as powerful." Harry looked at the wand with new respect. "Yeah. that's right. Do you have any idea how many wand crafters would kill to get what's in this box?" Harry now ran his hand through his hair.

"Damn. So what are you going to do with this? Sell it?" Harry nearly backed up when Matt whipped off his glasses and gave him a furious look that should have burned him to a crisp where he stood.

Suddenly, unnatural fear drenched his senses, and Harry choked and went down on one knee, one hand grasping at his throat as the fear rendered his lungs paralyzed. Matt noticed and instantly stopped glaring, a worried look crossing his face. Harry gasped with relief and began taking huge lungfuls of air in. Matt grasped Harry on the shoulder, helping him up. Harry noticed something on the way up.

"Matt...Matt, your eyes are glowing. It's really creepy." The boy hesitantly felt at his eyes. He turned to Harry.

"What do you think happened?" Harry rubbed his chin with one hand, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Well...maybe you can use your eyes regularly like the animal you transform into. Your anger likely triggered it. Maybe if I forced some magic to my eyes..." Harry doffed his sunglasses and concentrated on a patch of grass near Matt's feet, trying to will his magic somehow to his eyes.

Suddenly, the tips of the blades began accumulating frost, and in the span of about thirty seconds, the patch slowly turned to pure ice. Harry let go of whatever he was doing, and instantly felt as if he had taken a quick jog around the lake. Harry breathed a little quicker than normal. He smirked. This opened a lot of possibities.

"Interesting..." Matt pouted a little.

"Well fuck! You get to ice the shit out of stuff, and Luna gets to claw the shit out of stuff. All I get is to scare the shit out of stuff." Harry shook his head.

"No, think about it. We might be able to adjust our levels of power. While that would be relatively useless for me unless I wanted to cool a drink, you might be able to adjust your gaze from 'terrifying' to just 'dominating', something that used correctly could work a bit like the Imperious curse." Matt looked suprised, then smirked.

"Awesome. Scare the shit out of stuff, AND mind-control the shit out of stuff." Harry shook his head.

"No. More like nudge people in directions. Think Jedi Mind Trick, just a lot less powerful." Matt shrugged.

"Works for me." Harry ventured hesitantly back to the previous subject.

"So what ARE you going to do with those?" Matt was a lot calmer now.

"I'm not selling them, that's for sure. For one, I'm using this wand from now on. My old wand looks like horseshit compared to this baby. As for the journals, well, I think the Cooke wands are going to start springing up again, if I have anything to say about it. And I'm going to start with your wand." Harry was suprised.

"Really? Why mine?" Matt looked pointedly at him.

"You said it was meant for your brother, right? Then a real wand, a Cooke wand, will catapult your power like nothing you've ever seen before. Think of your magic like a bomb, and the wand as like coordinates. The closer the coordinates are to exact, the more damage is DONE right? Similarly, if the coordinates are off by a lot, as in not attuned to you, then half the magic put into a spell is wasted, or half the blast of the bomb goes off course."

"Now a regular wand has one core, right? But a Cooke wand, well...If one core channels the power, then having multiple cores magnifies the power. That's why Cooke wands are so awesome."

Harry was struck dumb by the sheer importance of a wand. Certainly, he knew spells were better and more focused by them, but this? "It'll really make me that better?"

Matt let out a snort. "Harry, if magic is a bomb, then you are a nuke. You have about triple the amount of magic of any of the students in our grade, even most of the second years. Once I make you a proper Cooke wand...Christ. You'll be a fucking hydrogen bomb. I shudder to think of what you'll be like when you grow up. Harry Potter, then you'll be fucking Armageddon on two legs."

The two lapsed into silence. Harry finally broke it.

"So...Mattie-moe?"

"Shut up."  
>The week after was spent with the two of them trying to get their newfound powers under control. Harry found great pleasure in freezing his brother's pumpkin juice just as he brought it to his lips, so all that Henry did was hit himself in the face with a large block of ice, since Harry neglected to freeze the sides. Harry also found great pleasure in randomly freezing his food, so that all Henry got when he bit was sore teeth. Henry had been reduced to tenderly nibbling each piece before enthusiastically biting it. At which point Harry promptly froze it again. What joy.<p>

Similarly, Matt was having a smashing time getting his fear power under control. And when he did, well...Matt certainly got a lot of attention. A lot of female attention, that is. Matt had somehow mastered his art to the point where a simple glance in her eyes and a charming smile could make just about any girl sigh. Matt certainly went through quite a few girlfriends a week.

Although, he did get a black eye when he tried it on Luna to make her do his homework in Charms, since she had already heard about it and had thrown it off like a shoddy comforter. It seemed that strong wills could ignore it, as Matt had tested it on him with his consent. The creepy thing was that he was able to get more dates with a black eye, since the pity factor rose his chances.

It had been quite a disconcerting experience, to say the least. When Matt used it and suggested that Harry hop on one leg, Harry had to really concentrate to actually catch himself from doing it, as his leg had started rising a bit.

The rescheduled match had just as planned, with Gryffindor being crushed yet again at a score of 150 to 0, since Harry had gotten lucky and spotted the Snitch thirty seconds into the game. Henry hadn't had a chance. Ravenclaw had won the Quiddich Cup. Harry still chuckled occasionally about the anticlimaticity of it.

The end of year was approaching soon. All three had their noses to the grindstone, and were studying furiously for the end of year exams. None of them believed the exaggerated Horror stories upper classmen told them about the OWLs and NEWTs (Really, who would classify wrestling with a ogre a test of wizarding progress?), but it never hurt to be sure.

So Harry and Luna were dutifully going over and testing each other in the library.

"Aconite, also known as...?"

"Monkshood or wolfsbane. Movement for Wingardium Leviosa?"

"Swish and flick. Third Goblin War-"

"Yo! Yo, Harry, Luna!" The two turned in surprise, seeing their friend jogging up to them. Madam Pince gave him a fierce glare, before sniffing and returning to cataloguing the books.

"What?" Matt gave them a saucy grin.

"There's something you'd like to see. Especially you, Harry." Interest piqued, Harry consented to be led, followed by Luna at his side, who looked quite annoyed at having their study time interrupted.

Around fifteen minutes later, Matt held up a hand to stop. He pointed at a door, which Harry abruptly realized was the forbidden third corridor door. Harry was perplexed.

"So what? It's the forbidden corridor door. Big deal." Matt shook his head, still grinning.

"Look closely. What else is it?" Harry squinted at it, but could not for the life of him find anything out of the ordinary about the door.

"I give up. What?" Matt let out a brief low pitched giggle, thoroughly wierding out both his companions.

"It's not the forbidden corridor door. It's the slightly ajar forbidden corridor door. Which means...?" Harry still couldn't get why it was so important.

"Enlighten me." Matt sighed and rubbed his forehead in exasperation. He pointed at the door.

"That door was locked. Now it is open. What. Does. That. Mean?" He sounded as if he were trying to explain something to a child, and it quite peeved Harry.

"Don't patronize me. Get to the point." Matt gave him a indignant look, then sighed.

"It means that someone here unlocked it. Since I'm willing to bet that no one here knows how to pick a lock, that means someone did it magically. And since the teachers are the ones who forbid going in there, that means it is a student. And the only student dumb enough to go into a corridor specifically warned against by the teachers is..." It dawned on Harry.

"Henry." Matt grinned, and Harry matched him. His friend was truly evil. In the very best way.

"Bingo. Now, suppose someone accidentally saw him going in. Well, you heard the Headmaster. We wouldn't want one of our classmates to die a horrible and painful death, would we?" Seeing Harry open his mouth, he raised a hand. "Actually, don't answer that. Anyway, since we are filled with concern for our classmate's well being, we would naturally let a teacher know that one of our classmates is in danger. And it would be especially dedicated if we made sure the teacher was one that was filled with concern for said student as well, savvy?" Harry smiled. There was one logical explanation.

"Snape. Matt, you are truly a fiend of highest proportions." Matt just bowed exaggeratedly.

"My pleasure to serve. Now then, let's find our greasy, Potter-hating friend and inform him of our tender worries." The boy's laughter echoed in the corridors. Peeves the Poltergeist would have been proud.  
>The next day, the three waited expectantly in the Great Hall. It was the last day, and the Hall was resplendent in Ravenclaw banners, the blue and bronze making it very clear who had won the House Cup. Both boys were grinning smugly at a properly executed prank of epic proportions. There was positively no way that Henry would be able to I-Have-A-Curse-Scar? himself out of this one. He was well and truly buggered.<p>

When the boys and Luna had told Snape of Henry's misgressions, his face assumed what Harry believed would be his expression had he received a debt from each Potter for their first born son to privately torture for the next ten generations. He quickly headed off, but not before awarding points.

Yep. He had awarded points to Ravenclaw. Right to Harry's face. Harry would not have been more suprised had Dumbledore arrived and gave him his entire lemon drop collection.

The boys, not simply satisfied with telling him, quickly went off to take a good seat at the forbidden corridor's entrance, while Luna, not simply satisfied with telling only Snape, went to tell McGonagell? as well, a close second in the worst person to tell about this sort of thing. Harry had no doubt the stern woman had verbally and emotionally eviscerated the boy he called brother. Harry almost felt sorry, before remembering who exactly he had just condemned, and felt smug again.

So the boys had had prime seats to watch, as the two professors stayed down there for nearly a hour, before starting to bring up casualties. First came Ron Weasley, one of Henry's groupies, with large bruises and keys sticking out of his body. Still breathing, though. Then came Hermione Granger, with bits of scorched Devil's Snare still hanging off her body. Unconscious, but alive.

Then came the strange ones. Henry came out, on a stretcher, with the words THIEF written in angry boils across his face, and in addition, his skin tone had turned utterly green. Then, the biggest surprise came with Professor Quirrell, who came out with the back of his turban, and head, utterly blown open. Harry had turned a little green at the sight, and Matt had not fared much better. Needless to say, they both quickly vacated the scene.

Something big had gone down in the forbidden corridor, but unlike a foolish Gryffindor or a ambitious Slytherin, they were not too keen on finding out what. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, and this was one of those times. The only thing they WERE sure about was that there was no way Henry was getting out of this Scot free.

Dumbledore got up from his seat at the end of the Great Hall, tapping his glass with his wand, projecting the sound to the whole hall. The chatting students quieted momentarily, and everyone turned their eyes on him.

"Alas, another year had come to an end, with our heads filled to near bursting with knowledge, and having us leaving this place with a great feeling of contentment. However, I think the majority of your young faces are eager not for my old, dry words, but rather for the announcement of the House Cup." His grandfatherly smile surveyed the eager smiles covering the majority of the faces. "Oh, very well."

"In fourth place, we have Hufflepuff, with three hundred eighty points. In third, we have Gryffindor with four hundred thirty points. In second, we have Slytherin with five hundred ten points. And in first, we have Ravenclaw, with five hundred forty points." The Ravenclaw table exploded into whoops and cheers, followed by polite clapping from the other tables.

"But." This soft syllable quieted everyone, drawing their eyes back to to the old wizard. He smiled. "I believe there are some last minute points to be dealt." This got everyone's attention immediately.

"Fifty points, to Henry Potter, for a show of bravery nigh unheard of in this day and age." Harry felt like he had been kicked in the nuts. Bravery? "Twenty five point to Ronald Weasley for excellent deduction skills and a smashing game of chess." A game of chess? Had Dumbledore gone senile? "Twenty-five points to Hermione Granger, for knowledge of spells and herbology quite rare for her age." Right. Next time Harry wanted to shine, should he bloody scorch his skin off? He glared at the old man. Dumbledore wouldn't dare. Most of the tables were already glaring at him. Would he?

"And finally, fifteen points to Neville Longbottom, because it takes great courage to stand up to a enemy, but even greater to stand up to one's friends."

The hall exploded into chaos.

"This is BULLSHIT!" Matt screamed, a sentiment mirrored by many of the Ravenclaws beside him. Insults flew between the tables, mostly aimed at the Gryffindor table. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The whole hall seemed ready to explode into violence as Dumbledore and the teachers desperately tried to calm the students.

Then, the absolute worst luck, most Murphy's Law thing occurred. The Great Hall doors burst open, revealing Henry Potter with a cheery smile. He waved to the many students who had turned silent and were now staring at him. He seemed not to notice the murderous expressions on most of their faces.

"Wotcher, everyone! I'm back from the Hospital Wing-" He got no further.

Rage boiled through Harry's vein, and his actions channeled it, as he rose from his seat in a instant, wand already pointing at Henry.

"Exsequor!" He roared, and the angry purple Punishing Hex soared through the hall, impacting on Henry's chest, who went down with a high pitched shriek. Now the Hall was shocked into silence as Harry leapt over the table to confront his brother, who was lying on the cold stone, still whimpering. He gestured at the pitiful mess that was his brother with his wand.

"Accio little prick!" Henry's torso was jerked forward, as his body was pulled forward like a ragdoll before being caught in Harry's one fist.

"YOU ARROGANT LITTLE SHIT!" Harry yelled, as his brother blubbered in his fist. "I SAW YOU HEADING DOWN THAT BLOODY THIRD CORRIDOR! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF STORY DID YOU FEED DUMBLEDORE?! MORSUS!" The point blank Stinging Hex sent Henry screaming, tears streaming down his red face. "WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM, YOU BASTARD SON OF A HIPPOGRIFF?! MORSUS!"

"I-t w-w-w-was v-VOLDEMORT!" Henry screamed, and shocked and choked gasps spread throughout the Hall. "H-HE WAS THERE!" Another Stinging Hex sent him careening back into pained squealing.

"HORSESHIT! YOU LYING LITTLE ASS!" Harry, fully ready to curse the truth out of Henry in front of the entire student body, was ready to kill when a hand was laid on his shoulder.

Harry jerked around to see Dumbledore there, a very stern look on his face.

"Mr. Potter, I would like to have a word with you. In my office."  
>"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SWALLOW HIS SHIT?" Dumbledore raised his hands in a calming gesture, obviously meant to soothe Harry, only ended up having the opposite effect.<p>

"Mr. Potter, if you would please calm down-"

"NO! I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN! YOU'VE BEEN GIVING HIM SPECIAL TREATMENT EVER SINCE HE FUCKING CAME HERE! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" Harry sat down in the proffered seat, breathing heavily.

Dumbledore sighed. "Harry, you have to understand-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU MENTION THOSE WORDS AGAIN, I'LL BLOODY CURSE YOUR BEARD OFF!" Harry was ignoring the fact that Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard in England at the moment, but that was beside the point. "HAVING A BLOODY FUCKING GOD DAMN SCAR DOES NOT MAKE HIM AUTOMATICALLY BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!"

"Harry." This time his voice was a bit more stern. "Voldemort was down there. I confirmed it." This threw Harry for another loop, but he refused to let it show.

"So what?" Harry retorted. "You're basically rewarding him for trying to seek out the most powerful dark wizard in England, maybe in all of Europe. That's favoritism if I've ever heard of it." Dumbledore shook his head.

"No, I believe Mr. Potter was heading after Voldemort because he heard he was aft-" Dumbledore suddenly clammed up, eyeing Harry. Harry heard every word.

"After what?" Harry hissed venomously. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, Headmaster?" Dumbledore sighed again and kneaded his temples.

"Voldemort was after the Sorcerer's Stone, which I had volunteered to help my friend and mentor Nicholas Flamel hide here. I'm sure you know what that means." Harry made sure to muscle his face. No need in letting the old coot know he was shaken.

"That's ridiculous." Harry held up a hand when Dumbledore started to protest. "There are several reasons. One, what is the likelihood of Henry finding out on his own that a highly valuable magical artifact was stored here?"

"Ms. Granger could have helped him. She is very bright for her age." Dumbledore seemed to have forgotten to defend Henry's intelligence. Harry grudgingly acceded that point.

"That is true, but still, weren't you trying to keep it hidden? That doesn't speak well of your skills in secrecy. Besides, why hide it here? You could've just put it in a regular old house with the Fidelus Charm on it, with yourself as Secret Keeper, and it probably would have worked just as well, probably better. Why Hogwarts?" Dumbledore raised a eyebrow at Harry.

"The Fidelus charm is very advanced material. I'm suprised you know of it." Harry scowled. He had not meant to reveal his intelligence. He waved his hand dismissively.

"That's besides the point. Why Hogwarts?" Dumbledore seemed to collect himself, before answering.

"I believed it would be safer when it is closer to myself and my staff. We are highly trained-"

Harry let out a bitter laugh. "Fat lot of good that did. The only thing bringing it here did was lure Voldemort to Hogwarts." Harry watched the Dumbledore's eyelash twitch. If he had not been looking for a reaction, he would have missed it entirely. He stored that tidbit away for later use. So protection had not been his only motive for storing the stone here. Harry shook his hand again. "Nevermind. Reason number two. What makes you think that Henry was down there for Voldemort and not just the Stone?"

"You don't seem to think very highly of your brother."

Harry snorted. "You seem to think too highly of him."

"I do not believe Henry would do such a thing." Dumbledore returned carefully. Harry snorted, but did not answer. Honestly, how blind could one person be?

"Whatever. Fine. You can keep on believing that he pisses gold and shits diamonds. Why did you award him? Ravenclaw won the cup fair and square." Dumbledore shook his head sadly, giving Harry a disappointed look that boiled his blood with anger. Who was he to look down on him?

"Is that all this is about, Harry? The House Cup?" Harry was about to nod, when he suddenly felt something that nearly froze his blood in his veins.

There was a tickling at the edge of his mind, a gentle prodding that was almost indistinguishable. Harry's face contorted with rage and he stood to face the Headmaster.

"Stay. Out. Of. My. HEAD!" Harry yelled, trying with all his mental power to remember the Occlumency exercises he had read about. Clear his mind, clear his mind, clear his mind...

Dumbledore's face turned to surprise for one moment, before the surprise vanished, replaced with sternness. The tickling vanished, which was more likely due to Dumbledore retracting the probe, as bitterly as Harry wished it were not so, than Harry's feeble attempts to make it go away.

"You're not making it very easy for me to trust you, Harry." Harry almost snarled at the man.

"Likewise." He spat back. "I expect the Cup in Ravenclaw Trophy Room, old man, or there'll be serious hell to pay." Harry turned to leave. Dumbledore's deceptively mild voice floated down to him he descended the stairs

"Your parents will be notified, Harry. There will be consequences for your actions in the Great Hall." Harry barked a laugh, and shouted his reply back up the stairs.

"Bring them on."

Harry stepped into Diagon Alley with a smirk. It had been a long summer, but it had been worth it.

Dumbledore had not been kidding when he said there would be consequences. Harry had been denied access to any place outside the manor, only being let out of his room for meals and bathroom breaks, along with short trips to the library for books he needed for his summer. Harry smirked. As if. They hadn't even checked what books he was taking, seemingly taking comfort in the fact that they were sure he was suffering somehow. Idiots.

There was very little a first year could find for his summer homework in The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 4, after all.

The downside was that he had been forced to listen to his parents fawn all over his brother for the A's and E's he got in his OWLs, and had to listen to them console him about the P's and the T he had received in Potions, (Which somehow actually made James happy!). Harry had DONE his best not to gag, but he was sure he had received a few odd looks from across the table when he started choking with laughter around a mouthful of turkey when James clapped Henry on the back and assured him that getting a T from Snape was the equivalent of a O in his book.

Harry allowed himself another small chuckle as he pulled his OWL letter out and reread it.

.LEVEL's.

(O.W.L.s)

"O"Outstanding

"E"Exceeds Expectations

"A"Acceptable

"P"Poor

"D"Dreadful

"T"Troll

Harry James Potter has completed his first year at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft. His grades as follow are:

Defense Against the Dark Arts-O

Charms-O

Transfiguration-O

Care of Magical Creatures-O

Potions-A

History of Magic-O

Herbology-E

Arithmacy-O

Your child, in addition, has been recommended for advanced programs. Please sign at the bottom of the parchments attached if you wish to see about setting up such.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonnagell?, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts

Harry had not been able to hold in a snort when he first read the last part. As if his parents would ever sign a parchment that in any way demeaned their golden boy. He had forged some signatures on the advanced classes sheets, but he wasn't sure if they would fly or not.

"Alright Henry-kins! We're going to saddle up for our next year at Hogwarts! Aren't you excited?" His mother gushed, as she and his father filed past, Henry at their heels.

"Muuum, don't call me that!" Henry whined. Harry sighed. If this continued, he might need to seek out a dark wizard in some back alley and ask him to AK him, to relieve him of this agony.

"She can't help it, son! Your second year at Hogwarts! I was so pumped that year! I remember that year. Sirius and I used to..." James took Henry by the shoulder, and led him to the side, obviously treating him to the tale of his bullying and pranking of some hapless child, which Henry was enjoying immensely, by the looks of it. Lily looked on with watery eyes, obviously glowing with happiness.

Harry coughed roughly, drawing her attention. The fondness all but disappeared, something that did not surprise him in the least, considering the screaming fit they had thrown the moment he had stepped off the Hogwarts Express. He ignored this and plowed on.

"I need to get my things." He stated, keeping as bland a face as possible. She nodded and dug into her handbag, before divvying up somewhere around 100 Galleons and putting them in a pouch, before handing them to him. Harry raised a eyebrow at the amount.

"Lockhart's books cost quite a bit. Don't spend it all on trinkets, because you're not getting any more." She told him sternly. Lockhart? Wasn't he that big blowhard that all the witches were screaming about? What was he doing on the curriculum? Harry shrugged and walked off into Diagon Alley, leaving his mother to fawn. It was probably one of the female professors getting a fetish. He secretly suspected Sprout.

Harry felt a odd sense of freedom as he wandered in. He checked the money and counted it more precisely. 107 Galleons. Harry was not far off in his estimate. He put the money away, and headed in the direction of Flourish and Blotts. It would not do to underestimate the price of the books.

Of course, he was quite suprised when he found along line of middle aged witches, all blushing and looking nearly blinding in the amount of perfume and makeup they were outfitted in. His mind quickly assessed the sparse reasons that a huge line of witches would lineup at the store. Of course, he groaned out loud a second before a loud, boisterous voice drifted from the bookstore, sending nearly every witch there into conniptions of squeals.

"Come one! Come all! Gilderoy Lockhart has time and man enough for all of you!" Harry was half suprised that the horde of women didn't crucify him for the blatantly chauvinistic line, but it just sent them into further squeals.

Harry eyed the gaudy sign of the handsome blonde man grinning and giving all the witches a thumbs up and the occasional blown kiss. He sighed and resigned himself as he entered the store. Something was going to go wrong. He positively knew it.

He was not disappointed, as three steps in, there was a loud cry of "GREAT MERLIN! Is that Henry Potter!" and the the tall baby eyed man nearly tackled him, swinging a arm around his shoulder. The reporters all immediately turned, and Harry was subjected to the sensation of flash blindness as nearly every bulb went off at once. Harry blinked rapidly to clear the stars from his eyes.

Harry let out a loud sigh. "Excuse me, Mr. Lockhart." The man ignored him, jabbering like a monkey about how he was going to make him great. "MR LOCKHART." He tried more forcefully. The man stopped and blinked at him blearily. "I'm not Henry Potter. I'm his brother, Harry."

There was a uncomfortable silence except for the flashing of cameras as they tried to capture every possible angle of Gilderoy Lockhart looking dumbstruck. He then rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and bent down to his level.

"Sorry about that kiddo." He gave another million Galleon smile. "Would you tell me where he is?" Harry sighed boredly and pointed down Diagon Alley, where his family was being mobbed by a cacophony of eager witches and wizards, all wanting to shake the hand of the Boy-Who-Lived?.

"GREAT!" He yelled, nearly knocking Harry over with a thunderous pat on the back. "As my thanks, you may have my entire collection! All autographed and signed personally by me! Gilderoy Lockhart!" He pushed a large stack of books into Harry's arms, and sprinted off towards Henry, hounded quickly by the reporters and photographers, leaving only Harry and a large group of witches with their books unsigned, looking very disgruntled.

Harry smirked as a positively genius idea struck him.

"Ladies!" The women all turned to look at him. Most were hungrily eyeing the pile of books in his arms. He gave them a winning smile and picked up one of the books of the pile, and opened the cover. There was the man's signature, along with what seemed to be a...kiss mark. Harry held in a grimace. The looks on the women's faces turned positively cannibalistic. "I'm sure we can come to an arrangement. After all, what need have I signed copies, when all I need are his books themselves? I would be perfectly willing to trade these to you, for a perfectly reasonable price, of course. I'll start the bidding at 5 Gall-"

"I'll give you 40 Galleons for that book! And my unsigned copy!" One of the witches blurted, and that set them off.

Around a hour later...

Damn, who would've thought he was that popular? Thought Harry, as he eyed his now 435 Galleon richer budget, along with his now perfectly normal set of Lockhart books. Harry quickly plucked a few extra books off the shelves that caught his eye, such as Archibald the Hunter's Jinxing Favorites, Legends:Wizarding Tales, New and Old, The Encyclopedia of Nasty Transfigurations, and The Diary of Emrys:Merlin's Final Days. Harry had already nicked his other curriculum books out of the family library, so he could splurge on whatever he wished. He quickly paid for them and left.

He briefly checked his list. He was supposed to meet Matt and Luna at the ice cream shop in around a hour, so he had plenty of time. Time for a stop at Gringotts.

He quickly felt the calming wards of Gringotts wash over him as he stepped through the marble doors. It was very smart of them to put them there. They would most certainly lower chances of fights in Gringotts. He quickly accosted one of the goblin tellers not occupied.

"Excuse me..." The short goblin turned to face him. It's perpetual sneer deepened.

"I am Gringotts Teller Snatcheye. What can I help you with?" Harry nodded respectfully.

"I'd like to open a personal vault." Snatcheye looked at him disdainfully.

"You are aware there is a minimum 100 Galleon deposit rate?" He drawled. Harry coolly opened his pouch, revealing the now 512 Galleons inside. Snatcheye's eyes widened fractionally, and he hopped off his stool, motioning for Harry to follow.

He led Harry to a small office, where he took a seat behind a desk, and began pulling paperwork from a plethora of places, all of it looking positively dreadful. He talked as he worked, handing Harry a quill and inkpot which he immediately took and set to the forms.

"Who would you like the vault under?" The goblin steepled it's fingers around it's stomach.

"Harry James Potter." The goblin waved it's hand, and the quill on his paper began scribbling furiously.

"Age?"

"Thirteen."

"Birthplace?"

"Godric's Hollow, England."

The questions continued, until Harry finally took a small knife and dripped a drop of blood onto the parchment. The Goblin took the parchment and rolled it up, storing it in one of the file cabinets. Snatcheye held out his hand.

"Welcome to Gringotts, mister Potter. I look forward to seeing you in the future." Harry nodded and shook his hand.

"Likewise." Harry opened his pouch and shoveled out roughly 400 of his newfound wealth. Snatcheye quickly divided it up, and snatched a quill and pen.

"So your first deposit will be 407 Galleons?" Harry nodded. It was close enough, leaving him with a still hefty sum of 105 to spend. He was more suprised by the gbolins ability to tally it so precisely in a single glance. Snatcheye quickly produced a Bottomless Bag and scooped up the small treasure trove of Galleons. Harry knew it would be perfectly safe in the teller's hands. Harry nodded and left.

He consulted his list. Forty minutes to go. Great.

First, he headed to Madam Malkins Robes for All Occasions, purchasing his regular school robes, along with dragon hide gloves for Potions of the highest quality. The one's last year had been castaways of Henry's, just like usual. Also on the list this year, to his surprise, was a set of dress robes. Harry shrugged, and ordered some in the finest black and green, with silver hems. He smirked at his image, and laughed outright when the magical mirror told him he had a fine arse. He left the place in a rather good mood.

Next stop, he purchased his cauldron and some Potions tools. He was determined not to let Snape have a excuse to give him poor grades again. He was going to excel in every class, damn it, even if he had to shove his potions under Snape's greasy nose to prove it.

He drifted idly around the pet shop for a while, admiring the snakes, and talking with them while the woman at the counter wasn't looking. Snakes had a remarkable penchant for sarcastic and witty humor, something that Harry greatly appreciated. He already had Ico, although he had stayed at Hogwarts to explore, which was a reasonable request, considering the castle was VERY large, and would take some time to fully traverse.

Harry had the distinct pleasure of witnessing a brawl between Mr. Weasley and Lucius Malfoy when he decided to browse the bookstore. Arthur was a very kind man, truly, but he was a bit too naive for his own good. Arthur had escaped with a few bruises and a severe tongue lashing from his wife. But he didn't stop grinning at the sight of the shiner he had given Lucius, along with the rapidly swelling black eye. Harry shook his head. Honestly! Grown men, nay, grown wizards fighting in a bookshop! With their fists, no less. Barbaric.

Harry nearly did a double take when he realized the time. He sprinted quickly over to the ice cream shop.

He did a quick once over of the area. He couldn't spot Matt or Luna anywhere. Then he sensed a familiar presence behind him, and hid a wry grin as Matt clapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey Harry, how's it go-WHOAH!" Matt yelled as he was promptly grabbed by his hand and flipped over Harry's shoulder, landing with a painful sounding thump on the ground in front of Harry. Harry put a foot on Matt's chest.

"You're late." He drawled, just as Matt degenerated into sputtering curses.

"You bastard! You mother-" He quickly stopped as he eyed the many mothers around him giving him a steely glare. He got up and patted off his robes, then flashed Harry a grin.

"So those practical exercise and defense theory books I sent you actually worked?" Harry nodded. Matt whistled. "Damn, I'm going to have to be more careful around you if you're going to start pulling that kung-fu shit around me." He ignored the angry mother's gasps and finger shaking. Harry smiled and walked past him, punching him lightly in the stomach. Matt wheezed a bit.

"It's called judo, you twat." Matt grinned and just waved him off. He took a seat under one of the large multicolored umbrellas.

"Now all we're missing is-"

"Harry! Matt!" Both boys turned to see Luna trotting up to them, with a jubilee of bags on her hands. It looked as though she had stolen a logo printer from all the fashion designs on the bags. Harry raised a eyebrow at her.

"So you took my suggestion?" Luna nodded and beamed happily.

"Who would've known that Muggles had such great clothes! And shoes! And-" Matt coughed, at Luna turned.

"What." Matt smirked.

"Luna, you must remember, we are men, and are therefore lacking the part of the brain that allows for us to hold long, deep conversations over the topic of fashion." He sat back and chuckled, before hissing sharply and glaring at her. "Hey! Don't kick me!" She turned her head and sniffed sharply.

"Or lacking the brain altogether." She retorted, and Harry snorted. Matt shrugged, and reached into his bag, before pulling out a knife. It looked, in all respects, as a Swiss Army knife.

"Check this sucker out." Matt breathed. "Knife of the Living Dead. I bought it down in Knockturn Alley out of some shady shop called Borgin and Burkes. Apparently, one cut with this, and you're out like a light for while. Depends on the size of the cut." Harry nodded, turning it around in his hands.

"Nice piece. Good balance. Probably'll be dead useful in knocking out those magical creatures you said you got ingredients off." Matt grinned and nodded, before pocketing the knife.

"That's what I thought when I bought it."

Harry glanced at his ticket, watching the time on it magically counting down. He turned to his friends.

"We should get going to Kings Cross." He watched as his friends pulled out their tickets, checking them, before nodding and following him as he walked out of the ice cream shop and shortly thereafter, Diagon Alley.  
>The Hogwarts Express had not changed at all from last year, still large, flashy, and blatantly Gryffindor favoritist. Harry eyed it with visible disgust, before reluctantly stepping on board.<p>

The three were rather early, so they had the pleasure of picking and choosing their compartment. Luna had had a bit of trouble navigating the corridors, looking a bit like a coat rack with all those bags hanging off of her. Harry had shrunk them quickly with a assurance to Luna that he could unshrink them as same as before.

"Luna, you DO know that they don't allow you to wear anything but robes in school, right?" He asked bemusedly. She didn't even falter.

"Well, they moved up the year that students can travel to Hogsmeade. Second years can go now, too, with permission from parents." Harry's eyes rose, then his face darkened a bit. He supposed that his parents had signed Henry's sheet, but omitted his. Maybe another forgery was merited. in this situation. Or, if that didn't work, maybe a talk with Flitwick.

"Really? I guess I'll have to owl Dad for some of my clothes. I only brought robes." Matt inspected his plain robes with a hint of disgust. "Seriously, can't they have the tiniest bit of imagination? All black? I bet their heads would explode if we suggested a free dress code. Damn taskmasters." Luna nearly squealed at the end of the sentence.

"And I have all these clothes!" She gushed. "All the other girls are going to be so jealous!" She began rifling through her bags, bringing out and showing various articles of clothes to two inattentive boys. Even Hedwig seemed a bit annoyed with the constant squealing, giving a indignant hoot at a particularly loud one. Matt gave Luna a bored stare.

"Luna, Harry's owl says you're annoying. Quiet down." Luna's mouth snapped shut, and she gave him a glare.

"Well, tell her that she can deal with it." Matt turned lazily to Hedwig, and a few chirps, hoots and caws emanated from Matt's open mouth, sounding quite out of place. Hedwig hooted a few more times. Matt turned back to Luna.

"She says to quit it before she takes a dump on your pillow." Luna looked about to retort, but then noticed the very humanlike glare she was receiving from the snowy owl, and wisely shut up.

The rest of the ride was generally uneventful.  
>"...and finally, Welcome, all, you your next year at Hogwarts!" Dumbledore beamed out at all the young faces, most of which were silently urging him with their minds to get on with it and put the food on the tables. His eyes twinkled, and he waved his hands, conjuring food onto all of the plates.<p>

"Finally!" Matt groaned, before digging in. Harry smiled slightly and piled up his plate with a balanced meal, before eating at a much more sedate pace than his overeager friend. Luna was off to the side, gabbing with one of her girlfriends about her new clothes no doubt.

Finally, back home. And to Harry, it was home, much more a home than Potter Manor ever was. He let himself breath in the musky scent, coupled with the scent of well cooked food. Yep, there was nothing that could go wrong n-

"HELLO ALL!" Harry froze, as the tell tale sound of the Great Hall doors being opened quieted the hall, so all the students could all stare at the newcomer. He shut his eyes tightly, mentally wishing his genius brain was not so damn smart, as he had already assimilated the only reason as to why that person could be here, taking in the book choice, and the missing seat at the teachers table. He shook his head rapidly, quickly spiraling into desperate denial.

Oh my God, my luck isn't that bad, is it?

"You wouldn't BELIEVE what happened to me!"

It was.

Dumbledore stood up, beaming, and waved his hands at the newcomer.

"Everyone, please welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher!"

Pleasenopleasenopleasepleaseple-

"Mr Gilderoy Lockhart!"

Fuck.

Harry turned finally, to see the blond man in sky blue robes, grinning fit to blind them all with his perfect white teeth. He looked as if he had just changed. Most of the females in the hall were looking at him starry eyed, including the professors. He felt a bit disappointed when he saw Professor Vector mimicking Professor Trelawney, The Divinations Professor, as they gave him calf eyes. Harry thought she would be more sensible, being the Arithmacy teacher and all. A shame.

He was also thoroughly relieved when he heard Luna snort in disgust next to him.

Lockhart strode purposely up to the front of the hall, before turning around and proceeding to spout the most amount of meaningless drivel he had ever heard come out of a human mouth. It somehow described him wrestling a troll, out screaming a banshee and winning a staring contest with a basilisk all on the way to the Great Hall.

"People actually listen to this fool?" Harry whispered disbelievingly, earning several heated glares from girls around him. Matt nodded in agreement next to him, his mouth still agape in disbelief.

Lockhart finished up his ovation, still beaming idiotically, before taking a seat in between Professor Sinistra, the Runes teacher, and Sprout, both eyeing him with visible disgust.

Harry moaned miserably and put his head on the wooden table. It was going to be a loooooong year.  
>As soon as Harry entered his dormitory, he was greeted by the comforting sight of Ico slithering around on his bed. He was a bit worried, however, as the figure-eight he was tracing meant he was already very distressed.<p>

Harry reached out a hesitant hand. to the agitated snake. Ico abruptly spotted him, and immediately coiled and leapt at him, babbling in Parceltongue.

"Harry! Vorpala'ssss eyesss! You 're not going to believe-huh?" Ico, hitting Harry directly in the chest, immediately emitted a flash of light.

Suddenly, Ico grew a good 7 inches, and a few in diameter. Harry, not expecting the weight, toppled to the ground with the snake on top of him. The snake's head rose, inspecting it's new height.

"Wow! I got bigger!" The Ico's mouth opened and closed a few times, revealing fangs now much larger. "My fangssss too! And I feel something sssstrange in my mouth." The jaw muscles on Ico's head tightened visibly, and a large purple drop slid down one of the fangs, landing with a splat next to Harry's head. Harry whitened a bit when the stone started to sizzle, and squirmed away a bit. "Excellent! I have accccid sssacs! There are a couple more new sssacs. Hold on..." Harry's eyes widened as drops of new colors slid down the fangs, and Harry had to twist out of the way as they fell down on the stone under him. Ico was oblivious, still fawning over himself.

"I feel sssso much more powerful! Sssscales of the Wyrmsss, I am sssooooo...how do you ssay it, Harry? Yess! I am ssso badassss!" Harry, having quite enough of this, pushed the snake to the side, rubbing his sore chest. Ico was still pondering. "But how,?"

"You foolisssh garden ssssnake!" Harry spat. "You are my familiar, of coursssse you grew! Your sssize is directly proportionate to my magic!" Ico snapped out of it at the sound of Harry's voice.

"Harry! Harry!"

Harry heaved a huge sigh. "What."

"There's another sssssnake at Hogwartssssss!" Harry immediately sat up.

"What? Are you ssssure?"

"Yessss! The ssssscent is a bit old, but it isssss here, I can feel it! It smellssss extremely old, and powerful!"

Harry groaned and put his head in his hands. Could his year get any more complicated? 

Ico blatantly refused to let Harry go anywhere without Ico on his person. Ico even consented to wrapping himself around Harry's midriff, like a large reptilian corset, something he would have never consented to before. Harry had a great deal of trouble explaining why his chest started hissing whenever anyone but his friends came within a five foot radius.

Of course, Ico would not simply remain put all the time. Ico found great pleasure in making jokes in Harry's ear when he was trying to be serious. Harry had to stuff his fist in his mouth during Potions to prevent from uncontrollable bouts of laughter when Ico first saw Snape, and proclaimed him to be the biggest, greasiest flobburworm he had ever seen. Harry had not been able to stop himself when Ico stated flatly he would never eat a flobburworm again, because it would remind him of Snape, and henceforth give him indigestion. Harry had been able to shod it off as furious coughing, which Snape took points away for, of course.

Harry had pondered Ico's words, of course. A old scent of a great serpent? It had to mean something.

Meanwhile, the Defense classes were going to hell. Lockhart had proved himself and inserted himself in Harry's mind as the most incompetent and worthless being ever to grace the planet, bar Henry.  
>Harry stared in disgust at the piece of paper in front of him. This was supposed to be a quiz?<p>

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest ambition?

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest accomplishment?

What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret hobby?

Harry eyed the paper flatly, then wrote out the correct answers. Why make such a easy quiz?

Whatever color is considered homosexually acceptable at the time.

To be the Minister of Magic's personal boy toy.

Walking and talking at the same time.

Writing gay fan fictions involving himself and the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Harry smirked in satisfaction, and handed in his quiz.

Lockhart gathered the quizzes, beaming as usual, rifling through them. Harry watched in disgust as Hermione Granger, to the right of him, watched with almost rapturous anticipation.

"Hmm...yes...Oh my, Ms. Granger! You seem to be the only one who's gotten a perfect score!" Harry tried not to gag as the bushy headed girl beamed and turned bright red, looking ready to melt. "Let's see, the others...yes...hmm? What is-MR POTTER!" He nearly screamed. Lockhart's face had turned nearly purple. His eyes looked ready to pop out of his head. He spluttered and waved Harry's paper in front of his face.

"WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE!" Harry gave him a innocent look.

"Why, the answers of course, Professor Lockhart." Lockhart started sputtering, trying but failing to form coherent sentences, until he managed to finally get out-

"DETENTION!" Harry shrugged, and the bell rang. He picked up his book and walked out, leaving the still fuming professor.  
>Harry groaned. This had definitely not turned out as planned.<p>

When Lockhart said detention, Harry assumed he would writing lines, or scrubbing floors, or some other task Harry was sure he could get away with magicking instead of using hard work, since the man was obviously a oblivious idiot who couldn't tell a thestral from a hippogriff.

Not answering FAN MAIL! Harry let out another groan, this one from his stomach, as he massaged his sore fingers. Who knew such a huge prat could have so many admirers? He was missing the feast. He suddenly remembered one of the conversations he had overheard his father having with Henry, and altered his route, heading to a place quite a bit away from the Great Hall he was supposed to be heading to.

Soon, he found himself in front a large portrait of a fruit bowl, before reaching up and caressing the pear ever so slightly. The pear let out a very un-fruit like giggle, and swung aside. Harry climbed inside.

There were house-elves everywhere. One by one, they all stopped to stare at him, halting their previous tasks of washing dishes, carrying food or folding clothes. Harry suddenly felt a bit self conscious with all those large orb like eyes upon him. He cleared his throat.

"Erm, well, I missed the feast mostly, and I was kind of hoping you had some extras..." It took no more than that.

In the course of around fifteen seconds, Harry found himself in front of a lacquered table, a napkin stuffed down the front of his shirt, a tablecloth spread in front of him, fine silver utensils laid out, and a lavish three course dinner set in front of him, including namely-

A large turkey, with oodles of gravy and stuffing showing.

A cornucopia of fresh fruits and vegetables, all steamed and cut to perfection, with dips and creams off to the side.

And in the back, what appeared to be a entire chocolate cake, with mouthwatering amounts of chocolate frosting and syrup glistening on it.

"Great Runessssspoor'ssssss feathersssss!" Ico exclaimed. "It ssseeemsss the little micccce are good for sssomething after all." Harry nodded in dumb agreement.

Harry watched as another house elf finally set a large goblet of pumpkin juice in front of him, quite taken aback. It seems his father wasn't all talk and bluff, like he had previously believed. He'd have to tell Luna about this. And Matt. And all the Ravenclaws.

The elves watched him anxiously. With a start, he realized they were waiting for him, and quickly set in. They seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief as he took his first bite, before turning back to their regular tasks, occasionally shooting a glance at him to make sure that he was still properly lavished upon.

About a hour later, he left the kitchen, feeling quite bloated and full. Ico was squirming around his midsection, indicating he was trying to speed up his digestive process. The elves hadn't even batted a eye when Ico slithered out of Harry's sleeve and started ripping chunks off of the turkey. In fact, they had even asked if his noble serpent wanted a separate turkey all to himself. To which he readily agreed. Harry groaned and batted lightly at the reptilian belt he was wearing.

"Ico, quit that, you're going to make me puke." Harry groaned. He set off down the corridor, quite happily stuffed.

Of course, he stopped dead when he rounded the corner.

There, hanging from one of the torches, was Filch's cat, , looking quite stiff, probably Petrified. And inscribed beneath it in a terrible red liquid which Harry had a distinct feel was blood, was-

ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE. THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED.

Chamber of Secrets? Harry distinctly remembered hearing that somewhere. Harry stopped for a moment, trying to recall.

Suddenly, footsteps echoed in the halls, and Harry wand was shocked out, as he quickly cast a disillusionment charm. Whoever had DONE this, he DID NOT want to be here when another person found it. Students and teachers were hording in from both sides, so he quickly slipped in to a group and made himself visible, plastering a shocked and horrified look on his face.

Filch stepped forward from the mob, wailing.

"MY CAT! Someone's gone and killed my Mrs. Norris!" He swung around, eying the students with a mad eye. He pointed to no one in particular, swinging his finger at any student who looked remotely out of place. "I KNOW YOU'VE DONE THIS, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!"

The Headmaster stepped forward, in all his twinkly eyed glory. There was no twinkle now, however.

"Calm yourself, Argus. Your cat is not dead." The bitter old sanitarian turned around, spittle flying from his lips.

"NOT DEAD?! SHE'S HANGING FROM THE BLOODY WALL!" Dumbledore smiled.

"Not dead. Simply Petrified." Harry almost smiled. As he thought. Dumbledore turned around to face the hoard of students. "Now, it is time for you to all return to your common rooms." The was grumbling, but the students filed out. Harry may have stared for one second longer than all the others, or stood out somehow, but the Headmaster's eyes found his, probing, searching. Harry sneered, bolstered his Occlumency shields, and walked away with the rest of them.  
>"So you just found it like that?" Harry nodded emphatically.<p>

Luna leaned back in her chair, her dirty blond hair framing her pale face as she chewed on her full bottom lip. "Well, I suppose there are a few seventh and sixth years that could petrify a cat, but they'd be really advanced-Straight O NEWT students. The teachers could do it too, obviously, but I can't see one of them petrifying a cat. And that message..."

"Yeah." Matt piped in, from over the cover of his copy of Hogwarts, A History. "That message was pretty ominous. Listen to this." Matt cleared his throat. " When the founders created Hogwarts, they had many disputes over how the students would be chosen. Gryffindor wanted only those strong and true of heart, with courage enough to fill the land with wizards who would run from no fight, large or small." Harry snorted.

"Sounds like a headstrong moron. Everyone knows there ARE some fights you can't win. Why sit around for those?" Luna giggled, and Matt nodded, before continuing to read.

"Hufflepuff was the most passive in her argument, agreeing to take all, as long as they were steadfast and would work without complaint, believing that enough hard work could eliminate any flaw."

"So she's saying if I did enough push ups I could eventually cure cancer with the power of my forearms, hmm?" Matt snorted, and continued to read.

"Ravenclaw wanted only those with minds like a blade, keen and sharp, who believed that should one acquire enough knowledge, the sky was the limit and the world would be at their fingertips. Those who would always seek knowledge, for knowledge was power."

"Finally, a sensible person."

"And finally, Slytherin, in his arrogance and pride, would accept only those pure of blood, those who's wizarding ancestry could be traced back generation through generation, all the way to Merlin, the father of magic himself. His foolish pride nearly brought about the end of the school itself."

Harry frowned. "It sounds like they are a bit biased against Slytherin. I can't stand that. It's stupid to be prejudiced against someone you haven't met."

"When the three founders banded against him, Slytherin fled the school in cowardice, leaving a dire warning. There would come one day a heir to his line, who would open his Chamber of Secrets and rid the school of those impure of blood. Wait a minute, here's a footnote...See Chamber of Secrets, page 413...Right." Matt flipped through the book quickly, and stopped, impaling a page with his finger. "Right here...The Chamber of Secrets."

"The Chamber of Secrets: A legendary hidden chamber, thought to built by Slytherin before he left the school. Rumored to hold a monster that only the heir of Slytherin could awaken. Although there have been many searches, it has never been discovered. Hey, wait a tick, here's another footnote. See Chamber Incident of 1950, page 369."

A few more pages were flipped, and Matt came to rest on one page. "The Chamber Incident of 1950: A period in the history of the school in which many students were petrified, and one girl was killed, reportedly in a bathroom. The Chamber of Secrets was believed to be opened, as many of the students targeted were half-bloods or muggleborns. The student responsible was caught by a prefect, and the creature responsible was reportedly a young Acromantula, known for their fine silk and the paralyzing effect it's venom has distilled. Acromantula escaped, but student was apprehended and sent to Azkaban. Names were not released."

"Well that's positively useless. There are no Acromantulas in Hogwarts, since that one escaped, and I severely doubt any students now currently have enough rocks to buy one, especially now that this has happened." Harry sighed. Another dead end.

More hair raising things had occurred previously. Ico, as soon as they had been out of earshot, given Harry quite the hissing tongue lashing for walking into what he believed was a nest full of trouble. The scent of the great serpent had been all over that scene, he had informed him, and fresh as a new baked pie.

So the monster was a snake. Harry resolved to research this when he got the chance.

On another note, Lockhart had gotten one whiff of this and immediately been all over it like ugly on a ape. Boating of how the monster was no match for him, and such. The funny part was how Henry could be heard doing the exact same thing. Harry had accidentally spewed pumpkin juice all over Matt when Luna innocently suggested that Lockhart was just a future Henry using a super Time Turner. Matt hadn't mind it much since he was laughing his guts out too.

Lockhart had started a dueling club, one that Harry would have never dreamed of going had he not seen the assistant's name, scribbled in small beneath Lockhart's, which covered half the poster with his grinning image. Professor Snape.

There was NO WAY he was missing that.  
>"Expelliarmus!" Harry and Matt watched with perverse glee as Lockhart and his wand were blasted across half the dueling platform. Matt finally lost it and started guffawing heavily, hiding behind one of his arms, as tears of mirth streamed down his face.<p>

Lockhart got up, a thunderstruck expression on his face, before that easy smile returned, and he started explaining how he could have easily blocked the spell, but chose not to. Harry smiled slightly. Yeah right!

Lockhart quickly clapped his hands, his ridiculous blue dueling robes fluttering around. "Now, let's pair you all up, shall we?" Snape intervened.

"Professor, why don't we have a...practice, between two of our students, to see how it works out?" Lockhart thought about it a moment, obviously thinking more upon his own laziness, and nodded cheerily. Snape's black eyes glittered. "Excellent. How about Mr. Malfoy, and..." Snape looked around for someone to torment, and when his eyes fell upon Harry, he already knew who his choice would be. Harry let out a small sigh of annoyance as Snape proclaimed loudly," Potter."

Harry slowly made his way through the crowd, and leaped up onto the dueling strip, pulling out his wand as Malfoy took the opposing position, sneering.

"Scared, Potter?" He asked, raising his wand. Harry snorted and began smiling. "What?" he demanded.

"Scared of you? Not in a million years." Malfoy's ears went red, and his face darkened. Harry raised his wand in salute. Lcokhart took a position in between.

"Now, I want this to be a clean duel. You're only seeking to disarm your opponent-HEY! I didn't say to star-"

"Stupefy!StupefyStupefyStupefy!"

Lockhart abruptly got cut off, as one of Harry's four rapid fire Stunners whanged him in the face, knocking him out and off the dueling platform.

Malfoy had quickly sent a Giggling Jinx, before a Bludgeoning Hex, which Harry swerved and ducked to avoid. Of Harry's three other Stunners, one missed, flying past his ear, another impacted upon Malfoy's wrist, sending his wand flying, and the third nailed him in the stomach, doubling him over. With a flourish of his wand, Harry shouted,

"Everbero!" The Pounding Hex nailed Malfoy directly on his head, sending him on his arse and into the land of dreams.

Snape looked quite furious. Lockhart, at some point, had been caught by some student and Ennervated, and was now clambering back onto the strip. Snape quickly Ennervated Malfoy, who sat up, groaning and rubbing his head, where a nasty purple bruise was already forming.

"I said DISARM ONLY!" Lockhart screamed, trying for authoritative and achieving only weenie. "We're going to do this again until you get this right! Take your positions." Harry shrugged and stepped back onto the starting square. Malfoy struggled to his feet, sending Harry a murderous glare, all the while with Snape whispering hurriedly in his ear.

"You're going to regret that, Potter." He hissed. Harry sent him a satisfied smirk.

"I doubt that, Draco. Considerably." To his suprise, Malfoy grinned maliciously.

"...and again, ONLY DISARM!" Lockhart finished his heated rant. He raised his hand, and brought it down. "Begin!"

Malfoy immediately jabbed his wand like a dagger. "Serpensortia!" With a crack a full grown cobra appeared, hissing and spitting. A few students screamed in alarm. It had a different effect on Harry.

He quickly put up his hand, trying but failing to hide his sniggers behind his hand. Malfoy glared at him. "Ico, get ready." Harry whispered from behind his hand. A squirming from within Harry's robe told him he had heard.

"What!? What's so damn funny!" Harry smiled.

"Your snake. It's kind of small, you know. Really. I suppose it's not size that matters, but still...sad." Most of the boys in the room got the undertone, and started whooping and jeering at Malfoy, who turned red. Harry eyed Matt out of the corner of his eye, choking with laughter.

Malfoy evened out. "At least I have a snake, you blood traitor!" He spat. Harry chuckled and shook his head.

"THAT's not a snake." Harry gestured to 'that', being Malfoy's cobra, which was still waiting for Malfoy's command to attack.

With a whipping motion of his robe sleeve, Ico flew out, hissing up a storm, and clamped down on Malfoy's cobra with a iron jaw and likely poisoned fangs. The cobra hissed and writhed in pain, and Ico re-clamped his jaw several times along the foe snake's spine, distributing the poison evenly.

"Take that, you little sssqueaker!" Ico hissed, before chomping down on the conjured snake's head, which sent it into a writhing fit.

Meanwhile, Malfoy was watching in Horror as his newly conjured serpent got positively mauled by Harry's larger and more venomous familiar. Harry grinned and pointed at Ico, who was eating the now quite dead cobra.

"THAT...is a snake." Harry watched in satisfaction as Ico swallowed the last bit of cobra, and let out a victory belch, being quite bloated by now. Malfoy gave a tiny 'eep; as Ico swung his head towards him. Ico swung his head back to Harry.

"Can I eat him?" he hissed. Harry snorted, and shook his head.

"No, you can't eat him, Ico, he'll give you cramps. I've heard weasels are murder on the digestive tracts." Harry made sure to use English. He did NOT need someone knowing he was a Parcelmouth, not with Slytherin's monster running amok. Ico shrugged, and slowly slithered back to Harry, and up his arm, twining himself around Harry's midsection again, squeezing and contracting ever so slightly, to help the breaking down of the snake. Harry hopped off the dueling platform, and headed for the door. As he was about leave, Malfoy finally found words to speak.

"Y-you're a Parcelmouth!"

Shit. There were several gasps, and all the students turned to him. With as much nonchalance as he could muster, he returned.

"Really?" and Harry left.  
>Harry's act had DONE no good. It had spread throughout the school within a hour that Malfoy, a Slytherin, had named him a Parcelmouth. Had it been a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, it could have been shrugged off as a insult, from people who hated Parcelmouths. But Slytherins revered Parcelmouths as a gift and a sign of being the heir of Slytherin. Add that to the heightened sense of hysteria due to the message, and Harry was now the school pariah to all but the Ravenclaws and his friends.<p>

This turned people quite ugly. Nearly all the people generally accepted him as being the one who had sicked the monster on the cat. And they treated him as such. He lost count of the times he had to duck spells or Banish dungbombs in the hallways.

"Assholes..." Matt muttered, while simultaneously catching a thrown dungbomb from a gaggle of first year Gryffindors, and lobbing it back at them, where it exploded, covering them in it's pungent odors.

"Just ignore them Matt." Luna said primly, before quickly nailing Fred and George Weasley with a Jelly-Legs? Jinx as they attempted to sneak up on them, followed quickly by a Bat Bogey Hex, leading to them to being dragged by winged loogies down the hallways. "They'll go away eventually."

Matt stared after the howling twins. "Or you'll just make them..." he muttered.

"What?"

Angelic smile.

"Nothing!" He said quickly. She smiled and nodded, before quickly hexing another Hufflepuff.

"Guys, you should really get to class. I can handle myself." Harry said boredly. "I don't need you two as bodyguards."

Both immediately protested. "But Harry-"

"No buts. I don't want your marks suffering just because the whole schools got a grudge against me. Leave." He watched as they both shot each other glances, before reluctantly making their ways down different corridors. He watched them go for a moment, before continuing down the way to the Arithmacy classroom, his spirits at a all time low.

Before he even reached the end of the corridor, Henry and a gaggle of Gryffindors stepped out, including his friend Ron Weasley and a few others. Seamus Finnigan, and his number one fan girl AKA girlfriend Ginny Weasley. Harry watched apathetically as Henry stepped forward.

"So, a Parcelmouth. I owled mum and dad. They're right furious, they are." Henry seemed triumphant. Harry looked at him bemusedly.

"And you think I care?" Harry asked, smiling. Henry seemed a bit annoyed. He quickly pulled a sneer out of somewhere, and pulled out a small vial of liquid, about the size of Harry's pinkie. He shook it in front of Harry's face.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked. Harry eyed it objectively. It was probably Veritaserum, from the color.

"A scale model of your penis?" Harry answered, still smiling. Henry turned red and most of the Gryffindors turned red as well, muttering. Only one spoke up.

"NO! It's Veritaserum. We're going to make you admit you're a Parcelmouth and a dark wizard!"

"Hey!" Ginny protested. Harry raised a eyebrow.

"Oh? Are you agreeing with me, Ginerva? I'm sure they'd accept your testimony-" He grinned like the cat that caught the canary."-considering you've seen it on a regular basis." She growled, turning as red as a turnip.

"Hey! What are you trying to say about my sister, you Death Eater bastard?" Ron Weasley asked. Most of the Gryffindors turned grins at this, nodding and shooting Harry hateful glances.

"Well, Weasley, if you must know, I am not trying to tell you anything. I am informing you explicitly that little Gin-Gin? here would be the best person to determine to size and proportion of Henry's prick, considering that she sucks it daily." That did it.

Ron's face turned murderous, and his wand was out in a second, shooting a Disarming spell at Harry. The other Gryffindors were still reaching for their wands, so Harry had just enough time to hiss to Ico in Parcelmouth, who whipped out of Harry's sleeve like a cannon, latching onto the side of Ron's neck quickly, no doubt injecting some sort of toxin. Harry's suspicions were proved, when Ron suddenly stiffened up, and fell to the floor.

"Get the snake!" Henry shouted, and Harry's eyes tightened. No one was getting out of here uninjured. With a quick flourish, he blasted Henry across the hallway with a Pounding Hex, smiting him unconscious.

Ico unlatched from Ron's neck, and coiled up quickly, avoiding several nasty hexes in the process, before springing and biting Seamus Finnigan, who let out a girlish scream as he was bitten. Ico, showing his cunning nature, quickly burrowed inside the boys robe, preventing the others from throwing spells at him unless they wanted to hit Seamus too.

Harry took this as his cue, and ducking a Stunner, he quickly nailed Ginny Weasley with a Stinging Hex, and she went down with a scream, convulsing as the little brother of the Crucatious Curse sent pain shooting through her body, and disarmed another Gryffindor. The disarmed Gryffindor growled and threw a punch. Harry caught it with his outstretched palm, twisted the arm, and stuck the boy's elbow with a open palm, cleanly breaking it. The boy went down with a howl.

Ico had worked his way out of Seamus's robes, and shot again out, biting a Gryffindor in the ankle. He was blindsided by a Stunner, being thrown a good foot and landing with a thump on the floor, nearly stopping Harry's heart in his chest when he remained motionless. Harry resumed breathing when Ico tensed and sprang at the foolish Gryffindor who came to check, hissing and spitting spitting with renewed vigor.

A normal snake would be unconscious. Harry supposed he must have gotten some magical resistance from being Harry's familiar.

There were only two left standing now, and they were looking very nervous. They looked from Harry to his familiar. Harry glanced at Ico, who looked mightily pissed. He smirked.

"Take them." He said. Ico tensed, and the two Gryffindors began to run.

"With PLEASSSSURE!" Ico launched himself at the right one. Harry lazily flicked his wand at one of the suits of armor ahead of the fleeing Gryffindor. Just as he was about to pass the suit, it abruptly stepped out, and brought it's spear pole up between the boy's legs. He stopped, and doubled over with a wheezy squeal. The knight rose it's fist, and chopped it on the boy's neck, knocking him firmly unconscious. The suit of armor gave Harry a thumbs up, before resuming it's normal position.

Harry smirked, and viewed all the downed Gryffindors, before realizing that there was a much better way to arrange these idiots.

About fifteen minutes later, he pocketed his wand, looking in satisfaction at his work.

All the Gryffindors were arrayed in a perfect line, hanging upside down from the wall torches, just like Mrs. Norris had, clad in nothing but their undergarments. He had cast Sticking charms to their feet, preventing them from getting down for a while. He quickly Ennervated the bunch. Needless to say, they were not happy.

"Get me down from here, Harry!" Henry screamed, struggling futilely. Harry chuckled, ignoring the many insults and curses being directed at him from the Gryffindors.

"I don't think so. In fact, I think I'll just leave you here for someone to find." Harry informed him tartly. Henry continued to struggle and flop about, not a pretty picture, considering he was not the most fit of boys.

"You're not going to get away with this! We'll tell Dumbledore!" One of them screamed. Harry smirked.

"So what? Do you think he's going to believe that..."Harry counted them quickly. "...Nine Gryffindors, one the all-mighty and all powerful Boy Who Lived, got beat by a single Ravenclaw? I don't think so. See you!" Harry stuffed his hands in his pockets, striding merrily down. He stopped for a second as he passed Ginny.

"Oh, and, I imagine it'll make quite the scene when you are all found. The Chudley Cannons are not that manly, certainly not enough to be put on one's boxers, Ronald." The other boys turned for a moment, and started snickering as they saw the boy trying and failing to cover his red Chudley Cannons boxers. Ginny laughed a bit too.

Harry smirked and wagged a finger at her. "Naughty naughty, Ginerva. You aren't one to laugh. Imagine the scene when find you! Black lace, how risqué of you." She turned red enough to shame a strawberry as all the other boys nearly acquired whiplash as they turned to look at her, as she futilely tried to cover her skimpy lingerie clad form.

"Well, as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I'm late for Arithmacy. Tootles!" The Gryffindors turned to continue cursing him, but he just strode past, whistling a merry tune.

Harry tried futilely to concentrate as the whispers of the people around reached him, despite his attempts to concentrate on the text in front of him.

"Look, isn't that Harry Potter?"

"I heard he's a Dark Wizard in training, just like Malfoy!"

"Definitely a bad egg."

"Stay away from him, or he'll cast a dark spell on you!"

"He's a Parcelmouth, everyone knows only Dark Wizards are Parcelmouths!"

Harry kneaded his temples. He tried a few mental exercises, like counting Arithmacy exercise. 30 spellpower multiplied by a third level element of fire, with a inverse lengthening variable equals...? Right, Incendio. The Burning Spell. What was the equation for a Time Turner enchantment again?

"Isn't he the one that cursed the Boy Who Lived last year?"

"Yeah, he did! Right in front of everyone!"

Harry snorted and smirked slightly. Matt looked at him with a bit of amusement. Luna didn't.

"You really shouldn't be so proud of yourself about that little stunt." Luna admonished him primly. Harry nodded slightly.

"I'm not. It was right stupid of me. I acted like a Gryffindor." The word left a slightly bad taste on his lips. "It won't happen again. Doesn't stop it from being funny, though."

"I suppose." Luna admitted easily.

Matt leaned slightly closer. "So what're you going to do about everyone thinking you're the Heir of Slytherin? You may be able to curse a few here and there, but you can't hold them off forever." Harry inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the point.

"True. And my plan is this. I shall-" Both his friends listened intently, and Harry smirked slightly at their eager expressions. "Do absolutely nothing." He chuckled as they adopted gobsmacked expressions. Matt's changed to disbelief, Luna's to thoughtfulness.

"They'll eat you alive, man! You've got to do something! Find some...super anti-pranking spell. Or pump up a Foe Glass. But you can't do nothing!" Luna still looked thoughtful. Harry shook his head ruefully.

"No Matt, I don't mean I'm going to lay down and take what they're throwing. I'm going to knuckle down and act like a perfect student, so they don't have any ammo to throw at me. They've already got more than enough right now." Luna tapped her chin with one finger.

"That...actually could work. If you hold to that. But then again, with your luck and attitude, you'll probably fumble up somewhere." Luna informed him brightly. Harry grunted slightly. He was quite aware he was not the most sociable of individuals.

Matt sighed explosively. "I don't know, Harry. That still sounds a lot like playing possum to me, and that really doesn't sound so hot to me." Harry arched a eyebrow at him.

"Then perhaps you should sit at the Gryffindor table come next feast." Harry drawled, and Luna giggled as Matt's face flushed slightly.

"Fine, I'll do it, damn it. I won't like it, though. And you can bloody forget about me doing your Potion's essays!" Harry shrugged. A small loss, compared to the gain.

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It worked, to some degree. The attacks and glares towards Harry's person gradually decreased, until it was little more than the occasional whisper and harsh glare. Sure, they might avoid him in the halls, but they would do that anyway. It didn't stop the occasional pranking attempt from the Weasley twins or Henry, but those generally failed miserably.

And then it happened. Colin Creevey, a muggleborn, was brought in, Petrified, with his camera melted into slag. The paranoia jumped again to high levels. Even though Harry had many witnesses to the fact he was sleeping peacefully in his common room when Collin was brought in, that still didn't count him out. It truly amazed him sometimes how far fear could stretch people's ignorance.

So that brought them to the present. It was the first week they'd be allowed in Hogsmeade, something that had both boys pumped.

"God, I'm so pumped!" Matt said exuberantly, punching one fist in the air. He was garbed in regular Muggle clothes, henceforth, a dry fit black T shirt with the Linkin Park logo on it and dark blue jeans. Harry had been introduced to the wonders of Muggle music that past summer, when Matt owled him a walkman and a CD. It was a good thing that his parents were 'Light' side wizards, and henceforth, did not feel the need to set up anti-Muggle technology wards around their manor. Harry was in no small amount hooked on Linkin Park, and a few other bands.

"Don't shout so loud, idiot." Harry said, wincing as he raised one hand to his ear. Finding no immediate sign of blood, he let it drop. Harry was open-minded, unlike many in the school, and recognized clearly that there were plenty of things the Muggles had that would be tremedously useful to the wizarding world. The fashion being one of them. Sure, robes were nice and looked absolutely kickass in a myriad of situations, but it was good to change it up a bit every once in a while.

To combat the robes, Harry had gone wild on Muggle fashion. He now owned a whole closet full of Muggle clothes. It seemed the Galleons converted to a great deal of money in the nonmgaical world. Harry was garbed in a black high necked pullover, with white cargo pants to go along. Along with the sunglasses he and Matt wore constantly, he would say they looked rather 'cool'.

As they stepped out of the tunnel and into Hogsmeade, they saw saw a few others garbed as they were, likely Muggleborns or half-bloods. They looked around for Luna, and found her in the way of her voice.

"Harry! Matt!" They both turned, to be greeted by quite the welcome sight.

Luna was trotting bouncily towards them, garbed in Muggle fashion, just like they were. She was wearing a jean-skirt, something quite popular with girls present day, along with spandex leggings that halted at mid calf. She wore on her chest a white tank top accented by a gray jacket.

Speaking of her chest...

"Merlin..." Matt whispered. "Luna's stacked!?" Harry elbowed him quickly, so the last part came out in a wheeze. But it was undeniably true. Harry took a brief moment to enjoy the laws of gravity and physics as Luna finished her last, VERY bouncy breas-err-steps.

"Hi guys!" She greeted cheerily. She giggled slightly and turned around slightly, admiring herself. "I can't believe Muggle clothes are so comfy. I'm going to hate going back to robes."

"I'm going to hate it too." Harry muttered, slightly strained. Who knew what other secrets the robes hid? Harry noticed Matt's stare glued to her chest, and elbowed him again. Matt quickly started.

"Yeah, I'm going to miss it boob-I mean TOO!" Matt quickly retrieved. Luna seemed to miss it, and Harry caught Matt's quick sigh of relief. Harry mirrored his relief. Pissing off Luna was not a thing smart men did. Because if you were a dumb man and did so, you quickly became a dumb woman, through forceful means.

"Well? Let's go! I heard Honeydukes is fantastic." Luna trotted off, leaving them both in the dust.

They were silent for a brief moment.

"Hot damn..." Matt muttered. Harry let out a breathy sigh.

"..what's the Muggle expression?" Harry pondered briefly. "Ah. Yes. I think I need a smoke." Matt patted his shoulder briefly.

"Yes you do, you unspeakably lucky bastard." Harry's head swerved around. "Because of the two of us, you're the only one with a chance of landing that. Mm, mm, mm!" Matt shook his head regretfully, and walked off in the direction Luna had, leaving a very confused Harry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day at school, they both held a new respect for their friend. As they traversed the halls, Matt and Harry hung a little back, so they could discuss this new, juicy piece of gossip. Luna walked a bit ahead of them, chatting animatedly with Cho Chang, a Chinese upper class girl.

"I bet you it's a D." Matt whispered, and Harry scoffed.

"Don't be ridiculous. She's three years to young for a D." Harry paused for a moment. "Right?"

"Seeing so, I'm not sure. How can you say that's not a D?" Matt hissed, pointing furtively at Luna. The robes concealed her mostly, but now that they looked, they could clearly see defined lines that marked the impressive chest.

"Do YOU know exactly what a D looks like?" Harry whispered. Matt looked at him, like he had just spoken the truth of the universe.

"You know, come to think, I haven't." Matt said thoughtfully. He shook it off, and gestured impatiently at Luna. "Well? What do you think?" Harry tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"B36." Harry said finally. Matt scoffed.

"Not a chance. At least a C cup." Harry glanced at him interestedly.

"Care to make that a wager? Say, 10 Galleons?" Harry drawled. Matt grinned and shook his hand.

"You've got a deal. I'll just sneak up to the girl's dormitories, and take a peek. Easy as pie." Harry snorted and turned away. He supposed he could tell Matt about the automatic defense in their stairs later. Or not at all.

They stepped into the DADA classroom, greeted by the sight of Lockhart beaming idiotically at them all. Well, not them all. His smile dimmed as he looked upon Harry.

In front of the classroom, a large covered cage stood. Harry sneaked a peak at it curiously. There were sounds of movement from within. Harry took a look around the classroom, and nearly groaned as he saw the fact that theyw ere sharing with the Gryffindors. Meaning Henry. Who sat there, smiling right back up at Lockhart with that stupid red gold patch in his hair.

Harry sat down, pausing briefly to remove the disillusioned whoopie cushion on his chair and throw it aside, much to the disgruntlment of several Gryffindors. Honestly, a whoopie cushion? What were they, seven?

"Now class, today, you're going to be faced with quite a challenge-" Lockhart began.

Not likely. Thought Harry, cynically.

"You'll be meeting one of the fiercest creatures known to wizards all around the globe. Their very presence brings fear into the heart of the most battle hardened warriors." Some of the students began to look a mite bit apprehensive.

Lockhart placed his hand dramatically on the cloth. "I give you-" He threw it off, revealing a multitude of blue skinned, winged creatures. "-Cornish pixies!"

There was total silence in the classroom, before Matt broke it by doubling over laughing, followed shortly by the rest of the class. Lockhart wagged a finger at them.

"Don't be fooled by their angelic appearance. They're right tricky buggers! Now-" Before anyone could react, he flung open the cage and started running out. "Defend yourselves!" He slammed the door shut.

The pixies immediately started swarming out, causing mayhem on a General scale. The trio's wands were instantly in their hands, Stunning or otherwise incapacitating any pixies that dared veer too close.

"There's too many of them!" Matt growled, shooting a stunner at one that zoomed at him. It missed. Matt jumped on the table, and grabbed a notebook, and winged it at the flying pixie. It struck it on the noggin, and the pixie careened to the floor, unconscious.

"True. What shall we do about it?" Luna replied. A pixie zipped at her face, and tugged her hair, and she responded by grabbing it by the ear and giving it a slap that likely dislodged it's jaw. It flew to the other side of the room, hitting a blackboard, before slumping to the floor.

"Nice arm." Harry complimented idly. He was much more caught up in watching as the pixies lifted his wayward brother, and administered a nuclear wedgie via the large skeleton hanging from the ceiling.

"Good one, Luna." Matt seconded, neatly de-winging a pixie with a cutting curse. "So, are we going to stay here? It'll take forever to get rid of them all."

Harry snorted. "What are you, a Gryffindor? Let them go around and be brave and all that shit. I'm getting out of here. This isn't worth my time." Harry began making his way towards the door, all the while, calling out. "Ravenclaws! Follow me!"

The Ravenclaws began extricating them from the mess of pixies, bringing up the rear and freeing fellow house members. Luna and Matt brought up the rear of their small compadry. Harry glimpsed Luna Stunning a pixie that was pulling a Ravenclaw around by the ears, and Matt wrestling one out of another's robes.

Harry quickly pushed open the door, and the Ravenclaws stampeded out, the end brought up by Luna and Matt, who blasted two pixies who attempted a bid for freedom. Harry kicked the door shut, fully aware it slammed in a few fleeing Gryffindor's faces. Pointing his wand at the door, he yelled.

"Fervefacio!"

A white hot flame shot out of the end of his wand, and Harry slowly moved it along the crack of the door, the metal edges drooping and mixing together. He let the flame die out, before pointing again.

"Frigus!"

The Cooling Charm blew out of his wand, cooling the hot metal rapidly, turning it back to it's dull bronze color. There were several pounds on the door, undoubtedly attempts to open it.

"Let us out!" Harry could distinctly recognize it as Ron Weasley's voice. There was a rather high pitched scream, and the pounding lessened slightly.

Harry tapped on the door regretfully. "Sorry, old chap, but my wand appears to have slipped and accidentally trapped you in there. Nasty bit of luck, that." There was assorted chuckling from the Ravenclaws assembled.

Matt took up a place at the front of the door, and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Still! It'll give you a chance to exercise your bravery and courage! We'll all be rooting for you!" More laughter.

Harry turned back to the Ravenclaws. "Well, that was quite amusing. How much time does that leave us?"

Luna rolled back her sleeve, revealing a watch. "About...thirty minutes."

"Cool. Well, off to the common room. Wouldn't want to interrupt their heroism and all." Matt quipped. They all shuffled off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The news of Lockhart's 'lesson' spread to other parts of the school rapidly. Mainly, because one of the Gryffindors managed to blast the door open. Unfortunately, plenty of the pixies had escaped, resulting in a very angry Filch.

Harry found it rather amusing, considering he spotted Peeves in a deserted corridor, apparently recruiting them, and leading them, like some ethereal Hitler. The pranks and General debauchery had increased almost twofold from there on.

So now, he was sitting idly in his chair by the common room fire, watching as his and Matt's bet was played out.

Matt had actually had some foresight, and had snuck his broom up to the common room. Matt mounted it and giggled slightly, disillusioning himself.

Harry waited expectantly as he floated up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. He waited for a few minutes, and checked his watch. No reaction.

Suddenly, there was muffled shouting, and a shrill shriek. Harry watched slightly amused as Matt yelped out a curse and came rolling down the stairs, and landed in a heap at Harry's feet.

Harry nudged Matt with his foot. Matt groaned slightly, and grinned weakly up at Harry.

"You...owe me...10 Galleons...bastard..." Matt presented for Harry to inspect one lavender bra.

Harry scrutinized it carefully. C28. Damn. On second thought, Harry shrugged. Totally worth it.

Luna came rushing down the stairs, her face red as a beet. She spotted Harry looking askance at her bra, and her face flushed even more.

She approached and quickly snatched it out of Matt's hand. She gave him a evil eye, and a bead of cold sweat rushed down Harry's temple.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" She hissed.

Harry took a brief glance at the crumpled form of Matt at his feet.

"Nope." He replied. Luna lost a bit of heat, before viciously kicking Matt in his unprotected groin. Harry winced slightly as Matt yowled out a cry of pain, before curling protectively around his family jewels.

As soon as she left, Harry left 10 Galleons by the curled form of Matt.

"Cost to value, mate. Cost to value." Harry admonished playfully. Matt groaned and scooped up the Galleons, looking very downtrodden, as was usually the case when someone got rocked in the balls, really hard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There is a very good saying about plans, and how well they work out. Even the best plan only works until the first arrow leaves the bow. And with this particular plan, this turned out to be true.

"Fucking Luna, fucking bet, fucking favor." Matt grumbled incessantly as he walked down the corridor. He was in a very foul mood.

The week after the little stunt and bet, Luna had had him by the metaphorical balls. He had well and truly become her bitch, on pain of her leaking his little theft to the rest of the female population. And Matt had had no choice but to comply. After all, he would be out of luck for likely the rest of his stay at Hogwarts if word got out that he was a panty raider. Matt was beginning to wish he had betted more on it.

So now, it was all, 'Oh Matt, can you brew this potion for me?', or 'Matt, be a dear and write this essay, would you?'. And more currently, 'Matt, you wouldn't mind running down to Charms? I seem to have forgotten my textbook.'

To which Matt had replied through very tightly gritted teeth.

"Yes, of course, it would be no trouble at all."

The unspoken 'mistress' part had been left unsaid.

So here he was, stalking through the corridors, almost being curfew, missing the feast, for what? A fucking textbook the woman had probably left there on purpose!

Matt rounded the corridor-

And came upon Justin Finch-Fletchley?, Petrified, and Nearly Headless Nick, suspended in midair.

Matt froze for a second. There was one thought running through his mind, and that was, What the Fuck?

Matt peered anxiously around. His grandfather's wand was already drawn, and he had a ready stance. He was not one of the fools believing a student could do this, but he was fairly sure that whatever was doing it was dangerous and very sneaky. Matt took a brief glance at the victims. It looked like they were both Petrified with looks of terror on their faces.

Voices sounded from around the corner, and thinking fast, Matt Disillusioned himself. Harry was in enough shit as it was. He did not need people running around thinking that Harry had ordered him, like some baby Death Eater, to attack the students. For a moment, amusement washed over him. Yeah, that's me. Matt thought wryly. Slytherin's monster.

Matt's form disappeared from view just as Henry Potter and Ron Weasley came barreling around the corner, wands drawn. Both the glory-seekers gasped as they surveyed the scene.

"Bloody hell!" Ron bellowed, and Matt winced slightly. Were all Gryffindor's so utterly obnoxious?

Yes.

"Two more to the Heir of Slytherin..." Henry muttered darkly, his wand pointing around at any shadow that moved. "I wonder how Harry managed to order the monster from all the way from the Great Hall..." Ron looked at him, slight hesitation on his face.

"I dunno, mate. I mean, he was just eating when we left. Wasn't muttering any dark curses under his breath or anything. And unless he was hiding his wand in his chicken leg, he didn't have it out." Henry rounded on his follower.

"What are you going on about?" Henry protested. He waved his wand wildly at the scene. "This is obviously Harry's doing! I mean-" Henry leaned closer almost conspiratorially. "-he's a Parcelmouth."

"Are you sure, mate? I mean, you sure it's not Malfoy just blowing steam?" Ron asked. Henry looked at him as if he'd been struck. Matt held in a snort. He obviously wasn't used to opposition on the home front.

"No, I'm sure. I've been suspicious about these weird hissing noises from Harry's room for a long time!" Ron's face lost his doubt.

"Okay, Henry. So what do we do?" Henry pointed down the corridor, and Matt stiffened, even though Henry couldn't possibly know he was pointing straight at him.

"We've got to go report this to Dumbledore!" Matt was off down the corridor before they could even begin.

It took Matt less than three minutes to get back, and he dashed over to Harry's side, disillusioning himself right before he opened the Great Hall doors.

"Harry. Harry!" Matt hissed. Harry obviously caught the serious undertone, and turned.

"What?" He asked. Matt noticed his right hand drifting towards where he kept his wand.

"Two more." Matt didn't have to elaborate on what he was talking about. Harry's face darkened, and his fist clenched.

"Shit."

They both watched as Henry and Ron rejoined the feast, dashing quickly up to the teacher's table and talking to Dumbledore. Harry noticed quite easily how the easygoing Headmaster's eyes almost instantly flicked to him, before leaving just as quickly. Harry's eyes narrowed. So even the old coot suspected him! Dumbledore! Albus let's-give-everyone-a-second-chance Dumbledore!

The Headmaster rose quickly to his feet, tapping his goblet with his wand, the chimes ringing through the hall like a Chinese gong.

"I'm afraid a grave matter has occurred. Please follow all prefects to your dormitories." Murmurs sprang up like rabbits in mating season, and many, many eyes turned on Harry. Those were the exact same words Dumbledore had used when Colin Creevey had been found. It was a good thing Harry's eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses, or he would have likely turned the entire hall into a giant student popsicle.

Harry forced himself to turn around stiffly, not letting any of his cold fury color through to his face. He walked behind the prefects, not turning left or right.

"What are we going to do, Harry?" Luna seemed to appeared straight out of thin air, from the way she materialized at his side, one arm on his shoulder comfortingly.

Harry barked a bitter laugh, leading many students around him to look at him fearfully, as if he'd whistle up Slytherin's monster any instant.

"Isn't it obvious, Luna?" Harry asked quietly, a tiny bit of his chilly rage filtering through his iron calm. Yes, calm. Harry was not one to let emotions affect him when things required a clear head. "We're going to find it; find Slytherin's monster. And we're going to kill it. Before one of these bigots decides that I'm a security risk and ships me off to Azkaban."

To her credit, Luna only smiled slightly, serenity seemingly flowing from her every pore. One of the things he loved about her, she almost never lost her head. "When do we start?"

Harry's fist clenched until it was white at the knuckles. "Tonight."

Because no one messes with me. Not Henry, not some monster, not the entire world.

Harry's old mind had been submerged. A harder, more calculating mind had emerged from the rubble, hard as diamond and smooth as silk. He was a tactician. And this was war.

This creature, this so-called Heir of Slytherin had just issued the gauntleted slap across the face. Him and his creature had been a fucking thorn in his side for all this time, and now that they had danced, it was time to pay the fucking piper. And Harry was going to make sure the price was fucking expensive.

"Matt, get me every book on serpents that have Petrifying abilities. Ico, you're sure it's a snake?" Matt nodded and strode off into the Library.

Harry, Matt and Luna had barricaded themselves in the Library. To the passing students, it looked more like they were planning a war from the hard expressions on their faces. They often shivered at the sight of Ico curled up on top of the large table they had spread the books on.

"Posssitive. That sssnake's sscent hass been all over each ssscene." Harry nodded.

"Right. Luna, are there any more books with mentions of the Chamber in them?" Luna looked up from the history book she was leafing through.

"Hogwarts: A History suggests the Biography of Salazar Slytherin and Serpent Lore through the Ages." The dirty blond girl reported cheerfully. Harry nodded.

Harry strode quickly over to a large billboard he had transfigured from cardboard. He took his eagle feather quill and quickly scratched the names of the books on the board.

So caught up in his task, he almost didn't notice the people approaching.

"What exactly do you want?" Harry asked coolly. Cho Chang and Mariette Edgecombe were standing there, fidgeting slightly with a few other students. "As you can see-" Harry waved a hand at the strewn books and papers. "-We're rather busy."

"I-we-" Cho waved a hand at the students. "-don't believe you're the Heir of Slytherin or any coddleswap like that. We want to help you."

Harry raised a eyebrow. "Help me what?" Cho countered his eyebrow with one of her own, and pointed at the bollboard.

It clearly read: Operation Snakehunt.

"That was Matt's idea, but I suppose it gets the point across." Harry informed her tartly. "And let's recap-why exactly would you want to help me? You'll all be treated like shit by association." Harry watched as Edgecombe nodded, and was quickly swatted in the back of the head by Chang.

"You're a Ravenclaw, Harry." She began.

"Really?!" Harry asked incredulously. He looked down in mock wonder at his robes, and slapped his head and pointed at the emblem on his robes. "Why, so I am! Your grasp of the obvious inspires me, Chang. Anything else?"

Cho didn't glare or insult him back, as he expected. Unlike some of those with her.

"We don't think it's right how people are treating you. We want to help you clear your name."

Harry looked at her flatly. "Because Ravens stick together? Please, if that's-" Harry was bluntly interrupted by a swift swat from Luna.

"Don't mind him. He's just grumpy." Luna informed them. "Of course you can help." Harry settled for glaring at her, before letting it go with a sigh. It would do no good against her. Luna was the only one with enough balls in the entire school to flat out interrupt him like that.

"Right, thanks Luna." Cho said. She started introductions. "This is Mariette Edgecombe."

Edgecombe gave a noncommittal grunt of acknowledgement.

"-here's Cedric Diggory." A rather handsome upperclassman smiled and extended his hand.

"Nice to meet you." Luna smiled and shook it, which annoyed Harry for some reason he couldn't explain.

"Likewise."

"Here's Susan Bones. Amelia Bones's niece? You know, the Head of Magical Defense in the Ministry?" Harry dimly recalled the name, from some newspaper or another.

"I've always been brought up to look at things arbitrarily." She put in. Luna shook her hand too.

"Nice to hear." Luna replied. Matt chose that moment to walk back in.

"Right I've got th-eeeeellllo, what's all this now?" Matt gesticulated wildly, waving the two rather thick tomes. Harry sighed and pushed back his chair. He extended his sleeve, and Ico slithered up it, winding himself around his torso like always. Matt pointed accusingly at him.

"Where the hell are you going?" Harry gave him a bored look, and held up a copy of Hogwarts: A History.

"Says here that the monster from before was a Acromantula. Also, fifty years ago, the student was expelled . Who's the only person who's dumb enough to keep a Acromantula in school grounds?" Matt thought for a second, before a look of dawning comprehension.

"Oooooh!" He exclaimed. Harry smirked.

"That's right. Hagrid. You and Luna keep looking with our new volunteers here. I'm going to go give Hagrid a little interview."

As Harry walked away, he could barely hear Matt muttering.

"Hagrid better have good medical insurance..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry rapped firmly on Hagrid's door. It was getting rather dark outside, and getting darker, in the dimming light of the falling twilight. Harry gathered his robes tighter around his person.

Hearing no answer, he knocked firmly again. Harry waited impatiently, tapping his foot. It was getting rather colder in the year, but Harry hardly noticed.

Finally, the door opened, revealing Hagrid. Harry stared quite openly.

Hagrid was a wreck. His eyes were droopy and red, and he was holding a tissue-which quite frankly looked like a tablecloth-to his face, dabbing at his eyes.

Harry tried to explain his surprise in as gentle a manner as possible.

"Hagrid, you look like shit."

Or not.

"Ah kno'." Hagrid sniffed. He waved a large meaty hand at his cabin. "Well, come on in. Ah'l make some tea and rockcakes."

"Erhm...yes on the tea, no thanks on the rockcakes, I just ate." Hagrid accepted this easily. Harry took a seat in one of the large, comfy armchairs that populated the small cabin. "So what's got you like this, man?"

"I'm b-being s-s-sacked." Hagrid mumbled, before setting out in big, ripping sobs that nearly shook the cabin. Harry merely leaned back in his chair.

"Really? Why?" Harry asked, taking a quick sip of tea.

Hagrid looked very hesitant all of a sudden. "W-well. You see, there was this accident all back fifty years ago-" Harry waved a careless hand at him.

"The Chamber Incident? I know you were the student convicted." Hagrid's face turned to one of shock.

"H-how? They kept me name out of the books, Dumbledore said so..."

Harry smiled slightly. "Who else would be mad enough to keep a Acromantula, Hagrid? Add that to the fact you were expelled exactly when the incident took place, and then it was just putting two and two together."

Hagrid looked abashed for a second. "Ah guess you would'a foun' out sooner or later. You're a bright kid, Harry. You're worth ten'a your brother, Boy-Who-Lived? nonsense be damned. Righ', it was me. With all this who-doo about the monster being back, they're sending me off. To Azkaban."

Harry floundered in shock for a brief second. "Azkaban? Is the committee completely mental?" Harry hissed. "You were discharged years ago,-" By Dumbledore no doubt. Harry added mentally. Probably wanted another loyal pawn. Damn old manipulating bastard. "-They're just using you for a scapegoat! They've got no proof!"

"Ah kno'." Hagrid said glumly. "But it's jus' for a coupla months! Dumbledore'll clear me name. He's a right good man, he is." Harry sighed and kneaded his temples. It seemed Hagrid was well and truly immersed in the cult of Coot.

"Right, whatever. Listen, what else do you know about the Incident?" Hagrid adapted a guarded look.

"Harry, you're a righ' bright kid, but a little too curious for yer own good. You shou' stay out'a that business, Harry." Harry mentally cursed himself, and took a different approach.

Sorry Hagrid, but this fucker's got to pay. "No, no Hagrid, I'm not trying to pry. I'm just trying to clear my name. They're all treating but horribly because I'm a Parcelmouth." Harry adopted a downtrodden look. He felt a twinge of guilt for manipulating Hagrid like this, but he quickly squashed it. Harry looked up, and saw the pitying look on Hagrid's face and knew he had succeeded.

"Well, ya kno' that prefect who-er-caught me? 'Is name was Riddle. Tom Riddle. 'Nother righ' bright kid, just like you Harry. 'Cept-" Hagrid's face darkened. "-He was a right bastar', he was. Dunno where he went after Hogwarts."

Harry masked his shock with the ease of long practice. "Well, actually, that's not what I wanted to know about. I heard there was some girl who got killed. Might you know...?" Harry mentally counted to ten. He wondered briefly if his suspicions could be correct.

"Yeah...yeah, I heard abou' that. Got murdered. Righ' in a bathroom. What was 'er name?" Hagrid pondered. "Maggie? Mindy? Myr-" Harry eyes widened, but before Hagrid could finish, there were three brisk taps at the door.

Hagrid got up quickly and opened the door. Albus Dumbledore stepped in, eyes twinkling like bloody stars, followed shortly by Lucius Malfoy, in all his sneering glory. Harry sat his cup of tea on the table as Dumbledore addressed him.

"Harry m'boy!" The Headmaster greeted jovially. "What a pleasant suprise! Might I inquire as to your purpose here?" Harry felt Malfoy's eyes on him, and he stood up, purposefully meeting Dumbledore in the eyes.

There was a slight tickle at the edge of his mind, and Harry allowed the small tendril in, poking it's curious nose in. Right before Harry slammed his shields into place, viciously snapping the connection. Harry had the pleasure of seeing Dumbledore flinch, ever so slightly.

"Certainly, Headmaster. I am right in the process of leaving." Harry replied coolly, before brushing past both older wizards without a second glance, heading out into the now howling cold winds.

"Good night to you both."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Moaning Myrtle?"

Matt's tone was incredulous. In a way, he had good right to be. Who would suspect the resident laughingstock phantom of the girl's bathroom to be the keystone of a huge conspiracy?

"Yes. She was the student killed in the bathroom. By the monster." Harry explained impatiently. Their entire little compadrie was walking through the hall. Harry leading.

"But what could she tell us? How could she help us?" Cedric asked. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Let's play a game, Diggory. I ask you a question, and you answer. Now. What is a ghost?" Harry could feel the boy's eyes on him, perplexed.

"Erhm...a dead person?" He put out heisitantly.

"A sentient imprint of a dead person on the physical world?" Cho elaborated.

Harry snapped his fingers. "Good. Now. How do ghosts become ghosts?"

"They're killed or they die of natural causes." Edgecombe spoke up. She sounded a bit sullen. No doubt she felt there were better places to be.

"Partly right. They are given a choice at the edge of the abyss, to stay in the world or pass on, and choose to stay due to lingering doubts or things still needed done." Harry waved a hand behind him. "Now. Myrtle was killed. By the monster. What do you think she might have seen?"

"She might of seen...the monster! What it is! Or perhaps, where it came from! The location of the Chamber of Secrets!" Bones finally got out. Harry let out a deep sigh.

"Yes, yes, cookies for all of you. Wait, scratch that. Cookies for none of you. Which might well be a cause for joy, if you don't like cookies, no?" Harry dejectedly said. "I'm suprised you took so long."

Harry pushed open the door to the girl dormitories without a second thought. They all strode in. There was a muffled wailing from around the U-bend, before Myrtle blasted out of one of the stalls and came to rest, floating in front of them. She watched them all with mild depression.

"What are you all here for? Come to laugh at me like all those others? Laugh at fat, stupid, ugly-"

"Myrtle." Harry interrupted impatiently. Given free rein, the pessimistic ghost might have gone on all day. "How exactly did you die?"

The ethereal girl's demeanor changed completely. She became rather cheerful, something that was mildly disgusting, in Harry's eyes.

"Oh, it was ho-o-o-oo-o-o-rrible!" She squealed. Harry watched as Matt and Cedric suppressed retches with difficult in amusement. Myrtle pointed a finger at a stall down at the end. "I had went to cry in that stall after I was insulted again, but then, the stall opened, and I saw these two big, scary yellow eyes, before I simply...faded..." Harry took a tiny step back, since Myrtle had a disturbingly ecstatic look on her face, like she was about to explode in her ghostly knickers.

"...Right, and where exactly did the big eyes come from?" Harry asked. Matt and Cedric looked a tad green, and the girls weren't faring much better.

"Right down there." Myrtle pointed down way, at the sinks. She settled back into floating position.

"I hate you. I wish you'd just gone ahead and passed on." Harry said flatly. Myrtle's face teared up, and she disappeared back into the U-bend, wailing. Harry and the whole party breathed sighs of relief.

"Merlin, she's annoying." Luna breathed. There were General nods of agreement.

Harry headed over to the sinks, searching for anything out of the ordinary.

"Harry, honestly, you really think the entrance to one of Hogwarts biggest secrets is in a girl's bathroom?" Matt asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, now shut the door." Harry said impatiently. Matt rolled his eyes and shut the girl's bathroom door, replacing the Out of Order sign in a stroke of cleverness.

He didn't have to look far. Right under one of the nozzles, stood out a small, black snake.

"Stand back, everyone." Harry warned, and everyone took large steps back. "Open!" Harry hissed.

There was a rumbling sound, and the ground shook slightly beneath their feet. The sinks separated and moved outwards, before locking in place. In the middle, where the sinks once stood, there was a gaping chasm.

No one spoke for a moment.

"Holy shit." Matt whispered. Harry nodded.

"I wonder how far down it goes...?" Luna wondered, pacing over to stare down the chasm. Harry threw out a hand.

"No! No closer!" He yelled.

Too late. With a shriek, Luna tipped, windmilling her arms, on the oily edge. Harry's wand leapt into his wand of it's own accord, and with a swish and a flick, Luna was suspended, neck deep in the hole, floating in midair.

"Harry! Get me out of here!" Luna shrieked, her hand flailing and grabbing at the edges. Harry complied, easily lifting her out of the hole and depositing her on the floor.

"Right. Let's all stay the fuck away from the big fucking chasm!" Matt announced hoarsely. Everyone took a extra step back.

"I doubt that Salazar Slytherin would dain to go down a grease slide every time he wanted some alone time." Harry pondered aloud. Experimentally, he tried a few commands. "Door." Nothing. Not a whisper. "Entrance?" Still, the hole remained non responsive. "Elevator?" Harry tried, only slightly joking. "Stairs?"

The hole widened considerably, before a winding staircase sprouted from it, extending, with no visible end in sight. Harry, keeping careful attention to his footing, peered over the edge. Darkness. Harry retreated cautiously back to safer ground.

"So what now? Do we go down and kill it?" Cedric asked. Matt whirled on him.

"Are you retarded, Cedric?" Matt asked. Matt pointed back at the stalls. "Myrtle said that thing killed with a glance. I'm thinking that there's more than just some moldy old garden snake down there. There is a fucking basilisk down there!"

"How would the others have survived then?" Cho queried. Harry spoke aloud, working it out as they went along.

"Norris...there was water in the corridor...Reflections, that's it!" Harry shouted suddenly, slamming his fist into his palm. "None of them saw the thing head on! Creevey saw it through his camera, Finch-Fletchey? through the Gryffindor's ghost, Norris on the reflections in the water. They all saw reflections of the eyes."

"We should tell Dumbledore!" Mariette piped up. Harry immediately fixed her with a steely glare.

"We will not tell Dumbledore. Whoever this bloody Heir is, he's just fucked up my life, and I'm going to kill his pet monster." Harry hissed. There was a small whimper from Luna that instantly drew his attention. He turned to her. "What's wrong?"

"It's my hand. I cut it pretty bad on the edge." Luna held up her hand. There was a nasty gash across the palm. Matt stepped forward.

"I've got something...here." Matt pulled out a small flask. Matt turned to Harry. "Can I have a bowl please?"

Wordlessly, Harry waved his wand, and a large Conjured wooden basin appeared on the floor. Matt took the flask and poured a murky lime green liquid into it.

"Stick your hand into that. It's Cutbane mixed with murtlap essence." Luna did, and sighed pleasantly.

"That feels positively divine. Thanks, Matt. You're not my bitch any more." Matt nodded, and silently pumped a fist in victory, while simultaneously seemingly not hearing Cedric's snickers.

"Right. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to brush up on basilisks, and prepare, maybe some potions and poisons. Then, we're going to go down, and very carefully kill it, preferably in it's sleep." Harry held up a hand, and glared at Edgecombe. "Tell Dumbledore, and you had better sleep with one eye open. For the rest of your life." The girl shut her mouth.

Harry turned to the open stairs. "Close." With rumbling and grinding of stones, the entrance shut quickly. "Now, if you decide to tell Dumbledore, you had better develop Parcelmouth abilities somewhere along the way, because the only one opening this thing is me. We go when I say we go. Then, when we kill it, then we tell Dumbledore, and hence, clear my name."

Harry smirked silently to himself. Payback is a bitch, O Heir of Slytherin, and I am her master.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The servant entered the room in the pleasant daze as always. She never remembered what she did here, because it was simply not necessary to remember.

The servant liked it that way.

As she opened the secret place, she let out a wail of dismay at what she found.

"Master!" She wailed, in high pitched Parceltongue. "Someone has tainted the secret place!"

A series of wracking pains coursed through her body, her Master's punishment. Her grip remained iron bound on the small leather notebook in her right hand.

"Forgive me!" She sobbed helplessly. "I'll find them, I swear!"

The pains eventually ceased, leaving her panting on the floor of the dingy bathroom. She started mumbling to herself, as if there were a person right beside her.

"Yes...yes...Master...I'll...find their scent...track them down...then drag them down...to the secret place..."

And for a moment, there was.

"Of course, sweet Ginny." Tom crooned. "And then we'll be together forevermore."

Their plan advanced by leaps and bounds.

"The weak point on a basilisk is directly under the neck!" Matt yelled, from somewhere behind a shelf of books. Madam Pince gave them a glare.

"NO YELLING IN THE LIBRARY!" She screeched. Harry, ignoring her, scribbled the tidbit onto the paper. Cedric, across from him, was flipping through a book and mumbling to himself.

"Basilisk...basilisk...here!" Cedric pointed to a page. "Right, their scales are weak against fire." Harry nodded and tabbed it down.

Cho Chang made a entrance, followed by Susan Bones, both carrying a large scroll. Harry noticed a certain missing person.

"Where's Luna?" Cho quickly set the scroll onto the table.

"In the infirmary, getting that wound treated. Here's the pictogram. I hope you appreciate the outrageous bullshit we had to do to get Lockhart to sign that damn sheet." Harry waved a hand distractedly.

"You didn't have to get flirty with him, if that's what you did. That prat'll sign anything in quill distance if it stands still long enough." Harry remarked. Cho cheeks flushed, along with Susan's. "And where's Edgecombe?" Harry snapped.

"She backed out." Cho admitted reluctantly. Harry shrugged.

"Whatever. Did you hear the news?" Harry was not all that worried. He was fairly sure that the girl wouldn't go babbling to a teacher.

"What news?" Susan asked curiously. Harry smirked slightly.

"Dumbledore got suspended." Both girls gasped. Harry chuckled slightly. "I know. Even the Ministry shouldn't be so stupid as to take the most powerful wizard in Britain out of here when shit like this is going on. Dumbledore's curled up nice and cozy in Azkaban at the moment. Edgecombe won't squeal without him here."

Harry spread the scroll out in both directions. It revealed a large diagram of a basilisk. Harry tapped the eyes with his wand. A paragraph of text appeared at the bottom, detailing out the strengths and defenses of the eyes. Harry smirked.

"Right, you two keep working. Don't forget to keep your mirrors handy."

Harry and the entire party had agreed to carry small hand mirrors around with them, as a flimsy defense against the basilisk. Admittedly, this would still leave them quite vulnerable should the basilisk get peckish, but then, they were pretty much fucked because of the venom anyway.

"Where are you going?" Matt's shaggy brown head peeked out from behind a large text. Harry cocked his head slightly, a bit uncomfortable.

"I'm going to go visit Luna." Harry admitted reluctantly. Matt nodded as if nothing were amiss, and snapped the text shut.

"Me too, then. I've got some Honeydukes chocolates left over."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Madam Pomfrey?"

The old Mediwitch did not look up from the cauldren she was stirring. She had her finger on a line of text and was muttering incomprehensively to herself. Matt peered over the rim, and mouthed the words 'mandrake draught' to him over the rather audible bubbling and hissing of the potion. Makes sense, with all the Petrified patients, I suppose. Harry thought.

Harry exchanged looks with Matt. Harry reached over and nudged the elderly healer.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Her head snapped up, with her blinking and shooting glances at the potion all the while.

"Yes, yes what? What?" She snapped. She waved a hand at the incomplete antidote. "I'm rather busy."

"Where is Luna?" Harry asked, in a pleasant tone. She frowned.

"Isn't she in her bed, letting the Cutbane and blood clotting and flesh sewing potions work?" Pomfrey asked, in a slightly confused tone.

"No." Harry replied, gritting his teeth slightly. "She's not in the Hospital Wing at all." Harry restrained himself from hissing the last part.

Madam Pomfrey's face darkened, and she waved her wand at the enourmous spoon she was using to stir, which began stirring of it's own accord. She billowed out of her dormitory and into the Wing, her baleful gaze searching among the immobile Petrified patients.

"Of all the...I told her to stay put!" The Mediwitch snapped. "The potions don't work well in motion, that silly air-headed foolish..." Madam Pomfrey broke off into a dark mumbling rant that grew quieter until it died completely. She stormed out of the Hospital Wing, waving her wand. Harry and Matt, both exchanging slightly bemused looks, simply followed.

"It's a good thing I place tracking charms on my patients when I admit them." Madam Pomfrey explained quickly. "She's not the first student who's tried to skip early, and when I get my hands on her, ooh!"

The Mediwitch rounded the way to the first floor dormitory, then stopped abruptly. She whirled on them.

"Why are you two following me?" She snapped. "Don't you have schoolwork and such? Go on, get!" Both boys shrugged, and turned around.

Just as they were about to head back, they heard a startled shriek from around the corner.

Both boys turned on their heels, and peeked their heads around the corner. What they found was quite a shock.

Madam Pomfrey had stopped dead in the corridor. She, along with Professor McGonnagal?, Flitwick, Snape, and Lockhart, were staring, transfixed at the place where the first warning from the Heir of Slytherin had been inscribed. It had long been wiped off, of course, since bloody threats on walls were not tolerated.

Of course, this was a different case when a new message replaced it.

TWO GIRLS HAVE BEEN TAKEN, ONE IN SACRIFICE, ONE IN PUNISHMENT. THEIR SKELETON'S SHALL LIE IN THE CHAMBER FOREVER.

"Merlin...Minerva, it can't be true! Who?" The normally very somber Transfiguration Mistress looked especially grave, and nodded very slowly.

"It is true. We found drops of their blood in vials under the message. Two girls have gone missing in Hogwarts. One is Ginny Weasley. And the other..." Harry felt his stomach drop into his testicles as a horrible sinking feeling rose in his throat.

"Is Luna Lovegood."

Harry could not help it; His vision filmed over red, and a terrible rage swept through his senses, driving all coherent thought out of his mind entirely. His hand clenched up, his teeth clicked together in a feral, silent snarl. He dimly heard the Deputy Headmistress talking.

"...We'll have to notify their parents. They'll certainly send the Headmaster back now; This is proof that we need him here. I've already Flooed the Minister..."

Dumbledore! For the love of God, did McGonnagell? have no independent thoughts of her own? She couldn't be more his puppet if she had danced for him! Harry's breath came out in short, shallow pants through his nostrils.

"Harry. Harry!" Matt hissed. "We've got to get out of here before they notice us!"

The Heir of Slytherin had just crossed the line. Harry could feel every drop of blood in his body screaming for vengeance and retribution. He had not just taken anyone; He had taken Luna.

"Harry! Oh, fuck it." Matt muttered, before quickly taking him by the arm, and dragging him around a corner, disillusioning him on the way. The teachers all swept by without a second glance.

"...They'll probably close Hogwarts after this, what a terrible tragedy..."

A harsh punch across the face brought the world back to Harry with a slight pop. Harry fingered the bruise on the side of his cheek, noting dimly that it had knocked his sunglasses off, before looking at Matt.

"Get it together, dude! Luna needs us right now." Matt whispered intensely.

A sharp pain in his hands brought his gaze to his palms. There were deep gashes. Apparently he had clenched too hard. Thin streams of blood trickled from them.

Harry stood up, brushing himself off.

"Thank you, Matt." He answered coolly. No, not coolly. Icily. He was ice. He was cold as ice. He was colder than ice. He was the living embodiment of frost. "Come. We musn't wait a single moment."

Harry's foot turned the corner, smashing his sunglasses underfoot. He ripped a piece of parchment from his binder before he flung it aside. He began writing as fast as he could, scribbling furiously.

"Harry, we can't go rushing in there, it's suicide!" Matt protested. Harry barely even heard him.

"Ico, find Cedric and Cho and give them this." Harry commanded, holding out the piece of parchment. Ico's scaled head emerged from the sleeve, snatching the parchment, before the familiar shot off, slithering as fast as possible. Even the sassy snake knew not to fuck around in this situation.

"No, it's not. Every second that we delay makes the probability that Luna is dead larger. This Heir has just made the biggest mistake he will ever make. He has assumed that no one knows where his precious Chamber is. So we'll have a advantage if we strike now." Harry turned the corner, and kicked open the girls dormitories.

"Shouldn't we wait for the others?" Matt had seemingly given up arguing, having drawn his wand.

"Open!" Harry hissed. The sinks locked out of place, and the gaping chasm opened in the middle. "No. That note I just sent will have them coming. We have the element of surprise and reinforcements." Harry grabbed Matt's sleeve and dragged him towards the hole.

"Wait, what about the stairs!" Matt half screamed, before Harry yanked him and threw him into the hole.

"Son of a bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-itcccccchhh-!"

Harry waited a single second before gathering a breath and jumping in right after him.

Harry had to school his mouth to stillness to prevent not screaming like Matt. The stench of the tunnel was putrid, the grease was disgusting, and the constant and sudden turns played hell with his bowels.

The tunnel ride ended abruptly, with Harry landing unceremoniously on his arse in a pile of bones. Harry picked himself up, dusting his robes off. Nearby, Matt was leaning against a wall, a rather peeved expression on his face.

"You could have told me about that before hand." Matt offered, rather heatedly. Harry shrugged, and started pressing forward.

They turned the corner, and both nearly had a heart attack when they saw a huge, shriveled snake skin lying immobile in the dank passageway.

"Shit...that thing is HUGE!" Matt whispered. Harry nodded in mute agreement.

"It's just a skin. Let's keep moving." Harry walked past the skin, taking care not to touch it. It never hurt to be too careful.

The ground was wet against Harry loafers, and made crunching sounds as his feet connected with the deteriorating stone and mortar.

"Right...Harry, if the basilisk's awake, the first thing we need to do is find some way to take out the eyes. I suggest a Reducto or a Cutting Curse..."

"Mhmm."

"...And whoever this Heir is, he's more likely than not down here somewhere, we need to be ready for him..."

"Mhmm."

"...And then there's the problem of the basilisk itself; their hide is pretty spell resistant, and the venom'll kill you in less than a minute..."

"Mhmm."

"...Then we're going to wake up the Weasley girl and Luna and have a massive victory orgy..."

"Mhmm. Wait, what?" Harry turned around, and found Matt glaring at him.

"You weren't even listening! Harry, you've got to take this seriously!" Harry leveled a icy blue glare at him.

"I am taking this seriously. But every second we waste time-" Matt sighed explosively.

"Yes, I know, Harry. But Luna wouldn't want us to rush into this like a foolish Gryffindor. She'd-" He cut off, as they rounded the corner.

They were faced with a large obstacle, a huge gate with two snakes intertwined on it, and sculptures of snakes on the sides. Harry and Matt viewed it objectively.

"Well, that's definitely not the gift shop. Ready?" Harry cocked his head back at Matt. Matt readied his wand, and his face firmed up, and he nodded.

"Ready."

"Op-" Harry was cut off the few things in the world he loathed more than idiocy or Gwen Stefani.

"Ha! I knew it! I knew it!" Harry came about, to find Henry and Ron Weasley coming around from the corner they had previously came around. Henry had his wand out and was gesturing at him with it. "You're the Heir of Slytherin!"

"Henry, what the hell do you think you're doing here?" Harry asked exasperatedly. Ron stepped forward, his wand at the ready.

"We're here to catch you! You're the bastard who sicced the monster on Hermione!" Harry raised a eyebrow.

"Hermione? That muggleborn you hang out with and steal homework from? I couldn't give a flying fuck about her. And I'm not the Heir of Slytherin." Ron's face heisitated, and Henry stepped in.

"Liar! How did you know to come here, then?" Harry groaned in frustration. He did not have time for this!

"I figured it out on my own. Now get the fuck out of here! You'll only get in the way!"

Henry sneered. "As if! We're going to stop you, and drag you back up, and prove you're both Dark Wizards! Now, c-come on!" Henry pointed his wand at Harry. "D-drop your wand, and kick it over! We're going back up!" Nearby, Ron was holding Matt at wandpoint.

Harry caught Matt's eye. Matt nodded, ever so slightly. Their wands whipped forward as one.

"Percifus Totalus!" They both cried. Both Gryffindor's locked up like boards of wood, and fell to the ground.

Harry waggled a finger at them. "Now sit tight, while we save the day. I'm not suprised at you, Henry, but Ronald, I am honestly perplexed. I am here to save Luna and your sister. You should know better than to interrupt me." Ron's eyes widened in their frozen sockets. Apparently he hadn't known.

Harry and Matt dragged the two dead weights around the corner, before returning to the door. Harry stepped forward.

"Open!"

The two snakes jumped into animating, the metal serpents slithering around until they reached 180 degrees from where they had started. With a ancient rumble, the golden door split apart.

There was a great stone hall, with pools of water on the edges of each side, accentuated by identical statues of who Harry assumed to be Salazar Slytherin. At the end of the hall, there was a enormous head, assumedly also Salazar Slytherin.

"Wow...if this guy couldn't love his own image any more unless he turned it into a pussy...or maybe a cock. He does certainly seem to have a obsession with snakes." Matt whispered. Harry was not paying attention much to the statues.

He was paying a great deal more attention to the two immobile bodies laying on the floor of the Chamber, a length away.

"Keep your eyes open. Cover me." Harry hissed under his breath. Matt nodded, and they kept back to back, wands at the ready, until they reached the two terribly still forms of Luna and Ginerva Weasley.

Harry dropped to a crouch, shaking Luna by the shoulders.

"Luna. Luna!" Harry hissed. He pawed her cheek. She was a as cold as the stone she laid upon. Harry's breath caught in his throat, and his fingers automatically sought out the pulse in her neck.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Noth-there! A beat. Extremely weak, but still there.

"Hey Harry, check out this weird ass diary. The Weasley chick won't let go of it." Harry looked. Matt was tugging on a small leather diary, but the red head held it in a iron grip.

"Forget it!" Harry whispered, picking up Luna in the beginnings of a fireman's carry. "Just sling her over your shoulder, so we can get the hell out of here!"

"You're not going anywhere."

Harry cursed explosively, and turned about, nearly dropping Luna in the process. Matt was twisted around by Ginny, his wand in one hand and his Knife of the Living Dead in the other. It was good to see Matt had the forethought to bring it.

There was a dark haired boy, looking perhaps a fifth or sixth year, standing there, turning a wand slowly in his hands. He was wearing slightly old robes, and the crest on his chest was that of a Slytherin.

Harry eyes narrowed. "You're the so-called Heir of Slytherin." he spat.

There was a flash of annoyance in the boy's eyes. "Yes, I am the Heir of Slytherin."

"Who are you?" Harry snapped. The boy chuckled softly.

"My name...is Tom Riddle." Harry's eyes widened.

"That is impossible. Voldemort is currently in a spiritual form, a form less than human. He is certainly not in Hogwarts again. Dumbledore would have noticed." Harry was certain about that. For all the disgust he felt for the aged Headmaster, he could not deny that the man was a genius. He would've most certainly set up spirit detection wards around Hogwarts after last year.

"True enough, if I were a spirit. Alas, I am but a memory; a imprint, saved in that diary." The teenage Dark Lord pointed at the diary held tightly in the grip of the youngest Weasley. "But not much longer. With every passing second, I grow stronger. And thanks to your little girlfriend, I will come back even stronger than before."

"Lucky for me, I don't have to wait." Harry smiled coldly. "Matt, destroy the diary. Let's see how much of this guy is still just ink and imprints."

"Right!" Matt loomed over the diary, knife already raising.

Suddenly, the diary jumped open, and a blast of ink gushed out like a hose, straight into Matt's eyes.

"Sunuvabitch!" Matt swore, stumbling back. Riddle was already moving, turning to the great head at the end of the hall.

"Speak to me, Salazar Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts four!" The boy hissed in Parceltongue. Harry's eyes widened.

"Matt, get the fuck out of the way!" Harry yelled. Matt didn't question him, before leaping behind a statue into one of the pools of water.

A huge basilisk loomed out of the opening mouth. Harry raised one sleeve, making sure to keep his eyes down. Unfortunately, this brought his gaze directly to the monster's mouth, which did not to much for his nerves as it slithered closer and closer.

"Kill him." Tom hissed.

Harry pointed his wand and yelled a few curses. Bolts of light shot forth from his wand, bouncing off the scales. One lucky Stinging Hex lodged itself into the basilisk's open mouth. It let out a unearthly shriek, before ducking it's head, on the defensive.

Harry retreated behind a statue. There was splashing in one of the pools. Harry peeked around. Matt was hurriedly wiping off the ink.

"Harry, it won't come off! Fuck! It fucking stings like shit!"

"Just get out of the way!" Harry ordered. "You'll only be a hindrance if you're blind as a bat."

Matt nodded reluctantly and ducked and ran towards the exit, his eyes red as a pot smokers.

Harry looked heisitantly around the corner, making sure to keep his eyes low.

The basilisk was still writhing slightly. Suddenly, it stopped, and from what Harry could see, raised it's head slightly. Suddenly, another unearthly shriek emitted from it's maw. It was barely recognizable Parceltongue.

"Revenge!" It hissed. It whipped around.

Harry's eyes widened.

"Oh bugger."

The massive tail of the basilisk came to bear, smashing through the statues like cheap rice paper. Harry dove for safety, but one of the flying Salazar torsos rammed into his midsection, throwing him across the Chamber and into the main passage, knocking his wand from his hand easily..

Harry groaned, his vision blurry. Near his leg, his wand had miraculously landed. He reached unsteadily for it-

And it was smashed by a flying piece of statue. Ironically, it was Salazar's head, and it sneered stiffly at him, almost mocking in the way it was embedded in the ground. A brief wail of phoenix song trilled from it, before it was just another piece of wood with a pretty feather in it.

Harry cursed foully, and propped himself up on his elbows, trying to glare unsteadily at the rapidly approaching monster of Slytherin.

Sorry, Luna. He thought deliriously. Sorry for letting you die like this. Sorry for dying like such a little bitch. Sorry for never telling you I-

There was a another song.

Fawkes appeared, in a flash of crimson flame, his talons striking at the unprotected eyes of the basilisk, clawing them out with cruel, gouging swoops. The basilisk reared back, snapping and howling in pain. Nearby Tom Riddle was trying to egg the basilisk on.

"You can still smell him! Kill him! Kill the boy!"

Fawkes swooped overhead of Harry, letting a raggedy bunch of cloth fall from his clutches. It landed right on Harry's hand, covering it completely.

Harry almost laughed at the absurdity. This was all the Headmaster had to send? A hat and a phoenix? How the hell was he supposed to save Luna with that?

His question was answered in the process. A heavy hilt dropped into his hand from underneath the Sorting Hat, the moment the thought 'Save Luna' crossed his mind. Hesitantly, he drew it out.

The longsword was encrusted with rubies and engraved heavily in gold. Etched onto the blade, there was a name. Godric Gryffindor.

Harry was struck speechless for the very first time in his life.

And was promptly knocked out of it.

"What are you doing sitting around, you worthless bag of ass spackle!? Get up and use the thrice damned thing!" The Sorting Hat shouted at him. Harry scrambled to his feet, his face determined.

He had failed before. But he had a chance now. Even if he knew absolutely nothing about swordplay or could possibly lop of his own foot by accident, this had given him a chance.

The basilisk had stopped writhing now. It was seeking Harry out, it's snout in the air, testing the air, tracking his scent. Harry took a step to the left, and his foot knocked a piece of rubble. The basilisk's head swung towards him, and lunged. Harry dove towards the left, and the wall exploded behind him as the basilisk took a chunk of stone out of the wall as if it were as soft as wood.

Harry pivoted, and dragged the sword in a Slash across the creature's side. The hide, so resistant before, parted like water, oozing ichor and blood. The basilisk hissed in pain, and Harry had to throw himself to the ground as the tail swung over him with force enough to pulverize a tempered steel like a plastic milk carton. Harry got to his feet, and quickly darted behind a statue, making sure not to brush anything on the way.

He thought rationally. The eyes, the biggest threat, were gone, but it still had it's nose and ears to work on. But from the way it was swinging it's head to and fro, they were largely underdeveloped, likely due to it's long period of hibernation.

Harry took a chunk of stone in his hand, and lobbed it over at the other side of the Chamber. With a clatter, the rock landed, and the basilisk's blind head immediately centered there. It coiled, and uncoiled like a spring, smashing into the wall and crushing a good portion, before retreating in pain.

Harry immediately took the chance to spring from his hiding place, and score another gash along it's side. The basilisk screamed, and before Harry knew it, he was diving and rolling again as the basilisk destroyed and mutilated more of the Chamber in it's fury.

Harry crouched behind one of the destroyed busts, thinking furiously. I can't keep jumping and pricking it, it'll take forever, and Luna doesn't have that long. I need to find a direct shot into it's brain. There's only two ways to do that, sticking my hand up it's throat, which would be retarded, since I would almost certainly be poisoned, or...

Harry grimaced. This was going to suck tremendously.

Harry crept up to the end of the Chamber, near the large head of Slytherin where the basilisk had emerged. The basilisk tailed him like a bloodhound, following his scent clumsily but steadily. It was wary, now, since it knew that Harry was a legitimate threat, and not something to be toyed around with, like a mouse.

Harry took up another chunk of rock. Casting it right out from behind the half dismembered bust of Slytherin he was hiding behind, it bounced and struck against the large head.

The reaction was instant. Harry ducked behind a statue, just as chunks of granite flew as the enormous monster smashed it's fangs around the cold stone of the head, breaking quite a few fangs in the process. Harry was out from his hiding place in a second. He then proceeded to do quite possibly the most Gryffindor thing he would ever do in his entire life.

He leapt onto the basilisk's head.

The creature noticed his presence immediately, rearing, but Harry was not about to play rodeo with a rampaging basilisk. He took the founder's sword in a reverse grip and rammed it with all his might into the serpent's ruined eye.

Harry held on for dear life to the sword sunk hilt deep in the snake's cranium as the basilisk bucked and arched wildly, spasming without control. Suddenly, with a sickening squelching sound, the sword pulled free, and Harry was flung across the Chamber in a manner all too familiar, coming to rest next to the fuming Tom Riddle and his prisoners.

Harry yelled in pain as soon as he hit the stone floor, feeling things break. Most certainly a few ribs, and maybe his arm, too. He sat up on his one good arm to watch as the basilisk slumped to a halt, dead.

"You idiot!"

Harry turned, to see Matt jogging over. His face was still smeared black from the ink, but it seemed he could see well enough.

"You went bareback on a basilisk? Were you trying to get yourself killed?" Matt asked. He seemed too relieved to be truly angry, though.

"Worked, didn't it?" Harry asked, his voice tinny and thin through the pain and exhaustion. Matt shrugged helplessly.

"Depends on your definition of 'work'. Whatever, let's just get out of here-"

"Harry! WATCH OUT!" A male voice bellowed from across the Chamber. Harry turned, to see Cedric, Cho, and Susan rushing over across, looking very greasy. No doubt from the slide, he mused.

Then, he felt the basilisk fang pierce his arm, and he screamed.

He turned, to see a blank eyed Luna holding it, with Tom Riddle smirking cruelly in the background.

"Think you could escape?" Tom asked, his voice soft and mirthful. "Not a chance."

Harry growled and ripped the fang from his arm.

"You shouldn't have DONE that." Harry got out, through clenched teeth. He could already feel the venom spreading, seeping into his veins.

In the background, his friends, were fussing around him. Matt was yelling to go get Fawkes.

"Really?" Tom asked, slightly curious. "whyever not?"

Harry rolled over, and with the last of his strength, plunged the fang into the diary held in Ginny's hand. Black ink rose like vile, tainted blood from it's pages.

Tom's mouth opened in a silent scream, golden light shining forth from his open mouth. Harry's whole body was slick with sweat, and he was shuddering uncontrollably, no doubt on account of the poison.

"T-t-that's why. No one f-f-f-fucks with me, T-t-t-" Harry's eyes rolled up into his head, and he saw nothing more. 

The first sight Harry was greeted by was darkness. Then, everything rushed forward into his brain, like a thousand starbursts.

"Fuuuuack!" Harry yelled hoarsely. His voice was raw, even to him. He shot up in the white hospital bed. White washed walls greeted him from every side.

The place was unfamiliar to him. He hesitantly felt at his eyes. There was a large, white bandages covering them. So then...

How could he still see?

There were auras everywhere. Harry could see the walls glowing with thin layers of power. Yellow, purple, all sorts of colors. He concentrated, since it could not really be called squinting since his eyes were covered. There were tiny runes, flowing slowly like molasses through the layers, like a finely embroidered tapestry.

Harry tried not to hyperventilate as he gathered his panicked thoughts. The last memory he had was stabbing Riddle's diary in the Chamber. He would understand if this was the Hospital Wing, but this was so obviously not.

Harry took a gander at his surroundings. There was a nightstand. Other than that, there were a few chairs, but the room was completely Spartan excepting that.

Wait, there was a IV drip on his arm. He concentrated on the bag, trying to make out the small text.

There was a small list of scientific names of ingredients, that Harry didn't bother trying to decipher. Matt was the Potions whiz, not him.

How fitting, that the next words he read were-

Patent: Cooke It Up, Nourishment Potion, Level Three dose.

The words tickled something at the back of his mind. Matt's dad owned the famous Potions company, and he supplied to-

St. Mungo's! Roger Davies had said that. Harry recalled it now. So he was in St Mungo's. Fitting, he supposed, considering he had basilisk venom injected into his arm.

Just as Harry's thoughts turned that way, a nurse bustled in. Even she seemed different, with a distinct white aura glowing off of her. She nearly dropped her clipboard when she saw him.

"Mr. Potter!" She practically screamed.

"How-" Harry broke off in a racking coughing fit. "H-How long have I been in here?" Harry asked hoarsely.

The nurse looked like she was going to faint. "I-you-well-!"

"How long?" Harry demanded.

"I'm getting the doctor!" She shrilled, before backing out the door and slamming it shut.

Harry sat there, quite annoyed. He took went over a few Occlumency excercises. His mental shields seemed just as strong as ever. That was good, he supposed. No one had mind raped him, like Dumbledore or Snape.

The door opened, and a white robed woman stepped in, carrying another clipboard.

"It's nice to see you awake, Mr Potter." She offered, checking a few things on her clipboard with her quill.

"Will somebody please tell me how long I've been here?" Harry snapped. The mediwitch eyed him as one would view a rabid dog.

"Are you feeling any sickness, any queasiness,-?"

"How long?" Harry demanded once more. The witch sighed.

"I'm going to have to ask you to try to take deep breaths and try not to panic-"

"How. The. Fuck. Long?" Harry hissed.

"You've been in a coma for ten months." Harry was shocked into cold numbness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The days after that were spent in a sort of dreamlike state. Harry felt the world pass by in a phantasmogoric way.

The question of his stay had been first. Apparently, he had barely survived the basilisk venom. The venom had already spread to his eyes and brain. Only the combination of Fawkes phoenix tears, which arrived a tad late, and Matt sucking the poison out on the spot stopped him from kicking it completely. Matt had been hospitalized for a short bit due to the exposure, but recovered completely.

Harry had smiled slightly when he heard that. Somehow, he could see Matt doing something stupid like that.

His parents and Henry visited, something that was torture for every second. He did learn some surprising news. Apparently, Henry had fed them some cock and bull story that he had pulled the sword out of the hat. James Potter had always boasted about being related to the Gryffindor lineage.

The sword had seemingly given them enough pull, along with some political juggling from Dumbledore, to claim the Gryffindor properties and fortune. Harry was not suprised. No doubt people saw it fit that the Boy Who Lived was naturally related to the founder of the House of the courageous and brave.

So the Potters were now the most wealthy family in Britain. Harry had made a mental note to visit the family library and trophy room. Lily had said that they had moved all the texts and artifacts from Gryffindor's vault there.

Those artifacts were the only plus side to that, besides one thing. Now, Ginny was even more clingy to Henry than before. Harry smirked evilly. She had been a fangirl before. Now she was borderline obsessive-compulsive.

Then, Dumbledore had arrived, to offer his condolences and congratulations on recovery. Harry had tried as hard he could to tune out the sound of the man's voice. Not to much effect, since the old coot loved the sound of his own voice more than he likely did those retarded lemon drops he raved about constantly.

The only visit he really paid attention to was that of his friend's.

Matt had come first. He looked a bit taller. Harry was sure that his face had lengthened slightly. He looked more mature, certainly. And the ever present light of mischief in his eyes had dimmed somewhat, to a more solemn look that left Harry a bit unnerved.

And for the first time between them, talk came haltingly, awkwardly.

"You didn't miss much." Matt had started. His voice had gotten even deeper. "The year was pretty basic. Snape was a ass, as usual. I dropped a dungbomb in his storeroom, once." Matt smiled slightly. "Your dad's friend, Lupin, taught the year at DADA. He's starting on some sort of final, obstacle course of an exam. He was a pretty decent teacher, compared to Lockhart, but I guess that's not much of a comparison. You'll probably miss it, because of rehab, and all."

It was true. Harry's body was pretty much like jelly from all the disuse. Nourishment potions could keep you alive, but they couldn't retain muscles. Harry was going to have a bitch of a summer working them all up again.

"Slytherin won the House Cup. But we won the Quiddich Cup, which counts for something, I guess. The tests are all going to be easy, so don't sweat studying. The grading system sucks, anyway." Harry nodded in agreement.

There was a somewhat strained silence. "Matt?" Harry asked.

"What?"

"Something's bothering me. I know Fawkes was right there in the Chamber. He dropped the Hat right on me. Why did it take so long to get those tears to me?"

Matt seemed to writhe in his seat. "Well, um..."

It spoke for itself. "Dumbledore?"

Matt let out a slow, easy sigh. "Yes. I questioned Fawkes after the incident. It's a shame, what Dumbledore did the creature. It's hardly a phoenix anymore, more just a personal yes-bird for Dumbledore. Basically, Dumbledore gave it orders to save Henry. He helped you on the way, but..."

"Then he went to pick up Henry and Ron." Harry finished. His voice was quiet and dark.

"Yeah. That's why it took so long to get back. I,-" Matt seemed to struggle for words. "I tried to-"

"Forget it, Matt. You did everything you could." Harry replied flatly. "If you start beating yourself up about this, I'm going to kick your ass."

A knot of tension seemed to drain out of Matt. His shoulders relaxed. Harry could see exactly how much his words meant to him, even without saying.

"How?" Matt asked jokingly. "You're going to be a pile of weaksauce once you get out of here. You'll probably kick your own ass by accident."

The bandages obscured it, but Harry narrowed his eyes. "Just keep telling yourself that, asshat. Just wait until I get back." Matt laughed.

"Looking forward to it. Oh, wait, hey!" Matt muttered. He started rummaging through the pockets of the brown duster he was wearing. "I...made you...that wand...I was talking about. From my gramp's secret journals and all that."

"Really?" Harry was truly interested this time. It would relieve the tedium a great deal if he could at least practice magic while he was waiting.

His delusion was promptly stomped on. "I only get to show it to you. No wands until you're fully up and about. Damn, where is it?" Matt muttered.

"Your right inner pocket." Harry supplied helpfully. He could see it, the pulsing straight gray aura from within his jacket.

That was the other interesting thing that had appeared out of the exchange. Harry had gone blind, during his coma, for what the healers could see, because of the venom. But somehow, out of the exchange, Harry had acquired second sight.

It was very rare, but not unheard of. Several noted wizards had had second sight, such as Nicholas Flamel, even more famous, Salazar Slytherin himself. Merlin himself had had second sight.

Second sight occurred when a person's magic took the place of the ocular nerves, supplying the images in lieu of the eyes. Blindness was one known trigger, as it was by no means hereditary. A person's magical cores actually took the magic from external sources, and used it to create images.

The colors of people were very pale, but now, Harry could see in the dark as well as he could in broad daylight. Also, he could see magical signatures, such as that of a wand, a person, or wards, like those St Mungos had in place to protect the patients, to ensure privacy, or even just the standard one's that kept earthquakes and other natural disasters from affecting the place.

Some of the best Curse-Breaker's, and Ward Masters had second sight. Harry could see how useful it would be in such a profession.

"Thanks." Matt muttered. He reached in, and pried a thin wooden tube out of his coat. He picked at the edge of the binding, and let it fall open.

Inside, there was a magnificent wand. The casing was clear white, with a grip of a sea green scaly substance, along with a crest of glittering crystals as a hilt. The end was carved into a spade-like shape, and the tip looked sharp enough to stab someone as well as shoot a spell.

"Behold." Matt let out easily, sounding very smug with himself. "The casing's from the basilisk fang, ironically enough. That grip's made out of the kraken skin I got in the first year, bound together by unicorn hairs."

"What about those crystals?" Harry asked, a slight tone of respect in his voice. His friend had really outdone himself this time.

Matt grinned. "Phoenix tears. They actually revert to a crystalline state upon contact with non organic substances. I guilt-tripped Fawkes into crying them for me, since he felt bad about leaving you to get Henry. He's still a phoenix under all that coot's manipulations, and they are creatures of the Light."

"You are a criminal mastermind. And the core?"

"The phoenix feather from your old wand. I snagged it before we left. Funny enough, it's also from Fawkes. He told me so. I figured a core you're used to working with would be better than a new one."

Harry reached out and grasped the wand. Immediately, a pulse of his own magic flowed into the wand, and a indescribable feeling of good, of rightness overcame Harry, almost as if the wand had always been waiting for him. Harry let out a brief sigh as he relinquished his hold.

"Thanks, Matt. I can't tell you how much it means for me." Matt flapped a hand at him.

"No problem. Gotta go, Professor Flitwick only gave me and Luna permission to see you because we've been good boys and girls all year." Matt got up, and opened the door. He stopped for a minute in the doorway. "Oh, forgot to tell you. Dad's been hearing some weird stuff about next year. Something about them cancelling the Quiddich, and reinstating some old custom. I have no inkling why they would do that, but just thought you might want to know."

Harry shrugged, and Matt nodded, before twisting slightly to let Luna pass in. She took a seat where Matt previously had, fidgeting slightly. Matt gave them both a saucy grin before closing the door.

Luna seemed to have a internal conflict. She started fidgeting worse. "I-"

"Don't." Harry stopped her before she even began. "If you're here to apologize for the fang in my arm, then walk out that door. You were under the influence of the diary the entire time. I never held you responsible for that, and I never will."

Unlike most men, women had a different form of gratitude than playful ribbing. This Harry found out very fast.

Namely, when Luna shot out of her chair and hugged him with all her might. Which was a surprising amount, which Harry also found out.

She was crying, that much Harry could tell. Awkwardly, Harry wrapped a hesitant arm around her back, patting her in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

You want to decipher a lost text? He could do that. You want to create a spell that can wipe out a dragon in one hit? Give him enough time and someone with enough juice to cast it, sure. You want to comfort a crying women? Then you were flat out of luck.

From what Harry could understand between her burying her head in his chest and crying, she had been worried, there was something about it being all her fault mixed in there, and those two were generally the most repeated in her fit.

He tried to approach this logically, by ruling out those first. "Luna, I'm fine now. Nothing that happened a year ago matters now. Could you please stop crying?"

Well, bang went that plan. There was no visible change in her rate of tear flow or grip. He settled for holding her and petting her hair until she stopped. The petting, of course, was all part of getting her to stop. It had nothing to do with how soft her hair was or how nice it smelled.

Right.

Her tears eventually dried up, until she was just laying there on top of him, sniffling every once in a while. He didn't stop petting her hair, either. What if she began again? He wouldn't want that. Not one bit.

She had grown too, he realized. Her face was fuller, more defined, with high cheekbones and much less baby fat. Her silvery eyes were definitely bigger than before, though that could be a result of the crying. Also, evidence of her growth was pressing into him, along with sticking out back, in her painfully tight looking jeans. Luna had really burst in to full bloom.

She placed her chin on his chest, gazing up at him. The redness in her cheeks was receding.

"So-" Harry attempted to normalize things. "-tell me about school."

"Well...Matt probably told you some." Harry nodded. "I guess I'll go anyway, and see if I don't bore you to death." She tried jokingly.

"I doubt you could." Harry answered.

"Well...other than schoolwork, Cho's been waiting for Cedric all year. He's still trying to work up the guts to ask her out. Susan's stayed pretty level, but she's been giving Neville Longbottom the eye for a while."

"That pudgy kid in Gryffindor?" Harry asked. Luna nodded.

"Dunno why she'd want him, but there it is." Luna replied.

The door creaked open, and both their heads whipped around.

Professor Flitwick was standing there, looking rather embarrassed. Harry suddenly realized that the position they were in, her laying on top of him and gazing up on him, might considered by some to be very compromising.

Luna apparently realized this as well, as she was off him so fast that she might have never been there, standing by the bed and smoothening her ruffled shirt.

"Erhm...well." Flitwick began. "The visiting hours are almost over...I could ask them for more time, if you'd like?" He offered quickly. Luna's cheeks flushed red, and she shook her head quickly. "Oh...ehm..." Flitwick seemed unsure of what to say.

"I'll be out in a moment, Professor." Luna assured him. Flitiwick bobbed his head so fast Harry thought for a moment he might snap his small neck, before quickly beating a tactical retreat. As soon as the door clicked shut, she turned back to him.

"I never did thank you for saving me." Harry scooted slightly away. There was something in that devilish grin she had on that made alarm klaxons go off in his head.

"It's alright, you reallydon'tnneedto-"

He got cut off, as Luna slithered like a eel straight up to his bedside, and kissed him full on the lips, holding his head still with both of her hands.

Harry had just enough time to wonder how the hell this had happened, before it was over.

And for the second time in his life, he was struck speechless.

"See you at school, Harry." She giggled slightly and closed the door.

Harry sat, transfixed, on the bed.

He finally managed to get something out.

"Cherry." He murmured, touching his lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry only barely managed to get back to school in time before the quarters ended. When he got back, he immediately noticed something.

He wasn't known as the Heir anymore.

He later learned that Dumbledore had emancipated him in the newspapers. It had confused him, until he realized the reason. He couldn't have such a scandalous link to the House of Slytherin connecting to his picture perfect Light family. And now he was in the man's debt, something that rose such utter feelings of disgust that he knew he would no choice but to discharge it as soon as possible.

Matt had been right; The end of year exam had been so pathetic, he hadn't even needed to take in the summer, as they offered to do. The looks on their faces as the graded the papers still brought a sardonic smile to his face.

Harry slowly limped through the hall. He had refused crutches from a combination of his own pride and a instinctive need to do things independently. Having Malfoy call him 'gimpy' has quite possibly the most funny experience in his life, as it demonstrated how childish and unimaginative the blond rat was.

It was the last day at school, the night right before the feast in the morning where Dumbledore would announce the scores and the winner of the House Cup. Matt had not been far off. Slytherin was in the lead by at least a hundred points, so the outcome of the Cup was blindingly obvious. Harry's consolation was that Ravenclaw was in second, which was not so bad.

For everyone else in the castle, this was party night; As was customary on the last night, the curfew had been lifted and everyone was in abandoned classrooms with their click of friends, celebrating with butterbeer and Exploding Snap and illegal firewhiskey and more often than not erotic party games. Harry had declined partying with Matt, Luna, Cedric, Cho, Susan(Who had dragged Neville into it), and Mariette. Normally, he would be all for doing so, but he had something more important to do.

Harry slowly pushed the door to the girl's bathroom open.

People had tried to open the Chamber; it was evident in all the tables brought in, with hastily drawn notes all over them, and the numerous spells that left still evident residues on the sinks. Harry was not suprised. After all, when a legendry secret place in one of the most magical castles in Britain was opened, treasure hunters were soon to follow. Harry did not blame them. After all, it was his intention as well. Too bad he was the only Non-Dark Lord Parcelmouth in the world, as far as he knew.

Harry once again thanked his lucky stars that the hole had closed of it's own accord. Slytherin wouldn't want anyone finding out about his little hidey hole, after all.

"Open. Stairs." Harry hissed. The sinks parted, and the hole widened, and the revolving stairs. Harry took a single step onto one of the stairs, before a idea struck him.

"Move."

The stairs jerked forward, slowly revolving Harry down the chasm. Harry smiled; It seemed that there were escalators, they were simply not called so.

The ride went surprisingly fast, and instead of down the hall from the Chamber, it brought him directly in front of the great golden door, which was still ajar, seeing as no one had closed it.

Harry slowly limped past the crushed busts and statues. A reeking stench filled his nose. It soon became obvious what it was.

The basilisk still lay there, it's gargantuan corpse covering the mouth of Slytherin. Covering his destination. Harry smirked.

"Even in death, you serve your master." Harry laughed, his dry chuckle lingering in the greenish gloom.

But in reality, it posed a true problem. He doubted he would be able to levitate it, which left either pushing it aside or blasting it to pieces. And seeing as he did not possess the strength of a mountain troll, that left one option.

Harry drew his new wand and took careful aim at one of the gashes in it's side, figuring it would be weakest there.

"Sorry old chap," Harry muttered. "But I really need to know what you were guarding." Time to test Matt's boast of Cooke wands. "Reducto!"

The red Blasting curse left the wand with a large bang, like a shotgun being fired. It looked no bigger than a regular one. Harry had a brief moment to wonder if this was some elaborate prank by Matt when the bolt struck.

In a large explosion of gore, the basilisk's midsection exploded, raining organs and blood all over. Harry only had just enough time to call "Protego!" Before the iridescent blue shield began deflecting chunks of meat the size of his head to the side.

Harry was truly impressed; to make a blast like that himself, he would've needed to take at least twice as much magic. It seemed the wand really did amplify the effects.

As Harry released the shield, he realized immediately that the stench was even worse. Harry wrinkled his nose as he picked his way among the entrails of the basilisk.

"Don't go anywhere now, I might need your venom or such later." Harry informed the basilisk's upper half, as he came to stand in front of the closed mouth of Salazar Slytherin.

"Speak to me, Salazar Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts four." Harry whispered. The mouth ground open, and Harry stepped inside.

Harry found himself in a magnificent construct. A three story library, made of ornate carved stone. From what Harry could see, a large opening in the wall to the left was where the basilisk slept. The walls were engraved in fine gold and the occasional jewel, usually diamonds or emeralds, likely the green silver fetish that had began the Slytherin house.

Inset in the walls, were thousands of books. Likely more than even the Potter library, though, with the new addition, he wasn't quite so sure. In front of him, there was a large round stone table, with various books opened and strewn across it, collecting dust. Harry took one more moment to appreciate this, before ascending the winding golden stairwell to his right, up to the second floor.

The second floor was much the same. Harry's second sight could see dozens of wards, all over the walls, for longetivity, to keep away moths, to keep dust from the books in the shelves. There were a few differences.

For one, in the middle of the stone chair, there was a finely bound black diary, on a glass pedestal. Harry took a brief glance at it. It was already flipped to the last page.

And as I leave this world, I leave all this to you, nameless descendant. So says I, Salazar Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts four...

Harry let the smile widen across his face. This was it.

This was Voldemort's secret source of strength, of hidden knowledge, how he had risen so fast in the ranks of the wizarding world. Decades of lost knowledge, Harry could feel pulsing within these forgotten tomes, begging to be known.

Voldemort had stolen from him. Stolen something too precious and fragile for words. He had stolen a year of Harry's life.

A year with his friends, a year lost of learning. A year of missed opportunities. A year without Luna and Matt. Of all the commodities in the world, wizarding or Muggle, the most precious by far was time. And for that, he would pay.

He would pay with his life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

AN: ok so this is the first part of the ice series I saved, the next two are colder then ice and then absolute zero. Again these are not my stories I just saved them from deletion and cleaned them up a bit. and wow did I catch tonnes(British word meaning long ton) of errors. I'm sure I missed several.


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